The whole Cheryl Business

Last week I got a phone call at my desk phone at work with some guy asking for Cheryl. I told him I wasn’t Cheryl and he probably had the wrong number. The guy kept insisting if Cheryl was there and for me not to hide Cheryl from him. I tried explaining to him again that this was a business number and not a private number. The guy didn’t seem to understand and kept insisting for Cheryl. So I got pissed off and screamed there’s no Cheryl here and hang up on him.

THE BIMBO'S ARE BACK

Can’t I have a normal Italian class for crying out loud?

I rocked up to my 2nd Italian Post Beginners class which is actually the 3rd class as I missed the first class to find two totally nutcase bimbo’s in there.

One of them strolled in with the tape recorder and told me that she was the new teacher and Lucy had quit. For a split moment I actually believed her but had my doubts as this was something I did the first Italian class with Tittyvein and the obsessed secretary back in March.

Within minutes they both cracked and told me that Lucy was running late because she was sick and trains and buses were running late. By this time I was on the verge of a headache from being left in a room with these 2 lunatics. Anyways they introduced themselves and one of them ran downstairs to put money in a parking meter and basically never came back. The other one started questioning me about the class. I thought she was apart of the class and wasn’t here last week as I missed the first class.

She went on to explain that she and her friend have done this course previously and they are only doing it to recap. When I asked her when she did it, I was expecting to hear something like 6 months or something but instead she went onto tell me that she and her friend did the Post Beginners course and then did it again because they missed a few of the classes. Their class got cancelled because of students dropping out so Lucy joined it up with this other class that had 2 girls in it. So realistically it is their 3rd time doing this bloody course. Who the hell doesnt understand after completing the same course twice?

Somehow this lead into her bagging out the two girls in the previous class. She kept going on about how dedicated and committed they were to doing Italian. Now it didn’t hit me at first until she got to this. She went on to explain how there was this Australian girl in her class that told them that she studied everyday and everything was Italian to her. When they asked her what she did on the weekend she would go on about wining and dining at Italian restaurants and that her whole life had become Italian. The minute she said the girl was “Obsessed” this is when it clicked. She was talking about the obsessed secretary and Oishii.

Just to confirm I was on the right track I asked her if the other girl was Australian as well. She went on to say no she is Asian. This then started another session which the Asian girl got labeled the “Naturally Smart” but annoying one. Haha By this stage I was laughing my head off as she was talking about Oishii.

She continued on about how the obsessed one and the naturally smart one was too committed to studying and that they didn’t have a social life and that they probably have nothing better to do in their life. I was so biting my lips at this stage that I had to pull my phone out and SMS Oishii to tell her what the hell was going on.

Meanwhile somewhere between all of this one of the other guys in the class rocked up. He was the only one I met last week and we both got punished for not knowing how to say 11 in Italian. After he walked in, the “NEW” Kylie followed. I was drinking water and I practically choked when I saw this. She was wearing fuck me boots with the shortage skirt possible. At least Kylie could pull this off. This one had no hope in hell.

The new “KYLIE” went on to explain that the reason she skipped class last week was because she needed a drink. Who the hell skips a class because they wanted to drink? Mind you she started to smell like she just had some before she walked through the door.

It was past 6:30pm and there was still no sign of Lucy and no sign of the girl that went to the parking meter. So the other bimbo kept going on about the 2 girls in her class. She told everyone how the “Naturally smart but annoying” girl insisted on Lucy doing a swear word class followed by dinner. By this time I had heard enough and didn’t want to hear anymore.

This is when the other guy brought up the fact that Lucy was having a party in November. The bimbo stated that she was invited to the last one but didn’t go because she couldn’t handle the other two. This is when the guy tells them that I went to Lucy’s party. Before the guy finishes she turns around and screams at me “YOU MET THE GIRLS THEN”. I was like “There were too many people”; I don’t know who you’re talking about.

At this point Lucy walks in and the look on her face is priceless. She had a look that stated fuck not theses two girls again. I think the poor thing is sick of trying to teach them. They don’t seem to understand anything. Meanwhile the bimbo that went to the parking meter storms back in claiming she broke the parking meter and it won’t take money. Apparently the same thing happen last week and they got a ticket for not getting a parking ticket. Lucy told everyone that she was sick and not in the mood. The bimbos wouldn’t shut up so she told them to shut up and be more committed to learning.

The class started.......... more to follow

Confessions of the Group Lesbians

you nut!
it didn't all happen at once!!!
they were all seperate incidents!!
and shelly and jenny and cheryl and catalina didn't get it on
they just confessed their love but nothing happened!!!!!!!

Cheryl, Catalina, Shelly, Jenny, Sharon & Oishii Story

There’s been an important update on the whole Cheryl, Catalina, Shelly, Jenny, Sharon & Oishii story.

Apparently my story’s gone a bit hay wire. Cheryl kissed Shelly and the guy’s noise started bleeding outside of the toilet.

Then Cheryl and Catalina got it on while Shelly and Jenny got it on at the same time.

Sharon had no interactive what so ever. While Oishii watched all of this happening and fucked up her life.

Now Cheryl is with Andrew, Sharon’s single and desperate and Oishii’s just screwed up!

Meanwhile we still dont know who Terrance is!

The Korean Wedding with SHARON

I some how got asked to crash a Korean wedding last weekend. I didn’t even know the Koreans but decided that I should crash it regardless. So I got the details off Oishii who stated the ceremony was at Greenacre at 4pm followed by the reception at Auburn RSL. When I asked what time the reception was the response I got was the bride doesn’t even know.

Then the bride came back and said the reception was at 4:30pm. Some how the bride thought her wedding ceremony started at 4 and would finish in 15 minutes for all of us to rush to Auburn RSL to have the reception part. Don’t ask me how these Koreans function!

Anyway I rocked up to Greenacre and the only parking I could find was at a bus stop. I had no choice but to park there and rush inside as the ceremony was about to begin. I practically ran like a lunatic into this function room and threw myself down as the ceremony started. I was way out of breath to even say hi to anyone.

The ceremony started and some guy started talking in Korean. This was fine. It wasn’t until the second guy who hit the stand that I started to crack. This old Korean guy got on the stand and started yelling his head off. He wouldn’t take a breath in between. His speech sounded like we were all going to war or something. I couldn’t help but start laughing. I tried to bite my lips and I knew if I started laughing this would be an inappropriate time but I just couldn’t help it. I avoided any eye contact with Oishii as this would of made it worst. I think it was the fact I just rushed to get inside and some how all this laughing had built up. The hall was extremely boiling hot and I was sweating like a madman.

Anyway I managed to keep it under control and the ceremony continued. I had no idea as to what was going on and to be honest half the people in there had no idea. Finally some guy decided to speak in English and we got the basics of what this whole she bang was about.

The ceremony came to an end and before I rushed out I tried finding out what was happening but still no one had any idea. This is when Cheryl ( Her name had to be changed from Shirley to Cheryl for security reasons) states that she is going home before going to the reception as she has stuffed up her makeup. Who the hell goes back home to do their make up. Who told you to burst out crying during the ceremony?

For those that remember Shirley slash Cheryl she is the sperm technician. She collects Sperm for a living. I have previously blogged about her some where.

So I decided to head to Auburn on my own while the gang headed home to do Cheryl’s makeup. I arrived in Auburn within 10minutes and thought about going to Krispy Kremes for coffee but then decided to head to BIG W to get some deodorant as the hall was extremely hot and I was sweating madly in there.

I finally got to Auburn RSL where I parked my car like 2 blocks away and walked over. I spent the next 15 minutes waiting like a prostitute in front of Auburn RSL. Finally the gang had arrived and we walked in. We were shown our way to the hall. When we arrived we noticed the hall was extremely packed with people. You could barely walk that’s how bad it was. People were diving for food as they haven’t eaten since 1999.

We struggled finding a table to sit down in as everything was taken or reserved. Finally we found a messy table and planted ourselves down and asked one of the waitresses to clean the table for us. She looked at us as if we just asked her to stick her hand down a public toilet. For fucks sake woman that’s what you are there for.

Cheryl and Andrew sat while Oishii and I dived into the buffet. There was a long queue for the hot buffet so we thought fuck it and went to what ever we could grab. We sighted the seafood and I went crazy grabbing prawns onto my plate. It’s been ages since I ate prawns and I was craving for them.

We some how managed to cut the hot food line and slammed what ever food we can onto our plates. The people in the queue gave us dirties as we just cut the queue. But by this time we didn’t care as we were starving to death. We went back to the table and sent Cheryl and Andrew to get their food.

We started eating when we both noticed we need drinks. So I went to the bar to get a jug of coke. This is when the guy at the bar tells me that they are completely out of Jugs and I should look for a jug at my table and bring it back for a free refill. I head back to the table searching for a jug when we both realize we don’t have one. This is when this stupid bitch of a waitress is hanging out near our table so I ask her how I can get a jug. The stupid bitch points to the table next to me and tells me to go get that. Who the hell tells someone to go steal someone else’s jug. What was I going to do? Go grab their jug and run off with it? My response to her was, “What you want me to steal someone else’s jug”?

This lead into a minor argument and I was ready to slam the stupid Asian’s face into the first Jug I saw. Anyway so, after she left and I was stressed to the max with this stupid jug issue I decided to head back to the bar to get individual drinks. The guy must have seen how stressed out I was due to the jug and quickly managed to find me a jug. I grabbed it off him and filled it myself. I was ready to walk out of that place with the jug for spite.

So we continue eating after all that fuss and Cheryl rocks up with Sharon insisting Oishii to go with her for the presentation of the gift. We both look at her like what the fuck are you on about. Meanwhile she still doesn’t have a plate of food in her hand and we are both onto our second here. If its not the waitress stressing me its Cheryl. For some reason Cheryl thought we were going to present the gift to the bride and groom. Like what the hell? What did she think we were going to do? Pull the vacuum cleaner out of the box and do a demonstration to her and show her how much it can suck up? What’s better than saying congratulation we got you the best sucking machine for you to use. I don’t know how the husband will take it. I think he will prefer her sucking the life out of him rather than this vacuum but let’s not go there.

By the time Cheryl, Sharon & Andrew sat down with their plates in their hands we had finished our third plates and couldn’t move. Sharon ate a small piece of lettuce and a small tomato and she was full. God love that girl.

At this point the bride came around screaming hello at everyone. She looks at me and says “Who are you”. So we try and explain to her that I am crashing the party but she seems more interested in running off. Meanwhile we asked some waitress again to clean our table and she gave us a filthy look. So I decided if they were not cleaning our table that I would simply dump all our plates onto a reserve table. They would have to clean that up wouldn’t they. Within two seconds the reserved table that I dumped everything in was cleaned.

The whole wedding came to an end around 7pm. What type of a wedding finishes at 7pm for fucks sake? If this was a wog bash it wouldn’t even start until 8pm haha

So we decided to go speak to the bride and get some photo’s before deciding what to do. This is when the cameras came out and I decided to take random photo’s of people I didn’t even know. Apparently I took a good photo of the bride’s chest. The groom walked in wearing a T-shirt. The guy was ready to take the bride home and make love to her. I tied convincing everyone to lie on the couch so we could get a photo but they refused.

After much photo taking we left Auburn RSL and decided to head to a café near Fitness First in Auburn.

Oishii and I went in the same car and decided to meet Sharon, Cheryl and Andrew there. This is when I point out to Oishii that Sharon looks miserable and that she should be slapped. Oishii agrees and we walk to the café.

At the café we switch between topics until some how we step on the topic that back in high school Cheryl had an experience with another girl in front of the girl toilets. When one of the guys witness this his nose started bleeding. Poor guy couldn’t handle watching two girls go for it in front of him. The sick bastard probably never recovered from this.

The story continued and poor Sharon was shocked as she was never told about this. Apparently Cheryl and Shelly kissed but then Cheryl liked Caitalina who liked Jenny. This got into a weird ass group session. Apparently Cheryl decided to tell Caitalina she liked her at the same time Caitalina told Jenny she liked her. Somewhere in between the name Terrence came in but no one knew who Terrence was. So Cheryl basically smooched half of the girls in high school but for some reason Cheryl never made out with Sharon or Oishii. If you thought Sharon was miserable before you should have seen her now. I didn’t know if she was disgusted that her friend Cheryl got it on with other girls in high school or whether she was disgusted that she wasn't apart of all of this. Meanwhile apparently Oishii witnessed all of this in high school, which explains why she’s so fucked up hahaha

Poor Andrew was left in shock thinking what possibilities are waiting him in his future sex life with Cheryl. Maybe adding Sharon into the picture might spice their relationship?

We were at the café for a long time until we noticed that it was almost 9:30pm and the whole Cheryl, Shelly, Caitalina, Jenny, Terrence & Sharon thing took a lot out of us. Meanwhile I realised that we didn't have any dessert at the Wedding.

We decided to head to reading cinemas next door to watch a movie. The only movie playing was snakes on a plane. So we decided to watch that even though I didn’t want to watch it. Snakes scare the hell out of me and watching this movie scared the shit out of me. I don’t even want to talk about it. I left the movie feature feeling disgusted and paranoid that there might be a snake in my car.

The Car Spot

My manager had an accident two weeks ago and has had his car in repair all week. Since he couldn't use his car spot for the week he decided to give it to me. I jumped at the chance as I normally have to walk 3 blocks to get to the office in the morning. It's a mini City to Surf marathon practically morning after morning.

By the time I step into the office, I grasping for air and a chair to throw myself on. Especially when the weather is extremely windy. It takes me longer to walk up as I'm blown from one side of the street to the other. It almost sounds like my experience in Mykonos in Skan. Bar.

Anyway to cut to the chase, yesterday morning I had to get buzzed into the under ground carpark as I dont have a swipe card. To add to the confusion we have this new morning receptionist who has no fuckin idea what is going on. Being an Asian you cannot really expect too much from her. I waited 20 minutes in front of the gate while she pushed every bloody button that there was at reception and she still couldnt get it right.

I had to wait while she went to get back up and work out how a freakin gate opens for fucks sake. By the time she managed to open this gate I had built enough frustration to rip her head off when I walked into the office.

So I slam on the gas and start making my way down viciously down the ramps to get to my spot when one of my work mates appears out of no where around a corner I turn. I practically smash into him as I notice my boss sitting next to him in the car. The shock on my work mates face was priceless. It was like stealing candy from a little kid. Anyway I continue on my way and manage to get to my car spot safely.

Two hours later my boss returns to the office and accuses me of driving like a lunatic hahaha
I try and defend myself but have lack of supporting material.

Moral of the story - the stupid Asian chick screwed me over and now my boss thinks I drive like a lunatic!

Clearing the Bitch Slappers Name

The bitch slapping Italian has filed a complaint to clear his name in all of this she bang with the "Darling". The bitch slapping Italian claims the "Darling" is infact NOT his "Darling" and that he has limited interaction with Andy.

After much consideration, the board have decided that the bitch slapping Italian is in fact innocent and has been wrongly accused. We send our apolgises to the Italiano and will in future investigate the situation before nationally publishing on the web.

Lady in the Water

Last night I went to the Premiere of Lady in the Water. I was quite excited to be going to a Premiere as I haven’t gone to one since my Austero days.

I arrived at the cinemas to be totally crashed when there was no red carpet. I got directed upstairs where there was no security or pass check. The least they could have asked was for my ticket. Not that I have one but I would like to be asked for one. Strolling upstairs I spotted the WB gang scattered around the bar.

You were entitled to one free drink. I immediately grabbed white wine and started sipping away when I noticed some people. Now for those that don’t know my replacement for WB was this guy called Andy. Apparently he called some reps in field “Darling” and the reps got offended by this. So he some how became the bitch slapping Italians Darling. Don’t question me on this one, question the Italian!

Anyway Andy got totally smashed on one glass of wine and started muttering things. Some where along the line he reveled that he had a job interview tomorrow and that he wanted to leave WB. This is within one foot of the manager who wasn’t impressed. Looks like the bitch slapping Italian is about to lose his Darling.

Moving right along we went into the movie theatre and sat ourselves down. The movie started within minutes and there were no previews. This was disappointing as I love the previews. I get really annoyed if there are no previews before the movie.

The movie started and within 15 minutes I was ready to rip someone’s arm out so we can all be rushed out of the movie theatre. The movie was extremely slow and it was torture. What the hell was this movie about? It was supposed to be based on a mythical Chinese story. I think Hidden Intentions would get more ratings if it was released.

The sound effects were the only best thing as the girl sitting next to me was jumping up and down. The movie wasn’t even scary for a start however she seemed to get caught in the moment of things and practically fall off her chair every time there was a loud bang.

When we walked out of the movie theatre the poor girl was in shock and practically in tears. God forbid if she watched Texas chainsaw Massacre. We would need an ambulance to take her out of the movie theatre.

The slutty Chinese girl in the movie was the only comic relief. She probably made the movie happen. The way she talked and walked made you laugh including her nutcase Chinese mother who kept screaming random Chinese at people. The only English words the woman knew were “NOT HOME” and then slapping the door. God reminds me of someone!

The movie got more ridiculous when they introduce this lawn dog who was after the girl who escaped from her land to bring a message to a human. The lawn dog was supposed to be scary but looked more like one of Fred’s green furry jackets.

The climax to the movie was the best laugh. They had to form some kind of ceremony which required 7 sisters, a healer, an interpreter and a guardian. God I’m so inspired to do a ceremony in Hidden Intentions with the left over cast.

My reviews on this are thumbs down. I wouldn’t waste your money or more importantly valuable time. If you want a laugh go watch Hidden Intentions!!!

Brad Called

I just got a call on my voicemail on my desk phone at work with some guy called Brad calling. The funny part was the guy was leaving a message for Helen. Who the hell hears a guy’s voice and then continues to leave a message for Helen? Who the hell is Helen in the first place?

The message starts by G’day Helen its Brad from head go or something. Just giving you a quick call as I just got the quotes blah blah blah. What type of a lunatic leaves a message like that on my desk phone? What the hell is wrong with people theses days? Can’t they understand I am not Helen? Not that there is anything wrong with Helen but I am NOT Helen!

It just occurred to me that this shit always happens to me. When I was in Mykonos in 2004 I had to rush out of the shower when the phone was ringing. It was trevor. He was calling for Kerry. I have no fuckin idea who Kerry or trevor is.

There was a repeat in 2005 when the phone rang in Istanbul in the middle of the night when some chick was looking for Lily. For a minute I thought it was someone from Oishii's family. The chick on the phone kept insisting for her mother Lily. I had no idea what was going on as I was dead tired and trying to catch up on sleep after a 3 hour flight from Athens to Istanbul that was only supposed to take 1.

BACK TO ITALIAN

After a short break I decided to head back to studying Italian. I sent Mokohoto an email questioning when the next class was. You have to love it. An Asian woman being the coordinator for Italian and Spanish courses.

She replied back stating that the class had begun last week but I could join this week at a discounted price. So I decided to rock up after work. I was pretty excited as Luciano was taking the class again. She was my teacher previously for those that remember.

I rocked up to class and found Luciano in the hallway, she showed me to my room and the class was empty. I thought I was running late because the enrolment process took forever. Mokohoto kept getting interrupted and some how stuffed everything up. A simple 5 minute enrolment took 15 minutes.

I sat in class waiting for everyone when one guy turned up. We decided to start the class. Apparently there are 4 other students but for some reason they didn’t turn up. They probably heard I was coming.

The class started and Luciano decided to test what I remember. I got stuck on numbers when she was teaching us to tell the time. I couldn’t remember how to say eleven in Italian. So she asked the other guy and he couldn’t remember either. This is when Luciano cracked it and told us that for next week we both had to write the Italian numbers from one to hundred, hundred times. Talk about punishment man. That’s going to take me half the weekend to do.

The class continued and I realized we didn’t have the tit festival that we had last time. There was no Kylie or Obsessed secretary.

During the break Luciano told us that she was having another party. For those that don’t remember Luciano had a house party back in June. We rocked up with our pastries and wines in our hands to her backyard meet and greet party. There was a variety of people who spoke Italian, French and Russian. The whole point was for us to meet new people. Instead we ate, drank and pissed off.

Luciano had made some hot Italian wine. She made 3 pots that night to keep us all warm. Cherry got drunk on the Italian wine and started screaming in the car about who’s been having sex, hence which brought on the whole sex competition. The alcohol really got to Cherry when she started stroking my leg but let’s not even go there!

Back to the Italian class, I learnt how to tell the time during the first half of the class. This was good because I got to revise my numbers. The second half of the class we concentrated on how to deal with problems in hotels. This part I had to focus carefully on as we all know I have major hotel dramas while traveling.

Will keep you all posted as to how it is all going. Till then Ciao!

THE DIRTY UNDERPANTS

Received this email and Thought I'll share it around!
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On a different note - heres something that will gross u out.

I went to kmart to get underwear (mine are in the process of getting washed ok - no, i dont usually get underwear from kmart before you make it another miss shop episode! theres no grace bros in broadway.).

I brought them home and there was a blood stain on them. YUCK!

I freaked. I had to take them back today and show them. I was embarassed. I had to fill out a customer compaint form and there were four ladies huddled at the desk telling me what to write cause they have had to put up with it forever.

The manager just called me (a man) and he was apologising. I dont know which is worse! that should make u laugh! only i can get myself into these situations.

MYKONOS ANNIVERSARY DINNER

It’s been 2 years since we first hit the shores of Mykonos together and to celebrate this moment we thought we would hit one of the Greek restaurants in Sydney. After researching we thought we would hit "The Greek Islands Tavern" in Earlwood.

Arriving to this restaurant we were greeted by two Asian girls. We both thought shit we picked a place that is run by Asians instead of Greeks. Luckily within minutes we realized that it was all good.

We got shown to our table, which was in some little squashed up corner next to a wall. The restaurant was packed to the bone. Once you were in your seat you knew that you weren’t going to move out of it. Next to us on the wall was a map of Greece, the Greek Islands and Turkey to which we became obsessed with. Every time I turned up head to look at the map I spent another 10minutes studying it. By the end of the night I could have drawn that map myself for crying out loud.

Looking at the menus we decide that we had to have half of the menu so it was better to order a whole lot of mezes than to order two main meals. Instead we went with the BBQ octopus, taramosalata dip, traditional Greek salad, Spinach and Cheese triangles and one major meal meal.

Tradional Greek Salad

Taramosalata Dip

BBQ Octopus

Lamb & Pasta

The Taramosalad Dip was absouletely beautiful. You could run you tongue up and down the plate searching for more. I could definately overdose on this dip. The octopus had arrived. This was nice as well but for some reason it was abit dry for my liking. I think it needed abit of sauce. Better still I should have dipped it into the taramosalata dip and shoved it into my mouth.

After stuffing ourselves to the max we knew we had to order dessert. Without argument we ordered Galatoboureko. For those that haven’t tried this shame on you. It’s the best combination of filo pastry and custard saturated with syrup. God writing this now makes me feel like it. Accompanying this dessert was traditional Greek coffee, well double for some.

Oishii Got thirsty

The entire dinner thing came to an end at approx. 10pm. Feeling it was too early in the night to go home we quickly raced into the car and started driving randomly. That is after finding our way out of that car park. We drove past Earlwood RSL, which looked really nice, centered on the water. At this point we decided to follow the car in front of us for the next 10minutes until we realized we had no idea where the hell we were or where the hell we were going.

Apart of the Map

We didn’t seem to care as we had the music pumping in the car. Now let me explain something. We were driving to Crows Nest a while ago and nutbush city limits came on the radio. So we immediately started pumping this out of the car when Oishii decides to have a laughing fit that most people pump R&B or Dance music out of the car we were pumping Nutbush. So to add to this Oishii remixed a Rave CD for us that featured Nutbush, Get Into the Groove, Nutbush, Wake me up before you go go, Nutbush, Hey Mickey, Nutbush and did I mention Nutbush?

We ended up near Redfern still pumping Nutbush before doing a quick lap around uni we ended up at Broadway shopping center thinking we could catch a movie. All the sessions were finished so we jumped back into the car and started pumping Nutbush out of the shopping centre until we hit Leichhardt. Once we hit Norton St, windows were down and Nutbush was on repeat until we came to minor complete stop outside of Mythos before turning the volume up further. We did two happy laps on Norton St running amock before heading to Haberfield.

I still don’t understand why the hell we went to haberfield as neither of us could have eaten or drinken a thing. We ended up at a café and within minutes ordered coffee and canoli. The deal was we weren’t going home before midnight. God if we were in Mykonos we would be waking up around now to go clubbing. The canoli arrived and we started breaking it up in pieces and shoving it into our coffees. What the? You may say. But trust me when I was in Santorini they did this in a coffee shop I went to and I’m still craving for that coffee.

The waiters started to pack the restaurant up when all of a sudden I spotted something. For a minute I thought it could be Fred. I was in too much of a shock that all I could say was "Oh my god, Oh my god". This is when Oishii turns around and practically screams "Holy Fuck"!

Within a split second we both burst out into tears. The worst part was there was no way of stopping us laughing.

What were we laughing at you may ask? This woman was walking out of the café dressed in a big bird costume practically. It was worst than a white duster or anything Fred has ever worn. The white jacket was 15 times her size and looked like she plucked 30 – 40 chickens to make the jacket. Who the hell walks around wearing shit like that?

The worst part was the woman must have heard us and she was like less than a metre away but seriously if your going to dress like that then you deserve to be laughed at. If anyone has seen Fred’s gorilla costume, then think that 6 times in white.

We both couldn’t stop laughing and we knew we had to get up and leave. We tried getting a photo but because the restaurant had already packed up we couldn’t get much but the chairs stacked up in front of us.

Thanks for the memory Big Bird. I wonder if she’s a local there?

Hidden Big Bird behind chairs