Full day Santorini Tour

SANTORINI TOUR

It's an early wakeup call to prepare for the day ahead. Deciding to save time I avoid making toast or tea and we boil some noodles for breakfast. Special thanks to Nagasaki for bringing half a suitcase of noodles.

Its quick showers and packing of things we will need for the day as we storm out of the apartment and rush down the stairs. Now we were told to wait in front of the apartment and the tour bus would stop to pick us up. We were told the name of the tour bus as well but I can't rememeber it now.

So were standing on the edge of the road waiting for this tour bus. I asked Nagasaki for some lollies as I was still hungry only to be yelled at to wait until we board the bus. I can now see how taking a packet of lollies from a bag can distract someone so much while they are waiting on the edge of the road for a bus.

We watched a few buses drive by but none of them matched our tour company. Finally we notice our tour bus heading towards us and were quite excited. Well I'm excited that I will be getting a lolly once were on board. We wave like lunatics at the bus driver who notices us and slows down. Once he approaches us he takes a good look at us and slams on the gas and storms off. We practically chock on the dirt he leaves behind. Meanwhile I turn around and can't see Nagasaki due to the dust only to notice Nagasaki causing a scene in reception. Nagasaki is confirming that was our tour bus.

The receptionist jumps on the phone and calls the tour company for us. I'm still trying to get the dirt out of my mouth while she's chatting in Greek. For a minute I thought she was chatting to her mother the way she carried on. Finally she slams the phone down and ensures us that the bus will be back in 5 minutes to pick us up.

We race outside to continue waiting when we question on whether the bus driver forgot to pick us up or not. How can he forget when we were in his face waving. Finally we spot the bus who just went around the block coming towards us.

AKROTIRI

Finally we find ourselves sitting on the bus heading to our first destination - Akrotiri. Before I mention the story behind Akrotiri I should explain our tour director - No Neck. I can't remember what her name was but this woman was seriously missing a neck. All you saw was her head planted on a body. I kept looking to see if I can spot the neck hiding somewhere but no there was no neck about. Hence my obessession with Miss no neck grew. I have her on camera for thoses that want to see.

Now a brief history of Akrotiri - Its basically a city that was found in the early 60's which was totally buried under due to the volcano erupting. Now this landspot is a total tourist spot. It's a huge area but according to no neck only 3% of the town was discovered.

Apparently everyone in this town was able to leave the island before the volcano erupted hence no one got buried under except for no neck's neck. Majority of the houses were now buried but several items such as furniture were still visible. However the time we were there; there was quite abit of construction work which meant we couldn't see much of the uncovered places.

After inhaling more dust and dirt it was time to leave. It was also farewell to no neck along the way. The bus stopped in the middle of the road and we practically threw her off the bus for her to only jump onto another bus. Apparently thats what she does. She jumps on one bus to another for a living. Seriously what type of sick person swaps buses in the middle of nowhere.

The bus continued until we reached the new port where we had to catch a boat to the volcano.

Now travelling down the hill during this part was breath taking and also very scary. I was scared the bus was going to tip over the hill. Luckly we maded it to the port and managed to board a boat to the volcano.

SANTORINI VOLCANO

We spent a few minutes travelling on this boat until we reached the volcano. Now this is when we noticed that there is only one pier with about 5 or 6 boats tied to it. The boats were located side by side which meant we had to climb all the boats to actually reach the volcano ground. I'm suprised I didn't slip and fall into the water. From memory there were guys giving you a hand while climbing.

Once we found our feet on the volcano it was amazing. My first time on a volcano - WOW. Now check out the woman that is covered. Look at her! She looks like she owns the volcano. She's wrapped herself up with her designer sunnies. Who does she think she is?

The excitment soon died when I noticed I had to climb to the top of the volcano. Not realising how far this was the mission started. We took regular breaks on the way to have water as it was boiling hot. Each stop ensured that we were getting closer but I swear it felt like a big tease.

Picture this - Climbing from the base of the volcano to the crater in 40 degrees heat. I'm glad I was wearing shorts and a singlet. The passage ways were undirected as the ground only had rocks and gravel which ended up in my shoes and bag.

Along the way I spotted this on the volcano. Someone had written "Christine" on the volcano. Oh my god! Were not the only one's screaming Christine!

During the climb I managed to find a piece of the volcano to take with me back home. If I was bloody going to all this effort I might as well have something to bring back with me. It's not like they are going to serve free coffee at the top of this volcano.

Once we reached the top of the volcano I was practically about to collapse but the view saved me. If you ever go to Santorini you have to climb the top of this volcano. It is seriously amazing. I couldn't believe how beautiful this island was. You see it on getaway and in magazines but actually standing on top of this volcano staring around you is HEAVEN!

We got into a huge hundle as the tour director wanted to explain facts about the volcano. She did it in Greek first and then english. She informed us that they have equipment to monitor and detect when a volcanic eruption will occur. Apparently they know a month in advance hence she tells us that we are safe and the volcano isnt going to erupt. DAMN!

The tour director mentioned that at various spots of the crater, they have dug a few small holes in the ground. If you actually place your hand or finger into the hole you will feel the heat. And yes this is true. I shoved my hand in there and nearly burnt it to death. What the hell was I thinking? Apparently if you place an egg in there it would cook in so many minutes.

Finally we got a warning not to steal too much of the rocks and gravel from the volcano because if every tourist took a handful there would be no volcano left. Nagasaki empty your bag for crying out loud. I saw you take half the volcano in your bag. I dont want to explain to customs what were doing with all thoses rocks.

Like all things, good things come to an end. It was time to make our way down the volcano for our next destination. Trying very hard not to slip and break our hips we managed to climb back onto our boat through the other six.

Next stop was the hot springs which was close to the volcano. We were told to bring swimmers to soak up in the water and chill out. I think we chose this tour due to the hotsprings.

HOT SPRINGS

We arrived to the hot springs when we notice that the boat has stopped quite far from the hot springs. We are told that this is the furthest the boat will go and if we want to soak up in the hot springs we need to jump off the boat. I refuse to jump off the boat thinking that I would probably drown smack bang in the middle of the ocean. Besides I have a huge fear after watching that bloody movie "Open Water" or whatever it was called. The one where the couple go diving and are left behind in the sea. The sharks end up eating them alive.

With Nagasaki nagging about something we soon notice that the water isn't as deep as it looks. However due to our time limits we decide not to jump off and get wet. Instead I go inside to the bar of the boat to buy cokes.

Relaxing on the boat is when we spot like 50 goats charging down the cliff. I watched them in amazment thinking how the hell do they not fall off the cliff. Better still why on earth is there so many goats on a volcano? What do theses animals eat for crying out loud?

I think I had a short nap lying on the boat when I heard half the boat climbing back on board dripping wet. Alarms were ringing to indicate its time to go.

THERISSA

Our next destination was Therissa. Therissa is the other part of Santorini that was separated. The total population of this Island is 250 people. How cool would that be? I suppose people are related to one another. Actually wait relatives would have to marry each other to continue life on this island.

As we pulled into the edge of the Island I fell in love with it. I think this was my favourite part of the day.

This island was awesome. The tour director told us that there was a few resturants located near the port if we didn't want to climb to the top of the Island. The best part is that its 120 steps to the top of the cliff. However the steps are actually around 3 - 4 metres long, so you imagine how exhausting it would be climbing to the top. And no I don't need anymore butt workouts for crying out loud.

We make the best decision and decided to hire a donkey to take us to the top. I actually feel really sorry for theses animals who have to log us up the hill in this heat. Seriously they are slaves and get nothing in return.

So we walk to the stable area where all the donkeys are waiting like prostitutes for their next client. We are waiting for the guy to organise us some donkies when this annoying stupid asian chick who I should have slapped from one end of the stable to the other starts winging. She also wants a donkey. The guy tells her to follow him so that he can give her a donkey when she refuses to step on the ground to walk towards the donkies. The reason was because the ground was filled with donkey shit. However the only way to get to a donkey was stepping on them.

For a minute I wanted to grab a handful of the donkey shit and smash it all over her face. I think by this time the heat was getting to my head so her annoying voice wasn't helping. As if this wasn't enough she starts screaming out " I want a beautiful donkey". I hope the donkey throws her off the cliff and I capture the moment on camera.

Finally the annoying cow walks through the donkey shit and climbs on top of her donkey. I think she gave her bag to one of the guys and started panicing when the donkey was leaving the stable that she didnt have her bag. I was tempted to grab a handful of donkey shit and hide it in her handbag for a suprise "You have shit in your handbag" party. Where do theses fucked up people come from seriously?

After the annoying asian chick we get our donkies. Now Nagasaki's donkey gets tied up to the annoying asian girls donkey, who's donkey is tied up to the tour leaders donkey. What the hell was that about. They had a threesome ride. I was left on my own with just the donkey and me. Thank god. The last thing I needed were thoses two tied up to me.

Following our previous donkey incident where Nagasaki's donkey tried killing us all, this time the tour leader thought we were in some bull race. I think he was mexican who kept screaming his head off. In fact the guy screamed the entire way to the top of the cliff. It's times like this you need ear plugs. I have no idea what the fuckwit was screaming about but I was ready to murder someone.

To add to all of this was the annoying asian chick which someone should have stabbed from the begining to avoid any further interaction with her. The annoying asian chick kept screaming out and waving to her boyfriend who was climbing the stairs to the top. Now I understand why he was climbing. More than 30 seconds with this bitch and your ready to chop your arm off and throw it at her. He did the right thing. I would have walked 120 steps to avoid her.

As if this wasn't enough instead of patting her own donkey she kept reaching out and patting Nagasaki's donkey. I think she had her eye on Nagasaki's donkey. Who doesn't pat their own donkey? I think at one stage Nagasaki was about to strangle both of them. If I wasn't too scared to hold onto my donkey I would have filmed the whole process. I can tell you this much, give Nagasaki another good five minutes with the both of them and she would have commited double murder.

We finally reach the top of the cliff and we both jump off the donkies as fast as we could to get away from both the annoying asian girl and the mexican tour leader. We manage to continue the road by foot. Along the way we past Paramamic resturant where the guy practically attacked us to come eat in his family resturant. I told him we would come back after taking some photos.

Once we reach the top we both realise how breath taking it is. Take a look for yourself:

Note - The balcony of the resturant on the cliff

I seriously couldn't believe how beautiful this place was. I was so glad we decided to climb up to the top of the island now. I would have been so upset realising what we could have missed out on. I think we spent some time admiring the view, taking pictures and breathing in the fresh air. I even took a photo on my phone which is now my wallpaper.

We soon realised we needed food to continue. So we walked into Panoramic Resturant which has a amazing balcony hanging on the cliff facing this view. We decide to plant ourselves on the edge of the balcony staring at the view while having lunch. We ordered our food and ended up with very bad fake Greek salad, bread and an eggplant. This was supposed to feed both of us but it was more like for one.

We decide that we have to make our way down in order to catch the ferry again. Thinking it will be easy going downhill we soon realise its abit of work. We practically collapsed walking down.


Who would have thought that this was going to be so hard. Imagine if we had to do this uphill. Oh my god I think I would have had an asthma attack quater of the way up. It seriously took us like 35 - 40 minutes struggling down the steps. Plus we had to stop for many photo shoots.

When we finally reached the bottom, we ran into the first shop open and grabbed ice cream and water to cool down. I think it's the first time we don't throw ourselves on the postcard racks. We were both dying of the heat. Note no sign of the annoying asian chick.

After a minor relaxation period we had to board our ferry again. Our next destination is Oia, the most famous stop on the Island to watch the sunset.

I think the sunset deserves a separate entry - So coming soon - The Santorini Sunset!

Introducing Thira (Fira)

THIRA - SANTORINI

After a brief sleep in I wake up in hope of a decent shower when I realise there is still no water. Throwing a tantrum, I slip on a shirt and head to reception to abuse someone. The reception guy or woman follows me upstairs to have a look.

He lifts the shower handle and notices that its locked. He unlocks the shower handle and the water comes full speed towards us. This had to be the most embarrasing moments in history. I was lost for words for once. The guy tried making me feel better by saying alot of people have the same question. I couldnt get the guy out of there fast enough. Bloody Nagasaki must have locked it after showering.

Stepping out of the shower, I feel refreshed and clean. OH man I was dying for that shower. I head into the kitchen to make breakfast. I decided to make toast and tea. I had to boil the water in a saucepan and grill the toast. It was a simple process that took me over half an hour. By that time I was over it. I didn't even feel like having breakfast. I miss my Turkey breakfasts.



Feeling adventourous we head to the town centre Thira for the day. We decided that we would spend the day exploring the town. I think we decided that we would eventually do the cable cars down the cliff and the donkeys up the cliff. Feeling petrified by this I decided not to argue and follow.

We hit some shops in the town centre when I decide to buy a necklance. Luckily no one's blood ended up on it this time. Somewhere along the line we brought Cherry's donkey or we discuss buying it and brought it later. Random postcards of Santorini were brought. The problem here was we never felt satisfied with the postcards and ended up buying more and more along the way.

After our random shopping spree we ended up at this cafe in the middle of the town. It was quite packed outside so we assumed it must be good. We ended up buying sandwiches and sitting down in the sun outside the cafe. The sandwiches were big and very filling. The cafe owners were swinging their arms and trying to get peoples attention to come into the cafe for lunch. I think at one stage there was no room left for anyone to sit but they kept insisting people to come into the cafe. They practically watched us eat so that they can ensure we eat quickly and piss off before the next customer came.

CABLE CARS

After lunch it was time to head to the cable cars. This was my worst nightmare. For thoses that know me would know I'm scared of heights. Well what better way to overcome this fear then squeeze into a tiny cable car going down a cliff side.

We pay $3.50 Euros each to ride the cable car down the cliff. We start walking towards a cable car and I'm already packing it. The thought of hanging in the air on this cable car was petrifying. We enter a cable car to only be joined by this American woman with a broken leg. She sat opposite me. I pulled out my video camera thinking if anything happens on this cable car my camera should have evidence of it.

This is when the American woman notices that I'm sweating in fear so she informs me that she's scared of heights as well. How the hell does that help me woman? The least you can do is tell me everything is going to be alright instead of telling me she's scared as hell too.

So the ride begins and at first I can't look because I'm too scared so I'm holding my camera high to record it all. Somewhere along the ride down I get the courage to look out and notice how amazing the scenery around me is. Unable to stop looking I take in the view and forget about my height problem. The cable car reaches the bottom and the American woman leaves us behind.


We jump out of the cable car and I'm quite excited as I survived the trip minus my panic attack and screaming on board. We start walking towards the exit when we notice some woman trying to steal another woman's singlet from her bag. I can't remember what the fuss was about but apparently the woman thought it was her singlet in the other woman's bag. So it was every woman for themselves. Ignoring both of the bitches we head down the stairs to explore.

THE OLD PORT

Picture - This is at the bottom of the cliff ie the Old Port

Above picture - Another view of Old Port

Picture this - Santorini old port, two lunatics seeing a shop nearby what does one do? Immediately throw themselves on the postcard rack and start collecting. As if this wasn't enough we walk next door to another shop to only find ourselves buying more postcards. I think somewhere along the line we agreed to stop buying Santorini postcards but I dont think that stopped us.

THE DONKEY RIDE

Along the way we found the donkey rides where the guy charged us $3.50 Euros each to ride a donkey. The deal was the donkey was supposed to take us to the top. Man we just got to the bottom just to get back up.

Now I have never been on a donkey before and it has been years since I have been on a horse. I think the last time was Ulladulla. So I'm the first to jump on top of this donkey and have no idea whats happening when the donkey starts to storm off. I have no idea how to stop this donkey.
Finally the donkey decides to stop and wait for the other donkies.

Once the other donkies arrived, its full speed in climbing this cliff. I panic as there is no leader and I have no idea how to ride one of theses. It started as a bumpy ride when Nagasaki came shoving my donkey out of the way and shoving me against the wall. The donkey was a complete nutcase trying to shove people off the cliff and god forbid if anyone tried overtaking him he would ensure he had the lead. No other donkeys were allowed to overtake and if anyone dared it would be sucide for them. Trust me I was begging my donkey not to overtake as I was travelling mostly near the cliff side rather than the wall side.

The leading donkey was walking in a zig zag mode and ensuring he was blocking off any other donkeys in the process. At one stage I noticed the donkey shoving this woman and donkey almost over the cliff as he rammed them into the side of the railing. The woman stepped into panic mode and I was disgusted I couldn't get my camera out as this was happening.

Somewhere along the trip, whilst I was getting my tan in this heat the tour leader caught up to us. About bloody time man! He was going to leave us to die here. For some reason the donkeys were calmer now and we were unable to pull out our cameras and take happy snaps. I remember trying so hard not to drop the camera.

As we approached the top of the cliff Nagasaki's donkey caused a huge commotion. I think some donkey overtook him so the two psycho's decided to teach the other donkey a lesson by shoving him against other donkies. I remember the screaming and yelling but was too busy trying to find a stop for my donkey to park.

This was one hell of an experience. I think my face was burnt. Before we got off the donkies we asked some random guy to take a photo of us with my camera. The bastard couldn't take the photo and some how ended up switching it from photo mode to camera mode. So all we got was a 10 sec clip of us looking lost. Theses inconsiderate pricks that don't know how to take a fuckin photo.

Feeling the need to shop we threw ourselves into the closest shop and yes now I remember this is where we brought Cherry's donkey. May she be with that donkey for good times and bad times. Oh more postcards were brought too....

Before we hit another postcard rack we decide we should check out Perissa Beach, which is famous for it's black sand in Santorini. Apparently the black sand is due to the presence of the famous Volcano.

We find our way to the bus stop and decide to make a pit stop just before boarding the bus. We find the toilet and the minute I enter I realise its one of thoses squatting holes. Turning to my left I see the bus windows from the toilet window. To my luck there was no one on the bus otherwise I could have put on a show.

PERISSA BEACH



We stroll onto the bus and after a short bus trip, we arrive at Perissa Beach. Now words can not describe this place. This place was amazing. We split up to walk across the beach and take our photos and enjoy the views. I immediately notice the black sand and point my camera to it.
It's a peaceful atmosphere and I notice several people on the beach reading a book and sleeping. There isn't much commotion going on and it seems every one here wants to simply chill out.

We spend the next 10 minutes taking photos in every position you can think of. Before we start taking photo's of dogs. Hence this became an obessession. We have god knows how many photos of dogs. I could have a dog calendar for the next 7 years if I wanted to.

We decided to walk abit further from the beach towards the Aegean Church, well known for its blue domes. After about 15 photo shots we decide to take photos of this tiny house hidden up in the mountains on a cliff. I have no idea how anyone could live there or how they would access the house but hey it looks good from here.

After the photo shoot we decide to grab some lunch - about time. I'm suprised we haven't eaten yet. We stroll towards all the resturants only to be totally disgusted by the prices so we throw ourselves into the nearest pita/kebab shop. With a few bucks we score a pita roll only for me to give half of it to a dog staring at me. I felt sorry for him ok. He had a cute look and looked like he was starving.

We decided to run when we saw a bus coming towards the beach thinking it's our bus only to notice it's a tour bus up close and personal. The problem was if we missed the next bus to town we would be stuck out here for the next few hours. Since this wasn't our bus we decided to go buy some more postcards and a drink to cool down with. Walking back to the bus stop we notice that the tour bus has suddently turned into our town bus. We bolted like lunatics to throw ourselves onto this bus before it departed. We just managed to climb on when the doors swung close behind us. Man why do we always have to do theses stunts.

I think by this time we were both exhausted and was looking towards a noice shower. When we slowly approached the apartment we immediately noticed that our apartment door was wide open. We immediately threw ourselves in panic mode, thinking that we forgot to lock the door and now someone has broken in and robbed us.

We storm up the stairs towards our apartment when I have to slam on my brakes just as I am about to knock the cleaning lady smack bang into the wall. There was a huge tension between the cleaning lady and me. I think she thought I was about to slam her over the balcony, well I was but thats not the point. We feel releaved that we didnt get robbed and it was this stupid cleaning woman who for some reason decided to clean our room at 5 or 6pm. Like who the hell waits until 5pm to clean the room. Its not like there is 50 apartments here. I think theres like 4 in total. We settle in the apartment while the cleaner smiles at us.

Now this is my favourite bit. All of a sudden I hear a mad panic in the next room, not knowing what the hell is going on I dash into the bedroom and find out that the laundry we hung up this morning has been blown over the balcony. Checking my laundry I realise all my clothes are here and this is when we realise that Nagasaki's underpants have gone overboard. In a mad panic Nagasaki storms off nearly tumbling over the cleaner. The cleaner must think we are totally lunatics trying to run into her.

The cleaner walks into the room while I'm standing on the balcony trying to make sense of whats happening when it occurs to me that maybe the cleaner picked up the underpants. So I approach her and try asking her if she has taken the underpants inside when she gives me a disgusted look. I can barely speak Greek and she can't speak english so I was trying to use sign language and showed her another pair of underpants. I think she thought that I wanted her to take off her underpants. She replied "No No No" and stormed out of the room as fast as she could.

So I did the next best thing. I pulled out my camera and started filming. I started zooming in to try and locate the missing underpants when the guy staying 2 apartments down from me noticed and said Hi to me. For some reason I told him I was looking for red underpants and our conversation suddenly died there. I really should have asked him if he saw any red underpants.

Meanwhile Nagasaki is picking up bits and pieces off the dirt in the yards of the apartment while I'm filming. All I hear is "Stop filming or I'm going to rib your balls off". Some people just don't like me helping them. Here I am, going out of my way to try and find the missing red underpants and I don't even get a thank you.

In conclusion the missing red underpants never got found, so we assumed some dog picked it up to sleep with or the old guy downstairs thought it was christmas at once and is smooching it now.

Moral of the story - Don't take off your underpants in Santorini....

I'm actually laughing about this as I'm writing it. Nagasaki storms back into the room when the cleaner decides to drag us into the bathroom together. For a moment I thought she was going to complain that I was hitting on her when I wasn't. I just wanted the red underpants. The cleaner started pointing to towels and the ground. I think she was telling us off for making a mess. This all came about whenI wore my thongs on top of the towel we had on the ground. I think because the towel had black marks on it she was complaining. We agreeed not to do what ever she was on about, I still don't know mind you. The cleaner leaves and we question whether or not she told the red underpants as spite. What type of a sick person would steal someone elses red underpants for spite?

After the missing red underpants commotion we both realise we need a nap to recover. We have a short nap before we book for the Santorini tour tomorrow. Its an all day tour which we get to climb on top of a volcano. Meanwhile Nagasaki manages to get all the photos from the digital camera burnt to a CD. Should I dare ask what special favours were undertaken here?

Feeling hungry we ask the owners in reception for a recomendation for a good resturant. They tell us to try El Greco. So we go in search of the resturant. We have a noice meal and do a few laps around town to notice that tart again in front of the "Strip" club. We decide to film her this time. So I pull out my camera only to notice that she has caught on to our game and is trying to hide. Everything time I took a picture I would get her back. Feeling exhausted we give up and decide to head back to the apartment to rest before tomorrow tour. But not before buying more postcards along the way.

One finally stop for the night was outside a honey puff store. Now for thoses that know honey puffs are quite small fried pieces of dough slaughted in honey. We paid $10 for 6 honey puffs only to find the honey puffs to be gigantic. It was impossible to fit one whole honey puff into your mouth. Back at the apartment, we take a bite each for me only to almost vomit it back out. They weren't cooked probably and were almost raw. We threw the tray into the bin and jumped into bed.

Thinking of the day ahead I quickly fell asleep...

I'm in Santorini - A year later

The plane lands and we found ourselves waiting in the arrivals area with no transfer. Thinking the guy is running late we decide to wait. We walk outside and continue our search for the transfer guy. No sign of him what so ever.

It still doesnt hit us that we have been stood up. We continue to wait for him while I burst into laughter about something and spray water all over myself and our bags. I look around to only see a handful of people.

Meanwhile this lunatic dog comes charging at us, barking his head off ready to attack someone. I didn't know if I should run or stay put and block him off with the suitcases. Behind us is some woman who is a cleaner. She screams at him and somehow the dog bites onto her glove and runs off with it, with a grin on his face.

After about half an hour we realise that we are stranded at the airport. The best part we don't have the apartment address as we booked everything online including the transfer. All we know is that its Nikos Apartments.

So we search through the papers to discover a name. The number of the travel agency. So I storm in side to call this number. Luckly we had a greek phone card with us. I call the number only to reach an answering machine. So I leave a message in some hope.

We then realise we need back up -Plan B. We message a person in Sydney who I don't even know realising its early in the morning in Sydney. We ask this person to jump online and research a phone number for Nikos Apartments. We practically get an instant reply. God who is this person? I need him for emergencies. So this guy messaged a phone number to us and we rush inside to call it.

Some guy picks up the phone and confirms that we have called Nikos Apartments after we question him on it. We demand to know why our transfer isn't here and the guy seems lost and confused. He doesn't know what we are on about. We give him our details and he stilll has no clue to what we are on about. Apparently the person in charge of internet booking isn't at work today and could be the reason why we are stranded at the airport. He tells us to call back in 5 minutes when he tries to search for our details and organise a transfer.

While waiting like two homeless people we receive another sms from sydney stating that the number he gave us previously was actually incorrect. So he gives us another number. Now this is where we get confused on whats happening. We decide to call the previous number since the guy confirmed that it was Nikos Apartments to see whats happening. We call the guy up again and I have no idea whats happening as I'm standing there helplessly. Apparently the guy tells us that he has organised a taxi for our transfer. We try to re-confirm all our details when we find out that there is no KIKI (The woman who told our booking) or any record of us there. Then we found out that this isnt actually NIKOS APARTMENTS BUT NIKOS VILLIAS.

This is when the guy starts yelling his head off that we need to pay for the taxi he sent out to us since we didnt have a booking with his hotel. So what do we do? Slam the phone in his face. It just occurred to me that this guy has my name and will probably blacklist me from Santorini. We owe him for the taxi! Bloody KIKI.

We call the second number our mystery contact gave us from Sydney to only realise its the same number we had ie the travel agent. So we decide to give up with the phone and head to the taxi rank. We approach a taxi driver and tell him that we want to go to NIKOS APARTMENTS but have no address only what our friend has smsed to us.

The taxi driver storms off and tries confirming this with another taxi driver. We overhear part of the conversation something about the apartment being on a cliff top. We interrupt and tell him its not on a cliff top. We actually wanted to stay on a cliff top but then realised we would be paying five times as much.

The taxi driver ignores anything we say and shoves our luggage into the taxi. We quickly jump into the cab in hope of finding our apartment. After a short trip, which we went up a hill and reached a cliff top the taxi driver states we have arrived. We both stare out the window knowing that this isnt the place we booked. Nagasaki steps into panic mode and starts yelling dont unload the luggage until we check with reception.

I slam the taxi door open and rush inside to ask the guy standing behind reception. The guy who could barely speak english is actually quite helpful. We realise that this is the wrong place. We stand there for a moment when both the greek guys start a conversation in Greek. The hotel owner gives the taxi driver directions on where our apartment is.

By this time we are ready to strangle someone. We told the guy that this place wasn't on the cliff top yet again he insisted it was and brang us here.

After another 5 minute cab ride we pull into the right apartment block. We instantly see the sign NIKOS apartments and the place looks like the one on the internet. However we do confirm with reception that this is our place. We question on where our transfer was and the guy informs us that KIKI isn't working today. The bitch took a day off work.

Feeling frustrated we collect our room key and get lead to our room which is on the second level. The thing is our apartment is on top of their office and a bike shop. There is no elevators to be seen. Only stairs that wrap around. This old guy decides to help us carry our luggage upstairs not realising how heavy someones suitcase is. The poor guy was about to die carrying this suitcase up the stairs. I felt so bad for him. Imagine my grandfather trying to carry this suitcase. No old guy should be going through this.

When we finally reach the room and dump our luggage it was time to reward the old guy with a tip well it didnt quite happen. The woman who came upstairs with us started explaining something about the lock and key and how it all works when Nagasaki slams the door in their face without a tip. Like what the? After what this man went through carrying the suitcase up thoses flights of stairs all he got was a door slammed smack bang into his face. I'm suprised his hand didnt get jammed into the door when the door got slammed into his face. It was an instant reaction that left this poor man without a tip. What kind of a sick person doesn't tip?

After this whole tip mess we decided we needed some food. Hence the sightseeing of town began. With minor directions from the reception woman we headed out in search of anything to eat. The town wasn't that far from where we were staying. We started walking towards the town centre when we came across a phone box. Within moments we ran to it like lunatics and dialed Cherry's number. With all this frusturation building something had to give and what better way then screaming and abusing Cherry!

We both felt satisfied by this and located a noice resturant within the town centre. We rushed inside to have one of the best meals on this trip. The food was actually quite noice. Actaully I don't even remember what I ate but it was good. I think it was souvalaki.

After our meal it was time to check out the town. We noticed many souvenier shops and bars throughout the town. We both knew we would hit them over and over again in the next few days in hope of collecting postcards.

We walk past this bar that has a tart dancing in the door way trying to convince people to go inside. For a minute I thought it was a strip joint. The door was like her pole. Someone should shove that door where it belongs! Note - later we try and get her picture.

We decide that we've had to much excitment for one day and decide to buy some groceries before heading back to the apartment. I remember thinking wow I'm in Santorini at the time.

Back at the apartment Nagasaki jumps into the shower while I relax. Our room didnt have a TV so I had to amuse myself. Ok not in that way you sick people!

I decide to have a shower before heading to bed. I walk into the bathroom to realise that there are no curtains in the bathroom. I had to pratically climb over a huge bathtub to find myself in this shower. I open the tap to realise there is no water. OMG my worst nightmare. I need a shower badly after everything today and now there's no fuckin water. I storm our screaming my head off you've finished the water, there's no fuckin water, I need water!

We both head into the bathroom to try again and once again not a drop of water. This was weird. There was water 5 minutes ago but now theres nothing. Thinking we will have water in the morning I decide to shower in the morning instead and head to bed.

Hola! Were back in Athens

Before I go on, I need to explain something. One of our missions on this trip was to avoid Athens because some inconsiderate person doesn't like Athens. Hence the reason why we decided to travel on our own rather than join a tour. All the tours depart from Athens and we would have to at least spend a night in Athens.

To cut a long argument short, we soon realised we had to fly to Athens to get to Santorini from Rhodes as there was no direct ferries. Hence we failed the mission to escape Athens. Funny enough we had to fly to Athens twice just to avoid it. The second time is later in the trip when we leave Mykonos. I'll eventually get there.

After a short trip to Athens on the plane, majority of the passangers were concerned they would miss their connecting flight. We were in the same situation. Because we left Rhodes late, we arrived in Athens late. For some reason this always happens in Greece. So our planes about to land when the old guy sitting near the window prepares himself. As soon as the plane lands this guy jumps up and throws his massive body onto us, stepping on our feet to climb over us before the plane comes to a complete stop.

With a bit of commotion Nagasaki slams him back down with the gym bag and we storm off the plane. It's another mad marathon race to the connecting flight gate where security stops me again due to the asthma machine.

Finally I pass through the security check and reach Nagasaki who is waiting in front of a counter for some assistance. No one is behind the counter and we spend 5 minutes arguing over where we are supposed to line up. Next thing we know, we see a huge crowd standing behind us in a line. It seems they thought we were the head of the line. We somehow started a queue without realising what was going on. Boarding time comes and the two people behind us push their way through to the front. We manage to bitch about them and they decide to back off realising we can get nasty.

We walk out to catch a bus to our plane again. We arrive outside some tiny plane where I have a stress attack on the size. YES SIZE MATTERS. Its all a flashback to me now of our plane trip from Mykonos to Athens in 2004 when it was a similar plane and I didnt want to go on it.

We enter this plane and each side of the plane only has 2 seats to it. We stroll down and I notice that the storage space above our seats are filled so I put my hand luggage a few seats down and manage to take up all the room.

Were sitting there and I'm about to faint from lack of air on this tiny plane. Yes I have tiny plane in my head. Thank god the following happens to take my mind off things.

This woman enters the plane carrying a hand luggage. She opens up the storage compartment above her seat only to see my luggage tightly in there. She slams it shut and turns around to check if the storage compartment across her is empty. To her luck its empty so she proceeds to lift her hand luggage into the storage compartment when she somehow looses grip and drops the suitcase right smack bang onto some womans head whos sitting in her seat.

The woman quickly grabs her luggage and shoves it on the ground while trying to rub the woman's head who just got smacked on the head. Now the woman sitting in her seat that got smacked has huge afro hair. So all we see is this woman shoving her hand in there and losing it.

Due to her panic she accidently pushes the woman by the hair into the seat in front almost causing a second hit. For a minute it was like a DJ spinning his records. It was at this point that I nearly burst out laughing. It was like someone had hit my funny bone. I wasnt expecting to laugh but I was about to start and I couldnt stop. The problem - were in a tiny plane and any laughter would cause a huge scene. And you know what it only takes one of us to laugh in order to encourage the other. So were both sitting there shaking so badly trying not to laugh. This is when Nagasaki slams the face against the window to avoid laughing.

I think it took us half the plane trip to settle. By that time we had landed. As you can see the laughing fits are getting worst and worst.

WELCOME TO SANTORINI........

Leaving Rhodes

It's the morning we are going to Santorini. I manage to drag out of bed half asleep and a sore throat. We storm into the breakfast hall and I grab some tea and honey. This then leads into a tea/honey operation. We decide we need to stack up on tea and honey as Im suffering here. We take turns in pocketing the items and get caught up in the moment that we take butter for the hell of it as well. I can't remember the final count but they took up a huge spot in my suitcase.

After smuggling the goods into our room, we decide to take the morning easy and relax by watching TV. We still had a while to check out. This is when some auction antique show comes on TV. We decide to watch the bloody show only to end up laughing in tears.

This cow rocks up to evaluate her painting. Standing there looking like she's about to hit jackpot I ask "Do you reckon she stole that painting?". The response I get "The slut probably slit someone's throat to steal that painting"... No comment! I'm on the floor laughing...

This only gets better. Another woman rocks up with some item which her best friend gave her on her death bed. The item is worth a few thousand pounds. When the woman finds out she gets extremely happy. They ask her whether she is willing to part with the item and before the guy finishes asking she screams yes. Like this is supposed to be something sentemental to her. Its from her best friend - like what the ?

As much as we loved this show we had to finish packing up to check out. But before we leave...
One last revenge session for our neighbours. We started banging the doors again to wake them up before running out of the room laughing.

So we leave our luggage with reception and decide to wander around shopping for the next few hours before we head to the airport. Along the way we decide to get our photos burn to a CD. Hence the problems start. The previous day we found a few shops that actually did this. We walked into this old bags shop and asked if she could do it. Even though we knew she had no idea on how to use a computer, she told us she could.

So here we are standing in that old bags shop again with our memory sticks. She shoves the memory stick into one of thoses kodak do it yourself machine. Now how hard can it be to burn it to CD as you only have a few options. This woman some how manages to screw up the operation and then claim that she can't do it with our memory stick. Apparently she has never had this problem and its our memory sticks that don't work. Then she claims it's her son's machine and that we shouldn't force it incase we break the bloody thing.

She then has the nerve to direct us to her husbands internet cafe or something. So we just storm out of her shop and enter the first photo camera place we see. Luckly they manage to do it here for us. It only takes them like half an hour and in that time we discover the Rhodes Casino.

By this time it was time to hit a cafe for lunch. So we discover this joint where you basically order your food over the counter and then either you hit the salad bar and pick what you want or you order food such as steaks and burgers to which they have to make on the spot. This is when we discover the chef nazi. I swear this is a scene out of seinfeld with the soup nazi. The chef nazi has a ordering process to which we had no idea of.

His screaming his head off at everyone in Greek. We reach the chef to order burgers and the next thing we know he screams at us that we should pay at the counter now. Anyone that approached him to order got screamed at to pay at the register. This was actually quite funny. Trust us to find this lunatic.

After ordering the food we didnt know whether we should take a seat or wait at the counter. So we chose to avoid the counter due to this psycho chef and found a table to settle down in. From memory the burger wasn't too bad for Greek Style.

After lunch we decide to head back to the hotel but not before I buy a Rhodes handbook. I have a habit of collecting books on places I travel to and you know what I never read them. Its quite funny because when I travelled Europe in 2004, I have tones of theses books and my luggage was always heavy because of them.

We arrive at the hotel to pick up our luggage and to organise a cab to the airport. We ask the woman to call us a cab and confirm how much it will cost. She picks up the phone to call and we plant ourselves on seats near the reception. Now note the last question we asked was "How much is the cab?"

While were sitting, she's still on the phone when she screams out to us 285. We stare at her like what the f...? She repeats 285! Were in complete shock, thinking $285 Euros to get to an airport. How is that possible. Thats like $600 AU. We reply saying 285? She must notice that were panicing at this stage so she responds your cab number is 285. Now that makes sense. The bitch nearly gave us a heart attack.

We race outside to wait for our 285 cab. Finally a cab pulls into the hotel. We immediately confirm the price with the cab driver before jumping in. He confirms its $15 Euros. Feeling satisfied with this price we jump in. Its a final farewell to Rhodes. It was good while it lasted.

We arrive at the airport to notice that we are way too early and no check in counter is open for us. So we decide to sit down and wait on the left hand side. Meanwhile I race to the information desk to ask them about our check in counter when the information desk tells me to go ask one of the security guards. Like what the hell? Your information desk woman. Your supposed to tell me theses things.

Anyway we soon realise that we are in the wrong area. Were actually sitting in the domestic side of the airport where as we need to be in the international side. The side we were on is to fly to other islands. Since we were going to Athens to swap planes to Santorini, we had to move to the other side.

When the check in counter opens we storm over with our 15 bags to line up in this jumbled up queue. We unload our luggage into the security xray machine when a woman starts yelling something about one of my hand luggages. She pulls me aside, so I try to explain to her that its actually my asthma machine. I'm about to open the bag to show her when she shoves me out of the way and unzips my bag. She starts searching through it madly. Next thing I know she starts pulling random stuff out of it and tossing it aside. This is when I get concerned realising that I have 2 vodka bottles in there and she can smash them any minute. Finally she stopped rampaging my bag. For a minute I thought she was going to start sniffing my bag as well. That was one hell of a security check.

After my security excitment we line up to check in. So were standing in the only line open to get our luggage weigh.The woman behind the counter notices the huge queue and is starting to get annoyed since were quickly reaching boarding time. This is when we notice that the couple in front of us had more than 20kgs for their suitcase. The woman behind the counter decides to charge them for the extra kgs. This is when we start to panic as we know that our luggage is close to 30kgs each.

Luckly at that time a new counter opens and seeing as we are the next to be served, I get pushed and shoved into the new counter. We slam our suitcases on the machine and the woman barely even looks at them. She passes our boarding tickets to us and we race off. Its every man for himself at this stage. The plane's about to board and we need to find our gate quick smart. This is when we realise we have no boarding gate AGAIN!

So were like lost puppies trying to find this boarding gate. Were panicing and theses vodka bottles are starting to get heavy. Soon they annouce our boarding gate and we storm across to it, practically throw our tickets at the collector and board the plane to Athens.

Eastlanders - Psycho Cherry look a like

Were back at the hotel and I find myself lying in bed, popping pills again. We decide to watch TV. Hence this British Show - Eastlanders (I Think thats what its called from memory) is showing. This is when I get excited. This psycho chick is running around with an axe after people. She some how manages to bury someone which she accidently killed and has totally lost the plot. Aka Reminds me of my Cherry!!!

I decide to pull out my camera and film half the show. Cherry you have to watch this. This then leads into a laughing fit on possible storylines for Cherry! Cherry I would be scared!

While watching the show we hear something explode next door. We both jump out of bed and head to the wall to listen. The people staying in the next room are banging doors for no reason. We open our wardrobe and we can totally hear their conversation. I think the couple are having a fight over something and the guy is slamming doors and what ever he can get into his hands.

We decide to join in the rampage. We start slamming the clothes hangers against one another, slamming the wardrobe door a thousand times, slamming the hallway door open and close and sliding the balcony door open and shut.

All this slamming has taken alot out of me. I worm my way into bed at 10pm and find myself asleep....

A day in Rhodes

We struggle out of bed this morning with no feeling what so ever in our feet. After showering, we stroll downstairs to the breakfast hall and plant ourselves in the first seat we find. I think this is the only time we don't argue on where to sit. Wait I spoke to early. After sitting down we realise we should choose an area to sit where we can smuggle some food into our bags for lunch. Without saying a word, we both jump up and find a table in some deserted corner. The food smuggling operation begins. We take Jam, Cakes, Cookies and enough to make sandwiches. I think we have smuggled enough into our bags to last for a week. The funny part was I saw the people sitting near us smuggling as well. Looks like we are not the only ones.

After breakfast we prepare our bags for Butterfly Valley. Our research indicated that this place was a top tourist spot in Rhodes. At the time I thought this was a great idea but then realised there are more moths than butterflies in the valley.

We start walking to the nearest bus stop, after some assistance from the receptionist at the hotel. The plan is to catch the bus to Butterfly Valley. We spot a bunch of 60 year old, Old bags standing and waiting for a bus. We approach them and question on whether they are catching a bus to Butterfly Valley here. They inform us that they are and this is the bus stop for it. So we stand there waiting for the bus whilst taking random photos of the scene.

We then notice that there isn't a sign stating bus stop. Nagasaki walks up like 15 to 20 metres while I continue to wait with the old bags. In a mad panic, we are then informed that the bus stop is actually further up. Trying to grab all our gear to rush over to the bus stop, the old bags get caught up in the commotion as well. Soon its every man or woman for themselves. One bitch blocks our way as we are trying to overtake and approach the bus stop before the bus drives past.

We manage to flag down a bus and ask if it's going to Butterfly valley. The driver tells us he is so we jump on board and pay our 7 Euros for the trip. The old bags decide to follow us. God now we have groupies following us. What do they think we are - Tour directors. Next thing we know they will want us to explain Butterfly valley to them step by step.

We stand on the bus for 30mins before the bus pulls into the Butterfly valley car park. This is when we realise we are in woop woop. Out in the middle of no where with theses old bags. God can life get anymore interesting.

We jump off the bus and race to the entrance trying to loose the old bags. At our speed we succeed. We line up in a queue and slam 5 Euro's across for an entrance ticket. I spin around to spot the old bags behind us mumbling something. We stroll into this beautiful valley filled with butterflies well moths. We follow the path as we split up to take photos of the scenery around us.

Feeling intruiged by it all I manage to bump into the old bags again where they ask me to take their photo. For a minute I was tempted to take it with my camera to have evidence.

Watching the butterflies we suddenly spot a goat charging towards us down a steep hill. He stops somewhere between us and a tree and starts peeing.

We start screaming to each other to film the process. Its bad enough we have dog porn but now we should have a peeing goat on camera.

I think we manage to miss the peeing session, thank god.

We continue wandering around the Valley. I wish someone would have told me that this was going to be one big hiking event. We spend a few hours walking around this valley. I think we manage to take half a memory stick of photo's. Realising that we need to sit down for a siesta we head over to find a spot to settle down in. We pull out our breakfast hamper we have so proudly managed to pack this morning. I think I chew on about 4 slices of cake before realising im about to throw up from cake overdose.

After our beautiful lunch near the carpark we decide to head to the gift shop. We storm in, collecting postcards. I don't think we brought that many this time. We stop for a pitstop before I decide to call home. A brief phone call to Sydney and I realise I miss my family.

We decide to race to the carpark early before the bus arrives. The thing is there are only a few buses a day here. So if you miss the bus back you end up waiting like 4 hours for the next one unless you want to try and find a cab.

Sitting at the car park we suddenly spot the carpark nazi. Blowing his whistle he storms across the carpark screaming and yelling his head off at people trying to park in a particular car spot. The carpark nazi makes several cars pull out of the spot and park else where. This continues for quite a while when suddenly the carpark nazi disappears. We notice in his absent some car manages to park in that car spot and leave without the carpark nazi seeing it.

Soon we notice the bus approaching the car park when the entire group of people waiting for the bus race towards it. It's almost like the stocktake sale at Myer on boxing day. Slight problem - the bus was trying to do a U-turn and nearly squashed half the people to death in the process.

When the bus managed to stop, we knew we had to push and shove to get on this bus as there was limited seats to sit down in. Both of us knew we couldnt handle the thought of standing for another 30 minutes on this bus. I followed the leader and got practically hammered in the process. We managed to climb onto the bus within the crowd and plant our butts on a seat. Thank god!

We were admiring the view from our bus window when we hear a huge commotion in a few seats in front of us. I manage to overhear the whole commotion about a family arguing over a green apple, which they are passing around within themselves. They were a Turkish family. The situation was the mother and daughter were arguing over who brought the green apple. The mother was arguing she paid for it when the daughter insisted she paid for it. The commotion started when the grandson wanted to eat the apple but his grandfather had already eaten half the apple. The entire bus was staring at these lunatics yelling at each other. I was biting my lip not to laugh at them. Like for fucks sake, which family argues over a green apple. Who only buys one apple when there's like 5 of them. We continued to watch them and then the mother finally pulls out a red apple from her bag and gives it to her grandson. Before the grandson reaches for it, his mother grabs it and takes a bite. What fucken morons.

This is when the phone rings and we realise its Roland from work. Thinking its work related his actually after his mother. Do we look like your mother's keeper? I'm sure that 2 minute conversation where his searching for his mother cost abit!

We jump off the bus near the main road, outside some huge hotel. I state if we ever come back we should stay there. Looking at the hotel, I think we would pay three times as much. Feeling stressed out from the bus commotion we head to the nearest phone booth. We start dialing numbers and make a few prank calls to people in Sydney. I don't remember who we called but it was good stress relief at the time. Thanx Cherry!

Walking back to the hotel we finally crack when we spot a postcard rack. The tension has been building up since yesterday. We have been eyeing many postcards but refusing to buy any because we thought they were too expensive. The cheapest postcards we saw were 20 cents but they were too fake. I think they were printed on dodgy paper and the pictures looked disgusting.

I don't think we said anything to each other but threw ourselves on that postcard rack like they were the last ones left on this Island. We collected about 20 postcards each and stormed to the cash register without considering the cost of them. This was bound to happen!

This postcard rampage definately made me feel better. We strolled back to the hotel to dump all our gear before heading back out to the beach. This is when our laughing fits start to get out of hand. I don't know if anyone else has this problem but you know there is always one close person to you and all you have to do is look at them and you burst out laughing. The worst part its always at the most improper moment.

So were near reception waiting for the elevator when this couple is standing behind us. Now we were looking at the notice board which showed the Island highlights. When we swing around what do we see? A typical rock star junkie guy with long straight hair more like a overused mop. Hence - this guy looked like the guy on the british tv show Eastlanders who looked like the Weeded woman. Were both biting onto our lips not to burst out laughing, we avoid any possible eye contact with each other as well as the freaky guy. The elevator doors push open and we all step in. Its actually beyond me why we went into the lift knowing that we are about to burst out laughing. Were standing in the lift, I'm staring at my shoes and about to bite my entire lip off.

It was the longest elevator trip in history. I'm dying there thinking hurry up, we need to get off before I burst up laughing. I take a small glance look at the guy again, only to practically start choking. The minute thoses elevator doors slam open on our floor, we both stormed out without saying anything to each other and totally start bursting into laughter. We hear the lift doors close behind us and know that the couple are getting off one floor above. They must have heard us laughing our asses off. They must be thinking what the hell we are laughing at.

We make a mad run for the room, while laughing so hard slamming ourselves on the walls in the hallway. I struggle to get the key out and open the door. We manage to open the door and throw ourselves in the room. We spent the next 10 minutes pissing ourselves from laughter. We laughed so bad that I think some of my organs were about to come out. We collapsed onto our beds and laughed until we felt sick. I really needed my asthma spare by this time.

Lying on our beds, we nearly past out from feeling exhausted by the laughter when the phone rang. It was the reception bitch. Apparently the electrian was here to fix our lamp/air-con problem. We told her to send him up in 5 minutes.

We grab our beach gear and head out the hotel to the beach across from the hotel. We walk across the road and manage not to get run over by the bikes and plant ourselves down on some chairs. The beach nazi strolls over and collects money for the chairs that we are lying on.

We look around to see alot of old naked people. For a minute I thought this was a nude beach. This is when some grandmother plants herself in the chair in front of us. She then proceeds to do the full monty. Like gross. We pretend to ignore the situation and sleep.

We wake up to find some prick has been planting notes on my chair under my leg some how while I was relaxing and sleeping. We read the flyer which is advertising an all you can eat buffet across the beach. Thinking this place has over 30 dishes, we agree to go there for dinner.

Feeling hungry and the fact the wind at the beach getting stonger we decide to pack up and head back to our hotel. Were walking back and I start to feel this sick feeling in my stomach.

We open our room door to only reveal a bunch of electrical crap scattered everywhere. Bits of paint had chipped off the walls, screws were rolling around and electrian tools were left behind in the room. For a minute it was like a construction site with no warning tape. This is when we noticed we had no electricity as well. So much for fixing the problem. We were in a bigger mess than before.

So we storm downstairs to the reception bitch to complain about the status of our room. She follows us to our room to see for herself. We tell her to fix the bloody problem and she panics at the thought of cleaning the electrians shit. We pack the tools up and hand them over to her and she storms out to avoid cleaning. We kick the chipped paint bits under the beds and I jump into bed trying to sleep. The sick feeling is starting to get worst. I'm trying to sleep and all I can hear is noise from the room next to us. They were slamming doors and speaking loudly. This is when I realise that the rooms next to us must have heard our laughing fits.

I wake up with some kind of sore throat. I head start to my pills. Pop as many as I can. We manage to walk to the buffet resturant. Now the flyer states 30 dishes, theses people claim a plate of feta cheese as one, a plate of tomatos as one, a plate of olives as one etc.. This was the worst meal in history. Everything was oversalted so that people would spend money buying drinks which was half the price of this dinner. This made me feel even more sick. We turn to our right to notice that the sun is about to set so we ask the waiter for the bill.

We panic that we should film the sunset before its too late. The waiter brings out a tray with free drinks for us instead of the bill. We reach and grab the drinks and wash down the oversalted food. By this time we realise we need to start filming so one of us decides to run out while the other one waits for the bill. Of course I wait for the bill while someone runs like a lunatic across the road nearly been chewed under a car. Fascinated by the sudden escape, half the resturant jumps up with their cameras and storms out of the resturant towards the beach. Its like there was a bomb threat. People couldnt leave the resturant fast enough.

The fucken bill comes and I slam like 10 Euros on the table and follow to take photos of the sunset.

We return to our room to pack for tomorrow. I realise that I really should buy a hang carry bag rather than dumping everything in a plastic bag. We leave the hotel and walk across the street to all the shops. We enter a shop where we notice a disel carry bag on top of a shelf. We spend the next few minutes aruging about the size of the bag. Yes size matters in this case.

During our argument the shop keeper storms her way in to break up the commotion in her store. She pulls down the bag and agressively rips the plastic off it. Next thing we know this woman goes totally psycho, digging out the paper crap in the bag. She's so caught up in the moment we starts tossing the shit out of the bag onto us.

It's like someone is searching for hidden gold in the ground by digging up the dirt. The woman throws the pieces around while we dodge to avoid being hit with it. She then passes the bag over to us to look at. After the fuss and commotion she caused we decided to buy the bag and leave the store. We spend the next 5 minutes in front of the store trying to get her photo. Seriously normal people don't act like her. Its like a homeless person searching a bin for food. She couldnt wait to get the crap out.