LEURA & THE 3 SISTERS

I don’t remember how the hell I got out of bed this morning, as the hang over was quite annoying. It was another nice sleep in before heading to the shower to recover and question the night before. Walking out of the shower I had a quick glance outside to notice the weather still pretty crap but at least the fog wasn’t there. Once we had breakfast and watched a few more episodes of Golden Girls it was time to explore.

We headed to the town of Leura where we noticed a huge market thing. Thinking this was similar to Glebe markets we parked the car and practically raced to the markets to only end up seeing this:

Picture - The Markets @ Leura

There was a total of 10 stores inside this house. We walked in and had to rush out as we dropped an item and nearly broke it in there. We wandered around to find an appropriate place to have soup. Everywhere was totally packed. We finally found a restaurant that we could grab some lunch at.

Before heading off to see more sights we decided to check out this store which I figure the house owner "Eileen" owns. Half the crap in this antique shop was in Eileen’s house. I figure she stocks half of the items in her house as a show house.

We drove around several lookouts and I think they all started looking the same to me. At one lookout I noticed some sun and got pretty excited. Walking back to the car we looked at a car that looked like mine but wasn’t mine. We were arguing why my car looks grey all of a sudden. When we got closer we realized that it actually wasn’t my car.

Picture - Bushland @ BM

Picture - Mountain Views

Picture - I see sunlight @ the mountains

Picture - Bus stop at one of the lookouts

We headed back to Echo Point, which is practically a 2 minutes drive from our cottage. We started walking to see the 3 sisters when we spotted theses Asians. Now I’m totally convinced theses Asians are on drugs. No one can walk around like that in this freezing cold seriously. Its like minus 10 degrees and look at what the lunatics are actually wearing.

Picture Above & Below - Asians on drugs

We spent 5 minutes taking photos of the 3 sisters when we froze to death. We quickly raced back into the closest shopping center to have coffee. At the coffee shop we ordered HOT coffee with fresh scones served with jam and cream. God writing that now makes me feel like scones now.

Pictures- The 3 Sisters

While ordering the coffee I noticed the water bottles in the fridge labeled "LVS". I practically panic as this was Elvis’ nickname. For all those’s that know of the whole "Elvis and Naz" Story would know that they are missing in action currently as no one knows where they are. I’m convinced that Elvis has released his own water when I get questioned where they are getting the water from. I state from their back yard in New Zealand or from when Naz’s water broke when she was about to give birth. Yes I know the last choice was sick but it was a well-needed laugh at this stage.

We head back home without buying Elvis water to start the fire again. It was totally freezing and we couldn’t wait to start the fire. Someone went totally nuts with the fire and I think we were almost ready to burn the house down. I was convinced the fire was going to crack the window open and burn us to death. Besides we used the poor woman’s entire firewood in less than 3 days.

It was back into the kitchen to cook another meal for us. Being the salad master I took this role again. Once dinner was done we decided to watch some DVD’s before the soccer game. We started to watch Candyman when people started to get scared in the first 5 minutes of the movie even though nothing had happened yet. We had to switch it off and replace it with Paycheck. One of my favorite Ben Afflect films.

Once the movie came to an end it was time for hot chocolate and marshmallows. I decided to start filming when I spotted a torch in the hallway. Thinking it would be a great idea I convinced myself we should head to the Mannequin room to do some torch style filming. The footage actually looks good.

The soccer started and we were clued to the TV. However I was still in filming mode. I was ready to head back into the Mannequin room and chop of the head to it in the dark for some great footage. The half time whistle rang and this is when I spotted the Game Analyst. They were there to analyze the soccer game. This is when I yell out that I should be a soccer game Analyst when I get yelled at that I know jack shit and cant analyze a game. One of the Analysts called "Rahul" starts to talk and the guy can barely speak English.

The minute this guy starts to talk I crap up laughing at his comments. This guy had no idea what the hell was going on. This was the Netherlands game and the guy stated:

"The difference between the two teams is Robben"

I.e. Robben is a soccer player. Like what the f?

Obviously the difference between the two teams is Robben. It’s not like his going to be playing for both teams.

The guy went on to say

"When you play 3 games, if you lose one, you're already 50% out of the game."

Don’t ask me what I was laughing about but for crying out loud I can definitely go and analyze the games with stupid comments like this!

JOSH IS BACK IN TOWN!!!

NEWSFLASH PEOPLE

JOSH IS BACK IN TOWN!

I Just found out that Josh is back in town for 10 days and I'm pretty XCITED as you can probably tell.

I cant wait to see him!

Sightseeing in Katoomba

It was a nice sleep in before waking up for a shower and breakfast. Looking outside the weather looked freezing cold and I shivered at the thought of going outside to sightsee today but I knew staying in this haunted house wasn’t going to do me any good.

We decided to go for a drive when we noticed that there was a lot of fog. The fog made it impossible to see anything. We turned a narrow corner to see two old people walking down a road with trees overlapping each other on the road with a lot of fog. Immediately we knew this was a great filming opportunity as the two old people looked totally freaky and the fog just had the final touch to it. So we quickly turned around and got the cameras out to do a scene.

Picture - A wall at Echo Point

ECHO POINT

Once we drove down the Blue Mountains drive we decided to rock up to Echo Point. It was still quite foggy here but we decided to do some hiking. We climbed down a whole heap of stairs when we spotted one of the sisters of the three sisters. It was sister "Berry", Unfortunately we couldn’t see the other two sisters due to the fog but we had a whole story line fitted around Cherry and her 3 sisters she froze.

We took enough photos of the first sister to try and satisfy our needs and then questioned whether or not to climb the remaining 700 steps. We actually thought about doing it in this freezing cold when we spotted some guy climbing back up after completing the entire trip. He was ready to throw himself on the ground and die from a stroke. Thank god this was a sign that we shouldn’t do it.

More importantly I don’t think me wearing an overcoat and hiking went well. Luckily we decided to head back up. We barely climbed 50 steps and we were ready to drop dead. Can you imagine if we did the entire 700 more? I think they would need to bring a helicopter to rescue us. This is when we started questioning whether I should of brang my asthma machine. I pointed out that my asthma machine doesn’t run on batteries when a whole car kit was added to it. It sounded like I was climbing 700 steps with a suitcase on my back. The thought sent shivers down my spine.

I barely caught my breath when we approached the top. We wandered over to see the 3 sisters but it was way too foggy to see anything. We did the next best thing – we went to the chocolate factory to warm up.

Picture - The Fog at Blue Mountains

Picture - More fog

CHOCOLATE FACTORY

Picture - The famous Chocolate Factory

We rocked up to the chocolate factory for me to only wait 20 minutes to be served. By that time I was ready to grab on the guys throat and demand hot chocolate. We spent a good half an hour resting here before deciding to head home to start the fire.

BACK AT THE HAUNTED HOUSE

We arrived back into the house and immediately some one started fussing over the fireplace and the fact we had to get it running before we freeze to death tonight. While the fire place fuss was happening we spotted a mouse running around like a lunatic. This was a great sign!

Once the fireplace started we knew that there was no way we were going out for dinner. So it was into the kitchen again to start our meal. Within an hour we had cooked up enough to feed half of Africa. I was in charged of making the salad and got pretty excited with the task. It was then that it hit me that I should do a cooking class as I enjoy cooking. I think I get this from my dad who’s a pastry chef himself.

Picture - The Fireplace under control

Dinner was served, the fire place was roaring and what better way to celebrate then crack open a bottle of wine. However things started to get out of control as we scrulled the wine down pretty quick before opened a bottle of Italian Champagne followed by more bottles of wine.

Picture - My AWESOME Salad

Picture - The Dinner we had that night

Before I knew it we were on the phone to Cherry screaming our lungs out. I don’t remember much of the conversation but were lucky that we actually taped the entire show. Now we spent the day watching seinfeld and Golden Girls.

The Seinfeld episode was the one where Elaine faked an orgasm. So obviously our first question to Cherry was whether or not she faked it. Cherry started screaming that she cant answer that question unless she’d drunk so we skipped to the next question, what would she say at our Eulogy. Before I knew what was happening a water fight broke out and we were wet head to toe while Cherry was on the phone screaming that we went on holidays without her. For the full coverage of this episode you may be able to download the footage at a later stage from the blog.

After the phone call I was dying to watch the England soccer match but 10 minutes before the game I started feeling sick. I don’t know if it was the alcohol and the screaming but I was lucky that most of it came back out. Nez you will be happy to know, yes I vomited. I ended up passing out 5 minutes before the game.

Apparently I only had to last another 9 minutes as Beckham scored in the first 4 minutes and that was the entire game!

Lunch in Katoomba & The exhausting DVD footage

We head to Hatters Café at Katoomba as this came highly recommended from Cherry who got drunk there on a chicken salad. It’s beyond me how someone can get drunk on a chicken salad but this is Cherry we are talking about. She got drunk on a steak a few years ago and nearly got us killed when driving into the city.

After enjoying lunch and witnessing some old bag in the restaurant causing a scene with her coffee we head to Flight Centre. I seriously don’t know why we ended up here as we walked past it and said we weren’t going in there. Only to end up back in there collecting books of Italy, Greece and Turkey. I supposed we needed some reading material or paper for the fireplace tonight.

Back at the house we are trying to get the fireplace going and within a short time I’m ready to wander through the lounge room in my underpants. With dinner on the table, a fireplace going and plenty of wine, out came the DVD collection. What do we watch?

It was time that we watched the footage we had from our "Film Production" and "Scriptwriting" classes. The DVD started with our Film Production assignment number one where we had to reshoot a scene from LA Confidential. The entire scene was at a party where the chick had to seduce the guy. Some how I got talked into playing the guy and Oishii was cast as the seductive chick. Meanwhile Firat, Tamar and Shad were wandering in the background like lost puppies.

We had never seen the movie so we decided to shoot without watching the scene first and just reading off the script that we were given. Watching the scene was quite funny and I can’t believe we actually agreed to filming that. I don’t think I could film that now.I think I have lost confidence and can't act in anything now.

Following the Film Production assignment scene was the entire scriptwriting footage. This class was a total joke honestly. The whole semester what we had to do was write a short script, cast the script using the people in our class and then direct one of the scenes in the script while we film it.

Hence this is when I wrote my script called "Paris". Paris was a gay unemployed actor living with his sister and brother in law. His sister was 9 months pregnant and ready to give birth any day. Paris was addicted to daytime soap and believed that the characters on screen were actually real. While watching his favorite soap "Hidden Intentions" his sister starts screaming. This is when Paris realizes that they have killed off his favorite character "Brad" off the show.

While the sister is screaming because her water has broken and she needs an ambulance to get to the hospital Paris is on the phone immediately not calling for an ambulance but calling channel seven to complain. While the sister is in pain screaming that "shes going to shove a hockey stick up his ass" if he doesn’t call her a cab the brother in law walks in.

The brother in law who is a self obsessed tit fanatic walks in to reveal that he just ran into Rachel in the lobby and she got breast implants. Fascinated by her new set of tits and nipples his wife starts to scream that "it’s coming". Her husband starts to scream you go pick her up then, I’m sick of your mother coming around here all the time. No one seems to be helping the poor pregnant woman when suddenly she gives up and stores past them knocking them out of the way to get downstairs to catch a cab.

For this scene I decided to cast Oishii as the pregnant woman, Guy as the gay brother and the cockroach guy Luke as the hubby. Some how the video got out, well the lecturer fell in love with the work and showed people and Oishii had totally strangers telling her that they loved her performance.

The last class was the actually screening of all of theses videos and I was lucky enough that the lecturer gave me the tape to make a copy of. Now this was about 4 years ago and that was the last time I watched this tape. So I seriously couldn’t remember what was on it.

Before the DVD we had discussed between ourselves what we remember. We knew that Oishii was in a total of 3 scripts – the aggressive pregnant woman, the shy bank teller and a strutting chick. It was then that we realized that I wasn’t cast in anyone’s script. I was totally disgusted that no one had picked me for their films.

The DVD started playing…..

The DVD started with the bank teller story line and it was pretty straight forward. Oishii was a shy bank teller and the cockroach guy Luke was the screaming customer who was demanding to see the bank manager. Now the shy bank teller tells him that the bank manager isn’t in and the guy continues to scream saying he wants a bank manager. When the shy bank teller tries to calm him down by saying that she will go find him the bank manager in walks the bank manager who happens to be no other than me. I jump off my seat in shock. I don’t remember filming this. What the hell is going on? Before I could question we all start a laughing fit about the fact that I’m the bank manager.

I wasn’t supposed to be in any script.Once the laughing fit came to a stop we continued watching the next scene and eventually my Paris script came up followed by Oishii’s strutting chick scene. At this point we thought the DVD was about to end when a scene came up with my voice. I had no idea what was happening when we noticed the next scene with me on screen as a police chief. This was starting to freak me out. I wasn’t meant to be on any of this. We had discussed this and we decided that no one cast me.

The scene continues as Snez played a reporter for some mental institution who was trying to open up a case that closed 20 years ago. Meanwhile I was trying to crack onto her – yes on screen and real life. All of a sudden all you hear is Oishii interrupting on screen acting as my secretary. What the hell is going on? She actually didn’t make it onto the screen well none of the actors did really due to the bad filming. At this point the laughing fits were getting beyond the point.

The DVD continued when I was on screen again playing a gym addict. I was pumping weights with my friend commenting on the new gym instructor when I stupidly drop it on my foot.

All of a sudden Oishii comes running into the scene and hence our laughing fits take off as again as we weren’t expecting that.

The DVD session was exhausting as no one remembered filming this stuff.

To continue we had to add more wine with the Mykonos trip footage….

BLUE MOUNTAINS WEEKEND AWAY

A sudden getaway for the long weekend was required and indeed that’s what we did. Packing my car to the fullest with heaters, blankets and god knows what else, it was going to be a relaxing weekend away!

However I did have my doubts as the whole accommodation booking was a complete disaster. Leaving things to the last minute of course means everything is fully booked out. We were looking at staying at a cottage so that we can have our own kitchen to cook and lounge room with a DVD player. The only place we found available was a cottage called "Pussy willows". Immediately I wanted this place because of the name. Anything named pussy was an incident waiting to happen. Slight problem as pussy willows didn’t have a fireplace and some of us insisted on a fireplace. By the time we made our minds up pussy willows got booked leaving us high and dry.

Hence the whole "Eileen" thing happen. We found another cottage in Katoomba and immediately called the woman to ask if the cottage is free that weekend. Previous to the phone call we sent an email and SMS.
Eventually this woman answered the phone and the conversation went something like this:

"Hi, I tried making a booking online last night"
"Oh! You’re the one who sent me the SMS?"
"Yes …"

The phone hangs up. Before we could get a word in the woman hang up the phone. What kind of a sick person hangs up on a potential customer. Confused about the whole situation, we called the woman a thousand times to only notice that her phone was switched off. First the bitch hangs up and then switches her phone off. It wasn’t looking good I’m afraid. With no accommodation and all.

Finally the woman calls back after a few good hours to tell us that her phone died and she doesn’t know how to send an SMS. So we booked the accommodation and paid for it. The woman sent an email to confirm the details to only reconfirm the details every day leading up to the weekend. How many times can you possibly confirm details for crying out loud? At this point we knew that this woman was a total freak and we would have to get her photo for our records. Only the woman refused to meet us and decided to leave the house key in some glove hidden in a box on the front porch. Who the hell leaves their house key in the front porch? I knew nothing good could come of this.

The weekend arrives and we start our drive to the mountains. Now I always knew the blue mountains wasn’t that far from my place and seeing as I have never been the minute I saw a "Welcome to Blue Mountains" sign after half an hour I got pretty excited thinking we had arrive. This wasn’t until the next sign which basically stated that Katoomba was another good hour drive. Thank god we stopped for coffee at Maccas before hand.

THE HAUNTED HOUSE

We arrive to the house and from the outside the house looks nice. It wasn’t until we found the key hidden in the glove to open the door and realize what lies inside this house.

Picture - The Haunted Cottage

The minute you walked into this house you just got a weird sense. There was something totally weird and freaky about this house. It was worst than an antique shop. It was like some old granny lived here and collected bits and pieces of junk just to have stuff. I just couldn’t believe the amount of piled up junk in this house.

Picture - The narrow hallway

Picture - Street view from the front door of the Cottage

Better still the house was like the big brother house. Every where you looked you found a hidden room that lead into another room. The house was a complete maze. The rooms were filled with hats, handbags and dolls.

Picture - The freaky light in the hallyway

Picture - The Gun above the door

However it wasn’t until we opened the room that had the closed doors to see this:

Picture - The haunted / evil spirits room

Picture - The Mannequin in the haunted room

What the hell was this? This woman was a complete freak I tell you. Who the hell puts a mannequin in their house? There was something totally freaky about this mannequin and the whole house. It wasn’t until later that we realized it was the fact that this mannequin had no hair? This was the defining moment that we realized that this house was indeed haunted!

Our imaginations started to run totally wild when we just couldn’t take it anymore and ran out of the room and closed the door shut. Hence one problem, we forgot the light on in the room. None of us dared to go into the room to close the light. What if this mannequin came to life after we slept? What if this mannequin tried to strangle one of us in our sleep? We tried closing the gap to block the light coming through the door and then realized that we don’t have a lounge room to sit in or a TV.

Wandering through the house we slowly discovered the other living room, which had a TV, DVD player and a fireplace. Thank god!

Picture - The safe lounge room

Picture - The hidden sun room
Picture - Freaky House Item # 1789

Picture - Freaky House Item # 1984

Picture - The side porch at the back of the cottage=

Picture - The Backyard

We unload our gear from the car and the weather looks totally shit for the weekend. Just as well we had over 50 DVD’s with us. We settle into the house before running out to lunch.

Cigdosh's Farewell WITHOUT Cigdosh!

I decided to organise a farewell get together for my cousin a few weeks before she jetted off to Turkey. She has been dogging us since January 2006 with the same excuse every week that "She has visitors coming over". In the end I caught onto the fact that she was up to no good. So I told her that her farewell party would also be an intervention for her. She agreed to face us and come up with a story to convince us that she seriously has had visitors coming every weekend since January. Seriously half of Sydney has been going over to her place.

A day before the farewell party Cigdosh calls with news. She knows that I’m ready to rip her throat out if she tells me that she’s pulling out of the party. Hence she pulls out of the party because she has visitors coming over again.

So the night arrives and everyone but Cigdosh goes to the party. It almost reminds me of our uni days when I organized Tamar a surprised birthday party. Her sister Houri was supposed to bring Tamar to the party but some how forgot to mention it to her. So Tamar organized something else and never turned up. So hence we continued to celebrate her birthday without her. This is when the whole Naz milk and antipasto incident happened but I better not get into that again.

Nez’s Dede (Grandfather)

My cousin decides to tell me at the gathering that her grandfather who lives with them insisted that she calls for an ambulance because he thinks his about to die. When Nez questions on why he thinks his about to die, her dede informs her that his cold, therefore his dying. So what does Nez do? Obviously what anyone would do. She screams at him for creating a fuss about nothing and that his not going to die. She strolls to the bedroom and grabs a blanket for him. Dumps the blanket on him and tells him to never tell her that his dying again.

The Bosnian Princess Bank Robbery Attempt

For all thoses that remember our Bosnian Bank Princess, she was placed under a witness protection program for witnessing a very important bank fraud. Well now she’s going under another witness protection program because she witnessed a Bank robbery attempt at Liverpool branch.

Full details can’t be revealed due to Privacy act 134 903 but we can share some of the story.

The bosnian princess and co were moving half a million dollars in a Woolworth’s trolley (Note the trolley name had to be changed to protect thoses disturbing the money) from one end of the bank to another when there’s a loud bang at the back door. It’s the emergency exit door so no one’s allowed to open it unless it’s an emergency obviously. The banging continues when the bank gang decides to look under the door to see no feet. Obviously who ever was banging was moving away so that the one behind the door would see that theres no one standing there and would open the door to check outside. When they did this the robbers would burst in and steal the trolley.

The banging starts to get louder when the bank staff starts to panic. The staff immediately decides to wheel the Woolworth’s trolley into the disabled toilets at the bank and close the door. The police are immediately contacted while the banging continues.

Within minutes the police officers storm into the branch to see what all the panic is about. Meanwhile the trolley full of money is still in the disabled toilets. One of the officers decides to open the emergency door, which leads to the bank sirens going off. The officers step outside to see a man with his truck standing there. They walk over to question the man. They ask him how long he has been standing there and why. The guy tells them his been standing there for 20minutes waiting for someone. The officer decides to ask him if he saw anyone banging on the door. The guy responds saying that no one has been banging on the door. Who the hell stands there for 20 minutes and doesn’t see someone banging on the door?

Further questioning is undertaken but due to the privacy act I cant reveal too much of the details. The police officers head back into the bank when the bosnian princess shuts the door. The bosnian princess now needs to undergo an identity change due to the attempted bank robbery. We are in the process of changing her name and flying her out to Canada in the next month or so. She has been placed in a higher witness protection program for her own safety.

Meanwhile the money is still sitting in a trolley in the disabled toilets…..

More details to follow…

Quote of the Month....

My work mate’s comment to me this week. I swear I work with freaks!!!

"You have a funny head, I just want to bitch slap it"

The Baby

My cousin in Melbourne just gave birth to a baby girl. The entire birth happened in 1 hour and 40 minutes in total. Apparently she was rushed to hospital around 2pm when her contractions started. However as nothing seems to be straightforward in my family it was obvious that drama was ahead.

Some how in between her contractions my cousin convinced herself that she had to go to the toilet. The nurses apparently told her that it wasn’t the fact she had to go to the toilet but the baby was coming. She decides to ignore the nurses and insist that she has to go to the toilet.

They take her to the toilet. She seats down and starts to have contractions again. She begins screaming out to the nurses when they have to rush into the toilet to help her up. When they do the baby’s head is almost out. They tell her that they don’t have time to take her back to the room and that she must give birth standing up in the hospital toilet.

I asked my other cousin why they didn’t lie her down on the hospital floor to give birth when she screamed at me "Would you lie on a hospital toilet floor?"

Of course my answer was no but then again if I was in that much pain and had to get a giant baby out of me I don’t think I would be too fussy.

Five minutes later my cousin gave birth standing up in the hospital toilet.

The Year Of YES

Recently, Tugcen aka Puppy recommended a book to me. It’s been ages since I picked up a book. The last book I picked up was "When in Rome". Unfortunately I didn’t finish reading this book as I lost it. I couldn’t be bothered paying another $30 for another copy so I’m hoping it will turn up one day.

So I decided to buy the book she was talking about since it sounded quite entertaining when she spoke of it.

"The year of yes" by Maria Headley is a true story of a girl living in New York City searching for the perfect guy. A quest to find a man she can stand for longer than a couple of hours. She decides not to leave her love life up to fate by going out with everyone who asked her out. Opening her heart and mind to the possibility that her perfect match might be the person she least expected. Within the year she starts to date homeless men, taxi drivers, a Microsoft millionaire who still lived with his mother, a 70 year old who only spoke Spanish and even a couple of women.

Currently I am still at the beginning of the book where she starts to date her plumber who’s like twice her age. Her rule is that she can’t object any offers if they actually ask her out.

One of my favorite paragraphs so far is:

In my travels around the city, about ten guys a day offered me everything from wedding rings to highly specific pornographic solicitations. Sometimes I got weirder offers, too. While I’d been dating Donatello, I’d agreed to be an extra in his student film. This had entailed a 4:30am walk to a bar on Avenue D, during which I’d heard, from behind me, a mysterious chirpy sound. It turned out to be the inhabitant of an aluminum bagel cart, trying to get my attention in order to gift me with a cream cheese schmear. I’d crossed the street to evade him, but he’d chased me, waving a bag of bagels.

"Baby doll! Baby doll! My coffee is the best in New York! I wanna give you a present! You don’t need a present? I got bialys, you don’t like bagels! I got danishes sweetheart!"

"I’m not hungry," I’d said walking faster.

"Baby doll! You can’t turn down my pastry," he’d yelled, his bagel cart teetering as it built up speed.

"Yeah U can", I’d said and then sprinted to the bar, barely escaping him.

It seemed that I exuded some sort of pheromone that caused strangers to stop whatever they were doing and follow me home.

TODAY IS THE 06/06/06!

It's intriguing to notice that today is the 06/06/06 but what does this exactly mean?

I did some surfing on the web & asked a few friends and this is what I got:

"666 is the sign of the devil"

"I think that it means the end of the world but I'm not sure"

"I do know 666 is the sign of the antichrist and the end days. that's the code your supposed to have implanted under your skin"

"Its the release date for a movie 6th june 2006and guess what movie?THE OMEN! (damion the child is seen as the devil, hence 666)"

"Oh yeah....it's not the end of the world! In the bible it says that NO ONE (except God) knows when he will come. Not even Jesus knows. Don't worry. I'll be praying 4 you (and every one else on this dear planet.)"

"Well it happens every 100 years, and the years before nothing has happened - so no.Just think:

- June 6, 1806
- June 6, 1906
- June 6, 2006

all are written 06-06-06. Why still be scared? Because in truth the year is 5766, anyway. The calendar was restarted during the time of Jesus"

"Why would I be scared of June 6, 2006?There are too many other things in life to worry about besides a date, simply because it says 06-06-06. No one knows when the end of time is coming except God"

"Do you think that Satan in going "out on the town" that day? Because if you are, I hate to tell you this---but he is ALWAYS out there! This earth belongs to him because it is corrupted----he will be destroyed with it and he wants to take as many souls with him as he can. A date is just a date. If you want to fear something---fear the wrath of God!"

The Sacked Chef

Recently an inconsiderate person got the chef at Gasparo sacked! That’s right people right in front of our faces as well. What was meant to be a group catch up session where my cousin Cigdosh decided to dog us again because conveniently she had visitors coming over. Note theses visitors have been coming every weekend since January 2006. I smell a rat!

For thoses that know of the restaurant its located in Burwood. This is the famous café that we used to hang out at during uni days. Basically after class we would end up at Gasparo’s for our usual dinner. Most people go to the same restaurant to try their various dishes but what do we do? Order the same pasta dish for the past 6 years. It’s such an easy dish to cook at home as well. Its basically boiled pasta soaked in oil and vinegar topped with tomatoes and olives. Any tom dick or harry can make it at home. Instead we pay $15 for this plate.

To cut a long story short, we decided to take our Bosnian princess to the restaurant. We rock up and seat ourselves down at a table. Only to quickly search for our well-known waiter Sue. Now sue is another story. We were here a few weeks ago, actually I think about 2 to be exact when we met the new waitress. She was bubbly and smiled every chance she got.

For some stupid reason some inconsiderate person decides to inform the new waitress of the whole restaurant history. Hence the story follows that the owner now who is a Moroccan guy used to be a waiter here. The Asian woman who owed the restaurant ended up having an affair with the waiter. Because he was on his visa and needed to stay here the Asian woman decided to marry him. Hence the guy not only got residence but a restaurant to manage. Its beyond me how some people get this information but to actually have the nerve to tell the new waitress. Oh wait the best part. After telling the waitress she told her not to tell management. Now if you were the waitress wouldn’t you want to tell your boss about the rumors?

Anyway Sue decides to take our order and we go for the usual pasta dish where as the Bosnian princess decides to do something different and orders some octopus dish.

The meals arrive and Sue puts them in front of us. We start eating when some inconsiderate person decides to call Sue over to complain about her meal. Sue comes over and the first question thrown at her as if it’s the end of the world is "Has the Chef changed?" Poor Sue looks at us thinking what’s happening. She quickly answers us and tells us that they have a new chef tonight.

She then proceeds to ask, "What’s wrong?" This is when the inconsiderate person complains that the pasta is too dry, missing the oil and vinegar as well as them being tight asses on the tomatoes to previous time. Once again she tells Sue not to pass this onto management.

Within minutes all we see is the chef power walking to the counter, dumping his keys and storming out in front of us. We quickly ask Sue what’s happening and she informs us that the chef just got sacked. What type of a person complains and gets the chef sacked right smack in front of us. The least you could do is wait until we have finished our meals before you make us lose our appetites. That poor man probably has 5 kids and a wife to feed back at home. With the chef being sacked on the spot due to the complaint being the last straw, we sat there trying to understand how someone could be so inconsiderate.

The Moroccan guy came out smiling at us and god love the guy who can barely speak English. At least he sees us as loyal customers over the years. Hence we search our wallets to leave a huge tip. Looking through our wallets we realize we are short on cash so I call Sue over and tell her that the inconsiderate person who got the chef sacked is willing to do the dishes for free tonight. Sue passes this onto the Moroccan guy and his more than happy.

Now doesn’t this remind you guys of a Will and Grace episode where Grace got the waiter sacked?

THE OJ OVERDOSE

Dimitri Giotopolous reporting for SMG TVNETWORK:

Recently a 37-year-old man was rushed to hospital for overdosing on OJ. Yes you heard right OJ. The story follows that this nutcase who happens to be my brother has been down with bronchitis for the past month. One that takes antibiotics needs to drink A LOT of water to keep up his fluids. Instead what does one do? He decides to boycott water and drink Orange Juice instead. Sculling down 2L of OJ just before bed was an incident waiting to happen.

When one has to explain to family and friends why your brother is in hospital I think one would be more proud if he overdosed on cocaine or heroin for crying out loud. The minute I mention that his overdosed on OJ people:

A) Don’t believe me and think I’ve totally lost the plot
B) Burst out into tears at this very inappropriate time
C) Both A & B
D) Suggest that he keep drinking OJ to see how far he can go

When questioning the victim on his hospital bed we found out that he drank 4 Litres of OJ and 3 Litres of Apple Juice the day before which lead to his blurry eyes first thing Friday morning. Hence this is when the girlfriend decides to rush him to the hospital when she thinks his about to go blind.

Once his put on drips and god knows what other machines the doctor reveals that his sugar level has hit an enormous 48. A normal sugar level being around 5 to 6, this was a massive increase. While my mother kept her eye on him she eventually had to go home when we found out that his sugar level has come down to 10. Thinking he was safe now we headed home.

Which lead to the 12:30am snack. Feeling peckish and hungry my brother decides to call his girlfriend who lives 10 minutes from Campbelltown hospital to bring him a snack. The girlfriend decides to help by hitting her kitchen to find a jar of vegemite and some bread rolls. Within minutes it’s a smuggling operation into the hospital. As my brother had to wheel his drip to the emergency department to pretend that his smoking to do the dealing smack bang but where else but the emergency department. We have no witnesses as yet as everyone was on their death bed in the emergency department.

This midnight snack immediately brang his sugar level up to 22. On questioning the victim he claims at first, that he only had the bread rolls and vegemite. Feeling unsatisfied by his confusion we bring in the big guns – MY MOTHER. Who interrogates the victim to find out the truth?

The day before my mother brang a container of cake to give to his girlfriend. My mum makes this walnut cake which she loves so my mum thought it would be nice to give her some since we had a whole tray at home. Apparently the victim held the container of cake hostage and refused to give it to his girlfriend. In between his midnight snack with the vegemite and bread rolls came out the walnut cake. It turned into a major tea party with this feast. Of course with all of this unnecessary food consumption his sugar level raised significantly high. When my mother was informed about this smuggling incident she was about to rip both of their throats out.

Any future updates will follow…….

Food Review - MAY 2006

Following Lowie's 21st Birthday Bash we headed to Leichhardt for food. We arrived and found ourselves sitting at "Galetta Bar. This looked like a typical popular Italian Woodfire pizza place. The food smelled good from the outside as well.

I ordered a "Napolitana pizza" which had Olives, mushrooms and anchovies on it. The base of the pizza was thin and very nice. One thing that I have realised is that I can no longer eat Pizza Hut or Pizza Heaven Pizza's. They seriously make me feel sick. I have no idea why. When I was a little kid I used to love having Pizza Hut but I supposed when you try woodfire pizza you realise there's more than Pizza Hut out there.

I actually remember the Pizza's I had in Italy and I have to say that they are totally and I mean totally delicious. I don't think there was any meals in Italy that I had, that I didn't like actually. The country has amazing food.

I would definately come back here for a pizza in the future. For thoses that havent been to Galetta Bar I would strongly recommend you try it out.

Following the pizza I decided to order a flourless double chocolate and hazelnut cake.The minute I read this on the menu I knew that I had to have it. For thoses that do go to the resturant I would strongly recommend this. It's a must for chocolate lovers...