STATUE OF LIBERTY -NYC

We arrive at the Statue of Liberty Island to rush off after taking close to a whole memory stick of photos on the ferry. We jump off the ferry to wander around the Island to avoid the traffic.

Wandering around the Island we stop at a stop to catch the beautiful atmosphere of Manhattan. Several photos and deep breath's were taken to register all of this.

I think about 7 or 8 people asked me to take a photo of them standing on the edge with the Manhattan view in the background. Of course I asked them in return to take my photo and hence they screwed it up. You can't depend on total strangers for good photos for crying out loud. They should all be shot. Inconsiderate jerks.

After finishing up with our photo session here, it was time to move to the statue. The minute I arrive up close and personal I go totally insane taking photos of the Statue of Liberty. Well I suppose you have to dont you? This is New York! When someone yells New York at you, the first thing you think of is Statue of Liberty.

Once again I ask several people to take photos and of course what do they do? They take a photo without the statue in the background. Who fucken wants a photo of themselves with a brick background. The purpose of being here is to get my photo taken with the Statue of Liberty. What type of an inconsiderate person doesn't include the Statue in the background? Obviously the American guy taking our picture.

To make matters worse some photographer approaches me and asks if I want my photo taken with the Statue of Liberty. Of course its going to cost me some good money. By this time I'm tempted to shove his camera up his ass. I have my own camera mate. I'll take my own photos.

After the photo session, its a decision to climb up the statue or not. The problem - today is actually quite hot in New York. With the heat already killing me, one decides to give it a miss. What the hell am I going to get out of climbing the statue?

The time came to farewell the Statue of Liberty Island, with the next stop being Ellis Island. On the ferry we decide to fuck the Ellis Island off as there wasn't anything there to see. Besides with the heat frying my brain the last thing I need to see is a list of ancient people and their families.

The ferry pulls into the dock and we race off the ferry back into the park - only to get a bloody photo of the eagle statue. What the fuck this statue is representing is beyond me! More importantly why we needed it, is beyond me!

Wandering through the park we stop at EVERY stall to check out the paintings of New York. With me wanting to buy every single one of them, we only tend to tease the seller before we race off to the subway.

More American Breakfast's

Back to Tick Tock for more typical American breakfast's. This morning I decide to go with my pancakes to have a major sugar rush as I have a major day planned in front of me.
This was to boost up my cholestrol as well. Oh and the waffle, I better not get started on that waffle. It's beyond me how anyone could eat that thing. I think you would need a month to shit that out!

Moving right along, today's plan was to see the Statue of Liberty. This involved catching the subway to the wharf where we had to board a ferry. We had to get the tickets from some book shop as well, so we left early in the morning.

While on the Subway an annoucement comes over the PA system stating that anyone that wants to get off at the wharf needs to be in the first four carriages because the platform isn't long enough to fit the whole subway. This is a mad race to the first four front carriages by everyone. I'm suprised I didn't fall over and crack my head open by the lunatics rushing by.

The subway stops and the door slam open. This is when we notice a huge gap between the subway and the platform. We all step into panic mode that we have to jump the one metre. Luckily the subway has a system and it extends so that people do not fall through the gap.

Rushing off the Subway towards the Wharf in search of a bookstore we stroll through the park that has many people setting up shop with NY paintings and photos. Oh and we some how see a huge eagle in the park that for some reason requires a photo of.

We manage to get our tickets from the bookshop before racing off to the Wharf to board. Oh yeah somewhere in between I had to pee. We spot the huge line for the ferry and then spot about 200 people in front. Great this should be fun. Hence the operation to shove people out of the way starts.

We line up only to end up in a security check inside before boarding the ferry. On the ferry we climb to the roof to start the photo session. I panic at the time, thinking maybe I should pop a few motion sickness tablets when I notice that the Statue of Liberty Island is only a 20 minute ferry trip.

While waiting for the ferry I suddently notice a row of women pushing a number of prams. This is when we pull out the cameras. One woman carrying about three or four kids split into a pram. Interesting......

The Laundry Mess @ New Yorker

Picture - Street view of the New Yorker hotel with Tick Tock Diner on the left

It was time for a laundry run. Seriously I don't think I had any clean underwear left so I was going commando for a while. The hotel I'm staying at aka The New Yorker is a huge place that has two sections, the hotel side and the student accomodation side. Within the hotel is everything you need - including a laundry room, gym and internet cafe.

Picture - The New Yorker Hotel & Student Accomodation

So I head into the laundry room to wash all my clothes. The hotel has a coin operated laundramat which we could use.

Down in the basement in the laundramat we spot a coin operated laundry powder machine. Feeling too lazy to walk to a convience store we decide to use one of theses. We approach a washing machine when we notice we don't have enough coins. This is when I race upstairs to reception to find change for the machine. I tell the woman at reception that I'm doing my laundry and I need change of quaters for a $5 note. She happily helps me out and my arms are filled with quaters. I race downstairs to start the laundry process.

Leaving the laundry on its own, its back to the room to watch some TV. I cant remember what I was watching but I'm sure it was even the Golden Girls or the Nanny. After about half an hour its back to the laundry room to check on it. The machines still going so its an option of going to Tick Tock for coffee or heading to the convience store across the road for some munchies.

In the convience store I realise I feel like chocolate and more junior mints. Random purchases are made and its back to the laundry room for another check up. The laundry is done. Everything is dragged out and into the dryer. Meanwhile I spot a few quaters on the floor. So I do what anyone would. I pick the quaters up and shove them into my pocket.

Back upstairs, munchies are out and Will and Grace is on TV.God I missed this show. I plan to buy what ever Will and Grace CDs I can get. As Will and Grace ends I find myself back in the laundry room to collect my gear.

When I start to pull out my gear from the dryer I notice that half of my shirts have shrunk. Oh my fuckin god. Feeling shitty, I shove everything into a bag and head back to my room for some decent sleep.Look on the bright side now I have a reason to go shopping tomorrow for new shirts.

Seinfeld Obessession

After watching reruns of the Golden Girls it was time to head out for dinner. Following my obessession with Seinfeld this time it was to Tom's Resturant for a big salad that Elaine had in one of the episodes.

Seeing as currently I was staying on 34th Street and I had to get to 112th Street, there was no way on earth I was walking all thoses blocks. It was to the subway.

Taking the Central Park exit which for some reason was meant to be close to the restaurant we end up lost on the streets of NY. The best part - you can tell this is the dodgy side to NYC. Alot of homeless people are around. It's probably like Cabramatta in Sydney.

Strolling through the dark near a park, its difficult to see the street signs at night and the construction work around here didnt help either. Some how a guy approached us wanting to help us. I stood there staring at him as he was carrying a huge queen size bed head.

Who the hell steals a bed head in the middle of the night? Better still who walks around town with a bed head attached to them. After he kindly offered his help he asked for money so that he can catch the subway. A few cents were thrown at him when he insisted I help him carry the bed head down the subway.There is no way I'm helping him carry that thing. For all I know it can be stolen. The last thing I need is to be an accessory to theft in NYC. Imagine me trtying to explain that to my parents.

Storming off I decided to ask a homeless guy for directions when he yelled something at me. Its beyond me why I even asked as he mumbled something and I walked off before he finished because I knew the next line would be do you have any spare change.

Half an hour later after getting lost several times and going up wrong streets and Avenues I see Tom's Restaurant smack bang in my face. It's identical to the one on Seinfeld so it seems I'm at the right place. This is the best part. We didnt want to look like tourist taking photos of the place so we stood on the side of the road taking random pictures without causing an attention to ourselves.

By this time we were starving so we storm in and get a booth. The inside design is identical to the Seinfeld one and I notice several Seinfeld autograph pictures hanging on the walls. It was a nice American Diner.

Reading through the menu I dont think I even remembered the big salad so it was the typical American burger and fries. While waiting for the food to arrive I try to secretly take random shots of the diner. Slight problem the flash went off a few times.

The meal arrives and I notice a gigantic burger on my plate. Its definately going to be filling. I scoff down the burger like no tomorrow. Feeling satified now that I have dined in a Seinfeld restaurant its time to leave. I get up to pay for the bill when a couple are going crazy taking photos of every little piece of the diner. Aka Seinfeld fans. So much for me being discreet. This is when I crack and decide to do the same. I start taking photos randomly and its a big flash show in there.

Next thing you know we are all outside the restaurant taking photos of the building. God we must look like lunatics.

EMPIRE STATE BUILDING -NYC

Entering the Empire State Building (ESB), once again the swap at the ticket booth is made for an entry ticket using the NY Pass. The NY Pass entilted you to an Audio tour as well. They give you headphones and a remote so that you can click on certain numbers at the top of the ESB to tell you where you are and what you can see.

To make our way up to the top of the ESB we had to catch a few elevators to the top. After one of the elevator trips, we were all stuck in a queue again to get a photo taken with a fake back drop. Stupidly every one has to go through this before the next lift. When its time to get the photo taken I realised how shitty the backdrop is and there is no way on earth I would buy it.

Arriving to the top of the ESB I realised how beautiful and breath taking this city was. It reminded me of the moment in Paris when I climbed the Effiel Tower. The city looked amazing and this City does as well. I couldn't believe how beautiful NYC was.

New York is filled with high rised building. It's like every building is competing for itself. Where ever you look you have a massive tall building in front of you. For a minute I wished Sydney had this view.



I spent the next half an hour walking from one corner to the next admiring the view. Each corner had a bay number that matched on the Audio commentary. By selecting the number you would hear what you could see from looking at that point.

Taking in the view I took several shots of the NYC and listened to the commentary. This was something that I always wanted to do and I felt extremely happy to be doing this. While listening to the audio commentary they mentioned the twin towers and this is when I realised that today was actually September the 11th!


After admiring the view, we took a lift downstairs to join the Skyline interactive tour. Entering in I felt nervous at first as I wasn't sure what to expect. I was assuming it was like IMAX theatre in Sydney.

Everyone basically sat down in seats and tied a seatbelt to themselves and they play a video which was shot on a helicopter. So you tend to experience as if you are on the helicopter and flying in the sky passing through the city of NEW YORK. The best part was that the seats were moving from left to right to maximise the experience.

The tour was fun and fascinating for a while. It was time to call it quits for the day so it was back to the hotel for some rest.

Sahara Grill, The showgirls and King Kong

The plan was to head to the Empire State building today. Along the way I became quite fascinated by Sahara Grill. The first site of Turkish life in NYC.Before I could say a word, I flop out my camera and aim it at the resturant.

Feeling satisfied by my discover the journey continued. Walking toward the Empire State Building we past Macy's outlet. Who ever watches sitcoms like Friends would of heard about Macy's department store. Its an up market shopping centre similar to David Jones. Of course I had to snoop in there just so that I can say I shopped in Macy's.

Walking out of Macy's and continuing along the journey I spot a bunch of showgirls coming out of a limo. Its full speed into my bag to take photos. Its beyond me why I put my camera away. I should keep it in my hand but then I'm too much of a tourist and a target to be mugged.

While taking photos of the showgirls I spot Elvis riding his motor bike. Within minutes theres a crowd, staring at them and taking photos. Thank god I'm not the only loser doing this. It seems they are promoting something for Las Vegas but we have no clue as to what the hell they are on about. Who cares I got my photos, we need to get out of here now.

A few blocks down I run into King Kong. God the day's seriously getting interesting. Yeah I got a photo hehe

The SOUP NAZI

The Wax Museum took alot out of me and I was starving to death so it seemed like a good idea to head to the Soup Kitchen. Since I was getting over the sore throat still, it seemed like a good idea to get some soup. Besides it was only 10 blocks away.

Most of you all know that I am a HUGE fan of Seinfeld and when I found out that the soup kitchen from the Soup Nazi episode actually exist I knew this was one thing I had to fit into my NY schedule.

While walking the 10 blocks, plans were made on what soups to order and how much to have. It all came crashing down when on arrival we notice that the Soup Nazi is actually closed. Feeling frustrated I take a photo of the soup kitchen and wander off in disappointment.

Realising that today was Sunday, I think maybe the Soup Nazi will be open during the week so I'll come back. The plan was to walk back to Broadway to grab lunch but I was seriously starving at this point.

Flicking through the NY Pass book we realise that there is a discount at Hard Rock Cafe. This was an option but then again I felt more like a snack than a meal right now. This is when the Pizza place became visible.

Walking into the pizza shop we notice all the pizza's displayed out. You basically have the choice of picking what type of a pizza you want and they reheat the pizza for you. For some reason I thought I could have 2 slices. I order a mushroom and chicken pizza slice. When the pizza's were passed over I realised that I was being greedy. I keep forgetting that America has large servings.

Yes it was just a lunchtime snack. I think the plan was to have a snack now and a whole meal an hour or so later. What the hell was that about? Who sees the size of the pizzas and then still orders two? I swear look at the size of theses things. Its like half a pizza in Sydney.

Eating half of the Pizza I realised that I had to work it off. For some reason the next decision for the day was completely wrong. It's to the CNN studio tour. Most of you all know about my filming obessession so I thought a CNN studio tour is something I need to experience.

The marathon to CNN Studios started. I think we walked from 46th St to the 59th St, which is over 10 blocks when I pulled out the NY Pass book to confirm the address. This is when I realise that the studios close at 4pm on Sundays. Checking my watch I realised it was 3:45pm already. There was no way in hell this was possible.

The next decision was to head back to the hotel which was 20 blocks away.

MADAME TUSSAUDS - Wax Museum

Welcome to Madame Tussauds - The famous wax museum in NYC.

Rushing in with excitment - the NY Pass is used to exchange for an entry ticket. Noticing that the entry fee is approx 30 US.

It's full speed up the stairs only to be stopped by one of the workers insisting on a photo with the huge wax figure of the Hulk. Deciding not to object, pictures are taken. I have the choice of whether I want to buy it or not down the track. I think we took two or three shots. One shot was a normal shot and the next shot the guy demanded a scary shot. With this in mind my acting skills were put into place and of course the photo was purchased.

The next few hours were spent in the Wax Museum taking photos of the Wax figures and me pulling out my video camera and filming it all. The Wax museum had some serious interesting figures. I zoomed into the wax figures hoping for one to have their eyes blink but no luck. Funny enough the wax museum now freaks me out after watching that Wax Museum movie with Paris Hilton.

In 2004 I saw the Wax Museum in London and I have to say that the Museum there was awesome. Every figure looked so much alive that you were too scared to approach it up close and personal.

For some reason I refused to go into the horror section this time around. Oh yeah I had to pay extra for it and besides it had LIVE interaction. Knowing me I would belt the guy trying to scare me in the balls.

A few pictures of many follows:

Picture - The beautiful Beyonce

Picture - Jennifer and I getting hot and heavy

Picture - Hugh and Cruz

Picture - NSYNC

Picture - Me getting my photo taken

Picture - Whoopiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

BROADWAY

The minute I step foot into BROADWAY, camera's are out. I need photos of anything and everything. I want photos of people, the famous NYC taxi's, the NYPD cars and most important the shiny lights of the night life.

Picture - The VIRGIN store which I spent hours in

Picture - A sign of the Weeded Woman

Picture - NYPD cop car. I want one

The city was buzzing with excitment. They are right when they say that NYC is a city that never sleeps. I couldn't believe I was here. Trying to capture and make the most of every moment I had.

The minute I started strolling down the road I became an instant target to the bus tour companies. At first I wanted to find out the price for a bus tour. When I found out that it was over 50 US to jump on a bus I thought I would do it by foot instead.

We walked past several stalls that were set up on the foot paths. This reminds me of Turkey Style. People were selling all sort of things from paintings to handbags to my favourite designer jewellery for $2 US.

Next stop was Planet Hollywood to pick up New York City Passes. This was purchased online and contains a book which gives you free access to various NYC sites such as the Empire State building and Statue of Liberty. I think I spent close to $100 on the book but realised while I was there that it was so worth it.

Arriving at Planet Hollywood I realised I forgot to bring ID to show that it was me picking up the passes. All I had was a computer print out of the transaction made online. Thankfully they didnt bother asking for ID and my passes were simply handed over to me.

Leaving Planet Hollywood we noticed a market stall up ahead. It was like a street festival we have here in Sydney. So what does one do? Of course head to the stalls for goodies. Every second stall was a Greek Souvalaki shop. Most of them had a sign such as the picture below which seemed quite interesting...

Yes thats right a foot long Shish-Ke-Bob. Who has a footlong shish kebab? What do they think this is? Subway? No wonder Americans don't have anything in small packages. People are eating large amounts of crap.

Being tempted to buy a foot long shish kebab since its in my face every two stalls a sudden attraction happens. I spot a shop with soft teddy bears. Theses teddy bears aren't like anything else. They have a teddy bear dressed in the Statue of Liberty costume, they have American fireman and Police man ones. Being tempted to buy all of them, I get caught up in the moment and end up buying the Statue of Liberty teddy bear to end the desire. I think this was the first major purchase with many more to come.

Next stop was Star Bucks to do a indepth analysis of the tourist sightseeing plan over the period I was here.

Breakfast in NYC

It felt like I slept for 2 weeks. I was all freshened up and ready for some real American breakfast. What better way then heading to the nearest diner where I was staying. This is TICK TOCK, which became a major part of my life for my entire stay in NYC.

Settling into Tick tock I ordered a mushroom omlette. As you can see in the picture above it does indeed look VERY healthy. Looking at this picture now makes me feel sick but during that time it was actually very yummy.

After eating enough fat to raise my cholestrol I found myself in a souvenier shop in the New Yorker hotel purchasing a $6 US map of NYC. It's beyond me why I paid for a map when I later realised I could of got one for free.

With my map in hand it was time to explore BROADWAY!!!

First Night in NY

Entering the lobby I witness an amazing view of the hotel. The lobby itself looks awesome; I can’t wait to see the rest of the joint. I approach the hotel desk and start the checking in process while I look around the lobby thinking oh my god I’m finally in New York. The bellboy takes the suitcases and leads the way to the room.

We enter the room, where I tip the bellboy and practically slam the door in his face. Dumping the bags, I race out the door in search of food. Any food right now would be good. The elevator doors open to the lobby and its an immediately rush out when we spot a restaurant on the right hand side of the lobby. At the time thinking its hotel food and that I would have to sell my kidney for a meal I decide to stuff it and exit the hotel.

Standing outside the hotel I spot Maccas opposite it. The thought of maccas at this time of night is too disgusting so instead it’s a left turn from the hotel straight down looking for food. I think this was the worst decision as every shop open that I looked into looked like I wanted to poison myself. The only appealing store was Taco Bells, which was closed. I remember looking at a Pizza joint but decided to give it a miss. After walking up and down the block a few times its straight to Maccas. Stuff it, who can be bothered to search for decent food at this time of night.

We enter Maccas as if I’ve been homeless for a week and need any food I can get. I approach the counter and order a large big mac meal followed with a 6 pack. Americans tend to give you a huge serving regardless. Their small is our large so can you image what their large is like?

After scoffing everything down I realise I just spend 15 US on maccas. That’s like $20 AU. What the hell was I thinking?

I struggle out of maccas and spot a convenience store close by. So I head towards the convenience store to stock up on some medicine. Anything right now would be good. My throat is still killing me and I’m starting to develop a cough. I manage to grab some drugs in the drugs store when I spot the Junior Mints. Oh my god most of you all know I’m a huge Seinfield fan and the Junior Mint episode was one of my favorite so I grab the biggest box I can.

I lined up to pay at the cash register and by this time I’m dead exhausted and want to go shower and sleep for a week. I think I can sleep non stop for a week without food now. I have my drugs anyway. Standing in line this nutcase of a guy comes running in front of me demanding to cut the queue as he is running late for work. He wants to jump in front to pay for his gum. I’m too tired to argue at this point and let him in front of the queue. The only problem was our queue wasn’t progressing.

I spend over 10 minutes waiting in queue so that the bloody cash register people can serve me. Some how the fucked up cash register guy screwed up a sale and was trying to fix his mistake. How long does it take you fuckwit. As if this wasn’t enough now I had the nutcase in front of me complaining that he was going to be late for work and all he wanted was a gum. I should have shoved the gum up his ass. Fuckin if you know your going to be late for work, don’t stop for bloody gum. I’m sure you can live without the gum.

This got better when the nutcase gum wanter convinced the guy to pay for him. He would pay the guy to pay the guy at the cash register. This caused a huge scene, as they didn’t know the price of the bloody gum. So the guy offered to give $2 US for the gum but the other guy didn’t want to keep the change. So both nutcases waited at the cash register to be served. Finally they got served and the guy brought his gum before bolting out of there. Fuckin have your bloody gum now.

I pay for my stuff and leave the convenience store thinking this world is fucked when some lunatic goes to work late because of gum. If it was junior mints I can understand but gum? Walking back to the hotel I spot TICK TOCK!!! A very lit up diner next to the hotel on the right hand side.
Picture - Tick Tock Diner next to the New Yorker

How the hell can I miss the diner? I could of paid $20 for a burger with salad instead of that maccas stuff. Too tired to care I enter the hotel and up to the room.

Back at the room I felt so lucky to be staying here. The room was amazing. Nice and big with plenty of room to move around. Finally a fridge and air con that actually works. More importantly a shower with water and great water pressure. I think the shower was the best part. All the showers in Turkey and Greece lack the comfort. I ended up flooding most of the showers there due to the tiny shower curtains they had.

I leave the shower to find myself lying on my double size bed. I think I past out before I can say a word. I was so tired due to lack of sleep and food that I was ready to sleep for a week.

I'm in NEW YORK!

As soon as the plane came to a complete stop, belts were off, people were shoved out of the way and it was full speed to get off this fuckin plane after what I had been through, I was tempted to find a meal to shove against that woman’s face sitting behind me. What kind of a sick person lets her kid cry for 8 hours straight. They should turn her into a Kosher meal for crying out loud.

I jump off the plane in panic and excitement as I realise that I’m in NEW YORK!!!!

I race across to passport control where I hear the kid screaming its lungs out again. Thinking the bitch is back behind me I notice that she’s like on the other side of the airport but god the kids scream was still reaching me. It was almost like it had been a permanent sound drummed into my ears.

I approach the passport control area and get my fingerprints taken. I can’t remember if they took my photo again. I don’t think they did as this was taken last year in 2004.

Next stop was to grab the bags before the transfer. I ended up waiting for my bag right next to some old bags who couldn’t get their bags off the wheel. So it was me to the rescue. God I hate being a nice guy at times. I should have shoved all the old bags out of my way to get my bags. Instead I stood there grabbing their bags off the wheel for them. Some of them were heavy as hell. I got my finger caught in one suitcase and it somehow ended up bleeding all over it. Stupid bitches get your own bags from now on. I got all shitty and stormed off to the other side waiting for my bags. Inconsiderate people making me lift their bags. It’s not like I carry a first aid kit around.

Now I thought I was travelling with a lot of bags. This is when I spot a guy loading his trolley with bags and bags. At some stage some airport guy decided to help him out and I think he ended up with 10 suitcases . God I’m so convinced that I’m travelling lightly now.

I found the bags and stormed out of there ready for a shuttle transfer. While waiting near the door I spot a Krispy Kremes that excites me. It’s been ages since I had one but the thought of having one that is left over scares me to death. I assume that I will be able to find plenty in the next few days. Besides I’m starving, I really should have dinner soon.

The transfer guy rocks up and packs our bags into the shuttle bus. Our bags end up right at the back and I stupidly decide to give him my camera bag as well to store in the back of the van. I jump into the van and there is only one other guy sitting there. Thinking this should be good, as we will only do one other stop it all comes crashing down on me.

We drove from our terminal to another terminal to pick up more passengers. Another two dicks jumped on board and then we hit another terminal. This went on until we hit terminal after terminal. I think we went through 5 or 6 terminals before the van was packed to the max. Our luggage was taking up most of the room so the transfer guy kept packing more and more bags on top trying to squeeze as much as possible. The back window was fully covered, I lost site of my camera bag and worried that some inconsiderate pricks suitcase would be on top of and break it. The luggage started to overflow the back seat where I was sitting as well. By the time the transfer van was packed, it took like an hour. Oh my god I could have been settled into my place by now. I was starving and we hadn’t even left the airport. God thoses Krispy Kremes look good now. Finally the van takes off and we start to see the New York streets.

By this time I was seriously tired and stressed. All I wanted was a quite trip to my place but instead the van freaks got me more abusive then ever. The Asian guy sitting in the front seat thought he was the tour leader. He wouldn’t shut the fuck up for one minute. We got a site commentary by him and at one stage I was ready to open the front door, grab him by the neck and throw him to on coming traffic.

The two clowns sitting behind me decided it would be a great trip if they clicked their fingers and knees to the radio for amusement. I’ll rather chop their fingers off with a knife and feed it to them. I just spent 8 hours listening to a screaming kid without sleep, the last thing I need is some lunatic clicking his fingers in my face.

When we started to hit the New York City center we got stuck in major traffic. I was tempted to cut the fingers off and feed them to myself by this stage. I was starving. I needed food. Thankfully someone had lollies in the van which I used to satisfy myself with.

Somewhere along the road we dumped the Asian tour leader wannabe before some other guy in the van decided to throw a tantrum about us being stuck in traffic. Its not my idea either you know mate. I don’t exactly like being stuck in this van with you. The guy insisted that he wanted to get dropped off somewhere here so that he can walk to his place. He thought walking would be quicker than this van and he was right. In his circumstance he had only a hand carry bag. I like to see me do it with suitcases and hand carry bags. Besides its not like I know the City.

Suddenly the guy started screaming. I thought he was about to pull out a gun the way he carried on. He started screaming pull the van to the side of the road. I’m getting out. I’ll get home faster if I walk. God man get out before you have an attack and slaughter us to death. The guy jumps out of the van and starts his marathon.

Luckily the next stop was The New Yorker, where I was heading. The van pulls to the side of the road and I can’t push and shove people out of my way fast enough. The minute I jump off the van I take a deep breath and realise I’m in New York.

A quick glance around me and I spot the busy streets of New York, the famous yellow taxi’s and of course the shinning lights of the New Yorker. We drag the bags out of the van after knocking half the others that were piled on top. I tip the guy and race inside to check in.

The Screaming Kid

Jump on the plane to pop another motion sickness tablet. While sitting on the plane one of the flight attendants decides to question the people sitting behind me if they will move or not so that a family can squeeze in the back seat. The guy sitting near the window refuses at first as he likes his window seat and doesnt want an aisle seat. The others decide to swap giving room to a woman, her mother and the bloody kids.

Now some how this family all got split up. I'm assuming they didn't check in early enough. So the father had one of the kids with him while the mother, grandmother and two of the kids decided to make the seat behind me their home for the flight. Since the two pricks sitting behind me swapped seats for individual seats the family from hell decided to settle behind me.

As soon as the plane took off one of the kids behind me started crying. The kid was in the mothers lap and kept screaming her head off while kicking the seats in front. The kid wouldn't stop crying. It went on and on. This then broke into a chain reaction as the other kid who was with the grandmother started to cry as well. Before I could get out another motion sickness tablet its a big crying scene behind me. I wanted to turn around and slap all of them until they all shut the fuck up. I dont think the mother was trying her best to shut them up. I think it was like music to her.

Speaking of music, thank god I had a headset which I threw on immediately to try and block the noise away from. I turned up the music full blast to only still hear this bastard crying in the background. Nothing seemed to help as the kid insisted on kicking the seats and crying the entire trip.

The motion sickness tablets werent helping. Maybe I should pop a whole box to cut this crying out. I really don't know how much more I could possibly take with theses kids. I finally decide to watch some Drew Barrymore film on the movie channel to block things out when the mother behind me starts screaming something about us moving the seats forward because her kid is trying to sleep and needs room. Before I could get my handphones off all I heard was screaming in the lines of " I NEED SLEEP TOO YOU KNOW". I thought I'll stay out of this one as someone was extremely pissed off and me getting involved would probably have us all kicked off this flight. The kid was seriously on the verge of being straggled to death. The guy sitting on my right had his IPOD on the entire time and tried buring himself into the music like the rest of us.

This continued on for the entire 8 hours of the flight. The kids crying and kicking the seats. The fucken bitch mother didnt move from her seat. I think she should have been stabbed to death for putting me through that.

To add to all of this was the fucked up grandmother. Every time the bitch decided to get up from her seat she would grab my seat and the guy sitting on my right's seat. She would pull on the two seats to bring herself up, sending our seats back and when she finally got up she would let our seats go making us spring forward. I seriously didnt know how much more I can take of this shit.

I turn to my left with someone mumbling crap in their sleep, I turn to my right with a guy on his IPOD about to commit murder, behind me I have the family from hell. AHHHHHH
At one stage the bloody father came to check up what the bloody fuss was about. I had the nerve to get up and tell the prick to collect his kids so we can all get some sleep on this flight as Im on the verge of murdering the whole lot of them.

This only got better when the fucked up mother refused the meals the flight attendant offered as she wanted a Kosher meal. She didn't order or request a Kosher meal previously and some how thought she would be presented with one on the day.Who the fuck rocks up on a plane demanding a Kosher meal? Who knows that they want a Kosher meal and doesn't order one beforehand? I dont even know what a Kosher meal is. All I know was that there was an episode of Seinfield in which Elaine's meal got eaten by someone else and she had a Kosher meal tossed at her.

So after the fuss the mother caused she refused the kids to eat any of the meals. The poor kids had only orange juice for the 8 hour period. Man for that I would be crying my eyes out. Thoses kids were starving to death. It was like the poor kids were forced into doing a 8 hour hungry strike. Its not like the mother had a hidden picnic basket under the seat to help them out.

You know what I dont know where any kid gets the energy to cry for 8 hours straight. I think I would pass out by the 2nd hour. Before we were landing the Kids stop crying for a split 2 minutes. This was heaven. There was no noise. The best part was that they had taken our headsets and any noise now would kill me.

As the plane landed so did the kids crying begin again. I need to get off this plane ASAP.

One Sexual Search

The plane lands in Frankfurt and trust me I was more than glad to get off that plane after what I just went through. That was the longest 4 hours of my life. I don't even remember a TV on that flight. So it wasn't like I could keep myself occupied.

Got off the plane to only realised that the gate for New York is on the other end of the airport. That would be right. I go through this every year. I'm waiting for the next delimma when they tell me that the flight is overbooked.

So I race over to catch the air train to the gate and this is where it gets complicated. Managing to drag the hand carry bags, its a bit of a climb to find the train itself. When I finally find the train its an entire marathon from the train to the boarding gate.

I arrive at the security check area to see a huge line. The problem is that the connecting flights are always within a short period of time. Everyone is running to get to their flight. I keep checking my watch to make sure I still have time.

When I finally walk up to security check I realise that they don't have the security machines but hand held metal detectors in place. The guy asked me to spread my legs out, so I do as he wishes. The next thing I know he shoves the metal detector between my legs at a fast speed causing serious pain near the testicles. He then demands I turn around as he feels my butt and legs. God I'm getting slighly sexually abused don't you think? He might as well shoved the metal detecter up my ass to search for drugs.

After the search, I slowly grab my bag and continue my way to the departure lounge in no condition to talk. After a short wait in the departure lounge I board the plane to New York. Thinking this will be a good 8 hour flight where I can catch up on some sleep.

Luftansa wake up scream!

I popped a motion sickness tablet on the plane and I think as soon as the plane took off that I was starting to drift into sleep. It's hard to explain the feeling but I was seriously half asleep but I could still hear everything going around me.

This was all good until suddenly I jumped out of my seat when the plane hit turbulence. Some how the plane seriously dropped around 15m from the sky. To make things worst some inconsiderate person screamed her lungs out next to me. I stepped into panic mode from A. The HUGE drop, B. The inconsiderate person screaming next to me.

This wasn't any scream. Trust me! It was like this person was being stabbed in 15 spots at the same time. I think my ear went numb for the next 20 minutes. My ear drums were playing musical chairs in there. For a minute I thought I was about to die. The drop from the sky was so big and I have never experience this before. I have done many plane trips but this was the first huge drop I had.

Luckly this only continued for a few minutes but I was so screamed to fall back asleep. My theory was if the plane was falling I would want to be awake for it. God knows why. It's not like I could do anything about it.

Before the plane landed the flight attendant started to serve a meal. I got excited with the idea. When she placed the container on my tray I nearly burnt myself to death. The bloody thing was hot as. I open the container up to discover macaroni and cheese. For crying out loud people. I pay all this money and this the stuff you serve me!

I eat as fast as possible as we are landing shortly.

GOODBYE ISTANBUL

We talked about it, we planned it, we came up with a strategic plan to set it into motion, we had all the area mapped out and covered. We knew once the sun rised what needed to be down!

We jump out of bed, race to the breakfast hall, steal all the honey we could because were sick as dogs. We dump the honey into the room only to race back down. Not to the breakfast hall but across the streets to do a shop analysis. We need to purchase EVERY bottle of ice tea possible. My throat is extremely bad so the only thing that I can seriously swallow is lemon ice tea. Its the only thing that makes my throat feel good.

We make the purchases and log god knows how many bottles back to the hotel room. I start to pack some things while Nagasaki starts to mumble something about spending the rest of her turkish money. I can't remember how much money was left but I wanted to slam the money into her throat and make her swallow it.

I continue to pack while Nagasaki is gone for a good 20 minutes. When Nagasaki returns all I hear is that she did happy laps in front of the leather store opposite Sude Konak. Apparently she thought it would be a good idea to tease the store owner by treating front of his store as a catwalk. Eventually the guy got excited and rushed out to approach Nagasaki when Nagasaki stepped on it and raced back to the hotel room. What the fucks that happen?

This is when I explain to Nagasaki that if she wants any handbags from the leather shop our bellboy can score a huge discount. Nagasaki thinks about this for a split second only to realise that the bags are disgusting even though she spent the morning walking up and down the front shop.

Nagasaki's indecisivness was starting to take its toll when we decide to go downstairs with our suitcases. It was a final farewell to all. We quickly come up with a plan to drag all our suitcases into the elevator to avoid giving anyone a tip just for spite to the Erboy bitch and her hotel. As soon as we got downstairs, Nagasaki ran to open the door as I started dragging suitcases out of the hotel. Meanwhile Bellboy caught site of us and raced over to help. How bad is that. The bellboy from another hotel helping us. In your face Erboy bitch!

We manage to get to the front steps of Erboy when we realised some stupid van has parked in the middle of the street and blocked access between Erboy and Sude konak. So we decide to camp out on the footsteps of Erboy waiting for the transfer guy.

Finally the transfer guy rocks up and starts loading our bags into his van.This is when Nagasaki starts to have a heart attack thinking that bellboy is coming to the airport as well. Bellboy in the transfer van only means one thing - Grand Prix!

Bellboy was working so he couldn't come. We do our final farewells before Nagasaki takes one last look at the leather shop from far away.

The transfer guy pulls into the airport bay and we unload our bags before thanking him. Its weird how people you rarely know start to grow on you. Even though we only spent limited time with the transfer guy he somehow managed to gain alot of blog spot and become apart of our lives.

Luckly the transfer this time round was safe and at a reasonable speed. The next few minutes is still a blurr in my mind. I think I was quite upset to be leaving Istanbul again. Its a weird feeling not wanting to leave but knowing you have to. We somehow managed to drag all our suitcases and by now there was 4 of them plus two hand carry bags across the road and into the airport terminal. I don't know how.

We managed to get our bags scanned before finding a trolley to stack up the 6 bags to check in.When we found our counter some guy started to chat to us. I can't remember what he wanted but it was to sign up for something. I remember refusing to sign up for anything as I was leaving the country and he got pissed off and left. Nagasaki reckons he wanted us to carry drugs across the countries. I doubt that was the whole issue but I seriously cant remember.

We check in and separate inside. I race to the nearest CD shop of course. I realised that I still have some CD shopping inside me that needs to let loose. Besides its a long flight from here to New York now.

Sitting at the boarding gate I realise that I have some credit left in my Turkish sim card. So I immediately without thinking dial Cherry's number. Sitting in a departure lounge with people smack bang next to me I try my hardest to soften my abuse to Cherry.

I get her voice mail and leave a nice message. After I hang up I realise I still have more credit. I quickly dial the number again and leave another message until my credit is used. I feel satisfied and by this time I'm ready to board the plane.

I board the flight to Germany with Luftansa Airlines. The plane is to go to Frankfurt to switch planes to New York. This should be interesting as Frankfurt airport is a BIG MESS!!!

Last Night in Istanbul - What a rat!

I wake up in a panic and gaze around the room to see a missing Nagasaki. Thinking Nagasaki is still in the toilet doing whatever the hell for the past two hours I lie there trying to calm down. I finally get up to check on Nagasaki when I spot the bathroom door open and no Nagasaki inside. I race back to my bed to find my phone. Thinking Nagasaki has been kidnapped I spot a note on Nagasaki's bed reading that due to lack of sleep Nagasaki thought it would be a great idea to head to the Grand Bazzar again even though we just came from there.

So I message Nagasaki to get her ass back here so we can go out, while I jump into the shower. I get out of the shower and change while Nagasaki storms through the door with 16 bags that are about to break someones back. Within miniutes Nagasaki got ready and we went downstairs and across to meet Bellboy for dinner.

Still feeling quite sick we decide to head to a restaurant that has soup. I tell bellboy to find us soup so the search begins. We hunt the streets for soup. We must look like idiots in the middle of summer requesting soup. We finally found a restaurant that had a setup on the street. The tables are scattered in the middle of the footpath. We manage to sit down and immediately requested soup.Before I could look at a menu bellboy had placed the entire order and then ran off to meet up with a friend. We sat there thinking what the hell have we ordered for crying out loud. Finally the waiter confirms the order and I find out we ordered two soups and two cheese pides. We decide to change one of the cheese pides as we feel sick of the idea of having all that cheese. Man I feel sick thinking about that now.

The food arrives and we start digging into the soup when we hear something fall from above and alot of screaming and commotion. This is when we notice a GIGANTIC rat running around while people are screaming their heads off.

We both practically jumped up and ran for our lives. We were disgusted. The rat ran across the footpath into some restaurant. We stayed waiting for bellboy to return. A few minutes later bellboy returns with this chick next to him. They join us at the table while huffing and puffing on their smokes.

Nagasaki gives me a dirty look and questions on whether the chick is a prostitude. What the hell? Nagasaki is convinced that bellboy went around the block to pick up a chick off the street hehe I explain to Nagasaki its a friend of his.

With all this excitement, we decide to get the hell out of their. We pay the bill and catch a cab to Taksim for one last time. Some how we end up at the door of My Day again special thanks to bellboy who loves the joint. We got refused entry and I was in total shock as the place was empty. This is when I find out that the joint isnt open yet thats why.

We do the next best thing. We enter a busy street and find a bar to go to. We end up climbing practically the habour bridge to get to this bar. I find myself standing ontop of a balcony that looks like its about to collapse due to being overcrowded.

Nagasaki, myself and the chick sit down while bellboy runs off. Bellboy's gone for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes... I think after 20 minutes he rocks up looking like he just gave birth to a baby. He mutters to me about being constipated and this isnt something I needed to know.

Meanwhile Nagasaki tells me that bellboy looks like his constipated. I practically spit my drink out at her. The night kicks off when bellboy tries to have a conversation with Nagasaki about Tugcen. As we all know bellboy has a slight obessession about Tugcen. The conversation consisted somthing along theses lines:

BellBoy - Tugcen
Naga - What?
BellBoy - Tugcen stay with me. Go home. No call. No good
Naga - You miss her?
Bellboy – Tugcen 4am want me milk
Naga – Tugcen asked you to milk her?
ME – No you nutcase. Tugcen made him boil milk at 4am for crying out loud

This is when we bursted in tears of laugher and the bellboy had no idea what we were laughing at and there was no way I was going to explain this one to him. This place was starting to annoy us so we get up and head to My Day again even though its still pretty early.

Bellboy starts chatting up the security guard and walks in. We follow when the security guard demands $10 entry off us. So I pay for both of us and head in. Bellboys asking what the fuss was about when I explain. Bellboy then explains that he paid for all of us and the guy shouldn’t of charged us again. So we head back to the door and cause a scene and get our money back. Then its straight to the bar for some drinks. Nagasaki and I were high on pills so we decided to give drinking a miss and seriously after Mykonos I don’t want to see alcohol right now.

We stroll to the backyard of My Day where the music is loud and pumping and slowly the crowd is building. We were too tired and sick to enjoy most of this. We sat down and watched some weird ass chick try and shake it. Her dancing was like some one having a fit. I think I was about to have a stroke watching her. She finally took some guy down with her and they ended up falling on the ground. You think she would learn to sit after this? Well she continued on until she took an entire table and two stools down the stairs. I watched in amazement as a table and two bar stools tumbled down the stairs.

Acting like nothing happen she looked at it rolling down and continued to dance. Her friends had to pick up the pieces. As amusing as this was I was leaving tomorrow and wanted decent amount of sleep so we decided to leave bellboy with his flame and head back to the hotel.

We started the famous Istikkal Cad walk when I noticed a CD shop open. With Nagasaki’s encouragement I stormed into the shop for some last minute CD shopping. Thinking I’ll only grab a few CDs to take with me the mission started. I started grabbing CDs like no tomorrow and piling them up in Nagasaki’s arms.

At one stage I lost Nagasaki’s face due to the CD stack in her arms. I couldn’t stop. I wanted to stop but I just couldn’t. I had crack totally and wanted the entire shop. Without thinking how the hell I was going to carry all of this to New York tomorrow I just get piling up the CDs in Nagasaki’s arms.

Before Nagasaki went tumbling down the store with my CDs we race to the cash register to pay. Nagasaki practically throws the stack onto the counter and I think the chick is impressed that they are about to make budget for the entire month. This is when Nagasaki gets caught up in the moment and decides to buy a Turkish CD as well. I'm disgusted that Nagasaki only buys one. Who gets caughted up in the moment and doesnt challenge me?

We walk out of the store with 17 CDs straight to the cab rank. Well we ended up hitting a few more CD stores that were open, only because Nagasaki encourage the operation.

We arrive at the hotel and I collapse onto my bed feeling exhausted as hell. I decide to nap while Nagasaki spends the entire night packing all the goodies she brought from the Grand Bazzar.

Off to New York tomorrow.....

Local Price VS Tourist Price

We turn the corner to find another jewellery store which Nagasaki spots a pair of earrings she wants. The guy takes one of the earrings off and weighs it. He tells us $15. Nagasaki offers $12 for the earrings when I have to but in to tell her that its $15 per earring. A total of $30 for both. This is when Nagasaki throws a tantrum on who gives a price for only one earring. The guy decides to avoid a scene at his store and agrees for $15 for both. Nagasaki buys the earrings and we storm off.

By this time we are both fed up shopping around for a jewellery box so we spot a store and Nagasaki decides to buy one for the hell of it. We question the price and the guy simply looks at us and says $15 in a harsh voice. We notice that it's going to be too hard bargaining with this guy as he seems to be in a shitty mood. So we pay the $15 and take the box to end it all.

By this time we had enough of shopping, well I did anyways. We catch a tram back to our hotel only to do a minor stop on the way. There's a souvenier shop a few metres down sude konak to which Nagasaki decided to buy half of the store.

Before I could say a word Nagasaki stocked up on all the Turkish teas possible. Nagasaki also buys a Istanbul tourist book. We walk to the register to pay and the shop keeper and I get into a conversation and the guy decides to ask me what price should he charge Nagasaki. Eiether the local price or the tourist price. The system here is that there is two prices for everything. If they spot that you don't know the price of something and your a tourist they will give you the tourist price. Locals know the prices of things so they tend to fight for the local price.

The reason he was asking me was because if he charged Nagasaki the tourist price this would benefit him and me. He would give me a cut on the side afterwards. Thats how things work around here. He probably thought I was like a tour leader taking her around the souvenier shops. My dad's brother does this for a living actually. He takes tourist to certain shops where the shop keeper charges them the tourist cost and later he revisits thoses stores and collects his cut from it. So maybe I should of benefitted from Nagasaki. I could of got from Turkish teas out of this situation hehe

Before heading to Erboy we stop at Sude Konak to speak to bellboy where we score some free drinks off him. After a quick chat we head to our hotel and by this time its past 5pm. I feel dead exhausted so I jump into bed and notice Nagasaki going into the bathroom.

I fall asleep......

There's a RAT!

Nagasaki decides to buy a Jewellery box to stash her jewellery into. So we enter this store where Nagasaki is scanning through several Jewellery boxes which are stacked all over the place. Finally Nagasaki finds a jewellery box to which is to her standard. She questions the cost when the guy responds with $130 or something. I notice the disgust in Nagasaki as she's about to break the jewellery box on top of the guys head, only its too expensive.

The guy points towards the cheaper pile where the jewellery boxes are around $50. This is due to the fact that the others are made from better wood and the quality doesn't compare anywhere near the cheaper ones.

While Nagasaki continues to look at the boxes I hear people screaming something about a rat. There's a huge commotion and I decide to try and listen to work out whats happening.
Nagasaki questions what the commotion is behind her when I ignore her to find out whats happening.

This is when I find out that a rat has crawled under the boxes that Nagasaki is looking at. Without switching Nagasaki into panic mode I decide to break the news slowly to her. So I slowly tell Nagasaki that there's a rat in the store. Nagasaki throws the jewellery box in her hand and grabs me from the arm and drags me out of the store in a high speed. For a minute I thought I was in a car race but stuck on the outside of the door being dragged around. I feared for my life. We come to a complete stop when Nagasaki continues to scream why didnt you tell me earlier.

We continue to walk when we hear more yelling down the isle. We think that rats are invading the grand bazzar when we find out that some idiot has spilled lamp oil all over the isle and if anyone lights anything a fire will start straight away. In a panic mode we storm off to find a safer area of the grand bazzar.

Grand Bazaaaaarrrr - Jewellery Guy, Pendant Guy, Keyring Guy & The leather handbag homeless woman

After the entire scraf guy incident it was time for me to stock up on Jewellery. So we head to my Jewellery guy from 2004 where I made several purchases from last year. I thought it would be nice if I buy my Grandmother and Mum something from here as a present.

While I'm trying to find presents Nagasaki decides to cause a scene and confuse the process by spotting a GIGANTIC necklance. Well its more like a pendant with a string around it. It's beyond me how the hell someone wears this. You would need back compensation for wearing this thing. Before I could open my mouth, Nagasaki is strolling around the store with the necklace doing cat walk moves.

This is when I question the guy on how much this necklace is. The guy tells me $130. I'm ready to rip the pendant off Nagasaki and throw it across the counter. I slowly break the news to Nagasaki who was enjoying the cat walk. Within a split second Nagasaki takes the thing off and practically throws it herself. I've never seen someone take a necklace off so fast. I think we were both disgusted with the price that the Jewellery guy must have noticed and immediately slashed the price as a favour to me. The next price was $85. I explain this to Nagasaki who just wanders off without a word. I think she was ready to spit on me for even mentioning $85.

I continue to choose my presents when Nagasaki storms back into the store. The Jewellery guy notices that Nagasaki is ready to spit on both of us with the price disgust. He then questions Nagasaki on whether she like the necklace or not. Nagasaki stupidly says yes but the bloody thing is too expensive. The Jewellery guy pulls out his calculator and pretends to do some maths before he decides to break down the price further by separating the items. The jewellery guy proposes that Nagasaki can simply buy the pendant instead of the whole set. The breakdown follows that the pendant will cost $45 and the piece of string will be $30. I practically swallow my tongue. The funny part is the whole set was $85. If Nagasaki brought them separately then she would pay $75 for the set. Like what the ?

I'm trying to concentrate on buying my presents while Nagasaki decides not to buy the necklace. As she stands there looking completely lost the jewellery guy continues to slash the price. We find out that his wife has just gone into labour and his waiting on news to here that his going to be a father again.

I finally decide what to buy when the Jewellery guy yells $55 at Nagasaki. She continues to stand there looking lost and has no clue what the hell is going on. When she realises that his talking about the necklace she quickly opens her wallet without thinking twice and forwards a $50 note. This is when it hits her that shes paying for it but hasnt really processed how much it was. She continues to question how much it is when the Jewellery guys eyes light up. He takes the $50 and ends the bargaining process. At the time we thought we did well but later realised that if we continued standing there and looking lost that we could have got it for $30.

With the Jewellery guy out of the way there was several other items which I wanted to buy as presents for people at home. I figured it would be cheaper getting in Turkey then dealing with it in the US. So we decide to come up with a quick plan so that Nagasaki would do all the bargaining process as she's good in throwing random tantrums.

I wanted to buy bracelets for my male cousins and something for my parents. So we decided that if I liked something I would yell to Nagasaki that her parents or brothers would like that to which she would step into bargaining status and finalise the purchase.

This was all good and well but drama's developed on the way. I saw a lighter my dad would like with the Istanbul bridge on it. I yelled out to Nagasaki saying your dad would like this. This is when Nagasaki screams her lungs out "My dad doesn't smoke". Talk about stuffing up the plan. Nagasaki soon realises the mistake and questions how much the lighter is when we decide to throw it back and keep walking.

I came across a pendant which I liked and told Nagasaki that her sister would like this. The pendant was priced at $20 but the guy dropped it to $15. Nagasaki stepped into bargaining process and offered $10. This is when the guy practically beat the shit out of us and threw us out of the store yelling at us "You don't have to buy it if you don't like it". Like what a complete lunatic. Why would we bargain for it if we didn't like it. Who goes around bargaining for things they don't like? Maybe I should do that next time.

We practically run out of that store and somewhere along the line I remember to buy my mum shawls that she wanted. We end up buying a few and Nagasaki pretends to buy it all for her mum.

With all this shopping we had to stop for a piss stop. After walking out of the toilets I see a stand with keyrings so I hit it. This all happen really fast that we didnt get a chance to bargain. The guy said the keyrings were $4 each so we started walking off before he yelled out to us. He said 5 for $10. I took $10 out of my wallet and he reached and grabbed the first 5 keyrings he found and shoved them into a bag and handed the bag to me and snached my money. I walked away not knowing what keyrings I had brought.

By this time I was tired and hungry. Still trying to recover from feeling sick. We head to this resturant in the grand bazaar and sit ourselves down. We start ordering things off the menu only to realise that 90% of the menu isn't available. Why the hell give me a menu then? There was seriously no food left or they hadn't cooked it.

The waiter decides to take me to the kitchen to see what food I can actually have. My throat was killing me so I decided to order any soup they had.We ordered lentil soup and loved it. I don't know if it was because we were both still sick or the soup actually tasted that good. We also ordered pide and salad but couldn't be bothered leaving the soup.

While sitting at the resturant we notice a homeless woman with her daughter walk to the resturant begging for food. The owner shoves a kebab roll into their hands and they wander off eating their kebabs to a store. This is when Nagasaki yells omg the homeless woman has a leather handbag. Then we notice that her little daughter has a leather hand bag. Were left in shock that a homeless woman goes begging with leather hand bags. Who the hell goes begging with leather. The funny part people actually feel sorry for them and give them freebies.

Were decide to leave the resturant as soon as we eat as we can't stand the machine noise thats going on. I thought that my ear was about to rip off at one stage.

Final Round OF GRAND BAZAAR - SCRAF GUY

After my disappearing bank I managed to find another ATM to withdraw some cash out of. With cash in my pocket we jumped onto the tram to get off smack bang outside of the Grand Bazaar. Thank god we didnt walk. It's so much easier just paying a buck to get there.

We race inside like homeless people looking for food. Our eyes are wide open and we just want to buy anything for the hell of it. Looking back now I'm thinking we were targets for the shop owners.

Our first aim is to find the scraf guy again to do some unneccessary purchases. Some how I always get caught up in the moment with the scraf guy and end up buying another scraf which I really don't need. Along the way to the scraf guy we stop in front of a shoe store where Nagasaki wanted to buy shoes. I think Nagasaki pockets some puma shoes for $25. At the time we thought we did well for that price but we convince ourselves we got ripped off later down the track.

After the shoe bargaining we find the scraf guys shop only to find him missing. Some other guy was looking after the shop. Feeling disgusted and betrayed by this situation we do happy laps around the store until we spot him coming our way.

Before I could order tea, Nagasaki is holding half the rack. I'm left in shock when I notice that Nagasaki has veils, kid's bellydancing costumes and theses arm band things that go with the costume piled up. I look for a chair to sit when I notice that the bargaining process is about to start. For the next few minutes I hear random figures being thrown left right and centre. $80 is the kick off. Then I hear a $60, then $80, $65, $70, $65, $70, NOOOO $65...
God it's like an auction in here.

This went on for a while until my tea came. Finally Nagasaki managed to score it for $65.
Handed the Scraf guy $70. The scraf guy thought Nagasaki agreed on $70 minus the fact the wallet was open waiting for change. With a disgusted look on his face the scarf guy looks at me and says " I can't believe she's waiting for $5". I'm too tired to argue while holding the camera. Then Nagasaki yells that the $5 is lunch money.

This is the final farewell with Scraf guy as we tell him that we are leaving Istanbul. He pulls out his business card and slams it into my hand, hoping to do some business once I return home. Some where along the line a whole photo shoot comes about and the scraf guy and Nagasaki are posing. I press the button on the camera to notice that I'm actually filming and not taking a photo. Damn I forgot to turn the knob to photo mode, it was still in video mode. Luckly as I got a short clip of the scraf guy saying "My wife will be Jealous" as he smooches Nagasaki. Realising this isnt enough for my liking we re-do some photos before storming off.

Farewell Scraf guy!!!