A meze of Cyprian Words

Cyprian Word ---> English meaning --->Turkish meaning

Agoni ---> Grandchild ---> Torun

Bavuri ---> Water bottle ---> Kucuk bidon

Cakisdez ---> Green Olivies ---> Yesil Zeytin

Gabira ---> Toasted bread ---> Kizarmis

Gologas ---> Food ---> Yemek

Mangos ---> Furious --->Azgin

Wog Eye for the Skip guy

Turn a SKIP into a WOG

Every Shane, Henry and Joe wants to be a wogboy. So whats the trick? Start taking notes...

The hair & The clothes

If you own a nose trimmer lose it immediately. Remember the more hair the more chicks! For all those aussie blokes still bleaching their hair and running around in ripped jeans and flannelette shirts, make note that only Shannon Noll can pull that off.

Get with the wog shops and dump your "Best and Less" and "Target" gear. Visit our WOG clubs such as Vespa, man 2 man, glue or Tarotrash. If theses brands are too expensive then sell one of your gold chains to pay for your new image. Then head to the nearest hairdresser and dye your hair back to an original wog colour - black.

Lose the name
Unless your looking for a shazza your not going to get anywhere with the name Fred. Lose your name and woggynise it. Turn Fred into Federico. Ben can become Benvenuto.......Henry - sorry bro but you've got no hope.

The music
There’s still some hope in turning you into a wog boy. Lose your Nova and Today FM stations and upgrade to some foreign ethnic stations. Throw out those lamingtons and pick up a nice ricotta cannoli, get rid of those Shannon Noll and Kylie CD's and go for a trip to Leichardt and buy up big on Profumo Italiano remixes or head to metropolis music store in Earlwood for some funky greek zorba music.

The WOG scene
If you have met all of the above criteria then its time to head into the wog scene. Head down to Norton Street in your new Vespa just out of malta design shirt and go to the hotel there. You are now in Italy centrale. Once inside order a Roso Antico with lemonade, people will automatically think your at least half wog.

To convince them make sure you touch your balls every time some one looks at you. After your drink, head onto the dance floor to shake your wog booty. Start doing the zorba to some RNB music before starting a Halay to exit the building in a fast getaway.

The wog lap of fame

Last of all jump back in your ride and cruise down the hume towards home. Listen to some Anna Vissi to relax your excitement about your new out look on life. Don't forget to stop at krispy kreme to do a lap or ten and get all the other losers to video tape your car and sick mags. Flash them one of your hairy nipples before hitting the highway to your woggy neighbourhood.

The Bondi Flasher...

Watch out for the collision behind...
Nautiboy Productions
The Tart that caused a traffic jam

For all thoses that were listening to 2day fm on Monday they would know what I'm on about. This tart here caused a massive traffic jam in Bondi Junction. Our blonde bombshell here is a 2day fm employee. She made the mistake of saying I'll do anything for a contract .

Of course Kyle took this upon himself and sent her out to the corner of Oxford and Old south road in a robe. Standing on a corner with a robe and a moblie while she was on air, drivers listening to the station immediately headed down to see her when she took the robe off.

As most of you all know I am now working in Bondi, I was one of these poor people who got stuck in traffic as cars were going crazy around the block to see her. What does one do? Of course I started beeping so traffic would move so I can get a glimpse of the action.

What happen? This woman kept going around the block to see the blonde bombshell and then called the station up to congratulate her. Like what the ??? As this wasn't enough before you knew it the cops were coming for her. So what does Kyle do? Call her up and tell her to run to NOVA! hehehe

Oh and thanx's to this blonde bombshell two of my staff memebers were late to work...

hehe
Nautiboy Productions

The Ass....
Nautiboy Productions

Hmmmmmmm.......
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The Bondi Flasher
Nautiboy Productions

Bondi Junction
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Michael Buble

How Michael Buble faked it...
Nautiboy Productions

My friend Cherry (Her name had to be changed due to the fact that she’s under a mental institution protection program) and I decided to turn up to a Michael Buble signing at Myer last week. After waiting in a queue for about 2 hours we were pretty up close to the centre stage.

When we got to the signing table cherry went ahead first. She asked Michael buble to smile for a close up photo for her so he did. My turn came and I was taking a photo, well I tired to take one and realised that I was actually taking an mpeg. Anyway after we left we compared pictures. This is when Cherry decided to throw a big tantrum when she realised that Michael actually faked a smile at her while he gave me a natural smile.

The poor girl has spent all her life wanting to meet the guy for a photo opportunity and what does she get a fake smile. Which inconsiderate person gives Cherry a fake smile? Does he not realise that she has been in a queue for 2 hours with a bunch of wacko’s who have been camping out all day? Most importantly who fakes a smile? Obviously Cherry wasn’t worth a smile so he faked it. This has been one faking incident…

Meanwhile the guy standing behind us wouldn't leave us alone. He insisted that we send him the photos we had taken. When we asked if he had an email address he said he didn't. For fucks sake who doesn't have an email address theses days? Even my 75 year old grandmother has one hahaha

Anyway so he dragged us to the nearest photographer to print out some of our shots. So we went to priceline and actually processed the pictures our selves. Meanwhile we found out that the guy is actually a radio announcer at 99.9FM. I wonder if we should have proposed our pop the cherry show to him....?

The Note...

The Note that freaked me out...
Nautiboy Productions

The other day I walked to my car to find this note on it. It freaked me out as the night before I had a dream where someone was stalking me. For a minute I thought the dream had turned into reality.

After picking up the note from my windscreen I turned around to check if someone was watching me. For fucks sake who leaves a note saying you know who I am, call me. How the hell am I supposed to know who you are. I have a stalker out there somewhere........