MYKONOS - THE STRUGGLE STARTS...

I practically tumble out of bed this morning at the sound of loud banging on the door. Someone is trying to open our door. I’ve only had a few hours sleep and cant think straight. Lucy’s tumbling out of bed as well as we both realise it’s the cleaning lady. What the fuck does she want this early in the morning. Wait its mid day. Recap we went to bed at 6am. Need to think, need to think…

I open the door and allow the cleaning lady in. I think I mumbled to her we don’t need cleaning but before I finished my sentence she was already in the apartment. She usually rocks up in the afternoon to take rubbish and all but since its day 4, she’s here to change linen. All I know is that its before midday and I cant think straight.

In boxer shorts, I decide to open the balcony door since this woman needs the room to change our bed sheets. I swing open the balcony door and take one foot out to realise I am blinded. What the fuck is happening. Everything is white and has blurred my eye sight. I seriously cant see anything. I feel blind. All the building are white. You can't see jack shit out here.

God this is what its like in the morning in Mykonos. No wonder we don’t get out of bed till 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Standing on the balcony, unable to see jack shit I feel like vomiting. Preferable vomiting on the cleaning woman for waking me up this early in the morning.

The changing of the sheets seemed to take a whole year. Who the hell takes this long to change sheets? Lucy takes a look to inform me that the woman is making the beds as well. What the fuck for? Does she not realise were just going to jump back into bed? Where the hell did they find her? I swear this is my punishment for drinking so much last night!

Honestly this woman took a good 20 minutes in making these beds. By the time she was done I felt like a cooked roast in the sun. Stick a fork in me, I’m done!

The cleaning woman exit’s the room. One of us slams the front door shut and the other one slams the balcony door shut. All the bed sheets get pulled back out and we crash into bed.
Less than 2 hours later we both jumped out of bed because we couldn’t sleep. The stupid cleaning lady ruined it all. We decide to go searching for breakfast. I think this is the earliest we have woken up in Mykonos this trip.

We walked over to the crepe shop for breakfast. It was close to the apartment and I could do crepes right now. We strolled in and tried placing our orders. It would have been easier to rip out my kidney and fry it myself. The woman ordered her 7 or 8 year old son in making my cappacino.Honestly this is an incident waiting to happen. Knowing my luck the kid will burn himself and will have to take him to hospital.

Meanwhile the woman looked disgusted the minute we asked her for 2 crepes. I don’t know what her problem was honestly. The woman starts making the crepes while we stand there.

The Crepe Woman

Suddenly all the lights went out. it’s a blackout. What the fuck is this about now? I’m still half asleep and all I want is coffee for fucks sake. The woman announces that she cant take any orders or finish cooking ours as the electricity is gone. Since our crepes are half cooked are we obligated to wait or leave? We storm out of course.

Were stressing. There’s no electricity on the entire island. Does that mean we starve to death? We quickly discover one of the kebab shops has a gas stove and they are able to provide pita rolls. Pita for breakfast? I don’t have a choice. We immediately place orders. Its better than starving to death on this island.

Breakfast

Were munching away at a table outside of the pita shop when this van storms through the narrow streets of Mykonos and slams on its brakes. Next thing you know its starts reversing towards us. What the fuck? We practically throw what ever pita we had on to the plate and jump up to escape. The last thing I need is to be squashed to death on this island.

The death Van

I quickly take out my video camera to film to realise its still on night mode from last night. We do a quick filming session before deciding to leave the joint. This is an incident waiting to happen.
We start walking towards the $40 woman shop when a massive sheets comes tumbling down from one of the apartments above. What the fuck?

The Tabacco Woman with table cloth

I thought maybe some woman was throwing her husband out of the house and this involved his clothes flying out of the window but no it was some stupid woman trying to show off her table cloth. This island is starting to exhaust me.

The table cloth woman

We storm over to the $40 woman’s shop to realise she is no where to be seen. We decide to head towards the water for photos.



Walking around I decide to enquire where I can find a hairdresser now that the electricity is back. I think its time for a hair cut. We walk into Windmills who gives us instructions towards one. Lucy decides to head to the internet café a few doors down.

I head into hairdresser. The guy who’s cutting my hair is from London. His however living in Mykonos. I should do that for an entire summer haha The haircut is finished in less than 10 minutes as I decided to get most of it shaved off.

I rock over to the internet café to find Lucy practically making love to the computer. For a net addict she has done well not going near it in the past few weeks. I decided to sit down and check emails. I’m logged on for less than 5 minutes when bang the electricity is gone again. Another black out. I swear its me. What ever I touch while travelling turns against me.I approached the counter and paid the guy for the amount he demanded. Since there wasn’t much left to do and our legs were too tired to do happy laps around town we headed over to Mex café. It’s starting to hit 5pm and hence that’s our drink time.

5 O'Clock Drinks

Its not our fault that we couldn’t get coffee at Mex café and that we had to get wine instead. There's no electricity to work the coffee machine ok? We sit there while the waitress gives Lucy the dirties. I swear the woman has major issues with Lucy. I can see a ring fight coming on soon.

Mex Cafe Waitress

We like our Mex café because it’s the high traffic area for freaks. We sit there drinking away while we make fun of freaks. This is when we spot Mex Christine:

Mex Christine

Mex Christine dressed in designer mourning clothes parades around the area for our amusement. We seriously gotta stop drinking like this. We have a glass of wine at Mex Café and everything around us is hilarious.

We eventually leave Mex café to do happy laps. We do our usual $40 woman visit followed by Scary Canary. This is when I spot henna tattoos. I get excited at the thought and the next thing you know this Serbian woman is working on my arm. The Serbian woman and I exchange a lot of information about our lives during the whole process. Meanwhile Lucy who has a video camera in her hand is filming me. Well she’s pretending to film me when she’s really filming Scary Canary. You see the tattoo place was opposite Scary Canary’s shop.

Meanwhile I had two little brats standing there watching the whole process. They would have been around 6 or 7 years old. I was starting to get annoyed with them leaning in to stare. FFS get out of my face.

My Tattoo

To celebrate my new tat I grab a nutella crepe and I must say this was one of the best crepes I have ever had. It was so YUMMY!!! Warm and YUMMY...

Now that I had my make over - new haircut and a tattoo we decided to head back to the apartment for a nap. We snooze for a few hours to wake up feeling like shit. Lucy has this theory of the Mykonos Curse. Practically by day 3 were on pills and a lot of them. Lucy starts searching for her pills while I do the same. We pop a few and storm out for dinner.

We head to the Greek Tavern we first ever went to. I order a moussaka while Lucy goes for Kofte. Since we just popped pills we decide to have coke instead of wine.

Tzatziki

Moussaka

We finish dinner to continue doing happy laps around the town. Of course this means a stop over to the $40 woman, Scary Canary, Constipated woman and the crazy hat woman. We spot Scary Canary leaving her store. We have figured out that she finishes her shift around now and her daughter or grand daughter takes over. We were tempted to follow Scary Canary home but none of us had the energy. Instead we went back to the apartment to catch another episode of Je’taime.

We filled up our vodka bottles and headed towards Skandanavian bar since Je'taime got a bit to much for us. We rocked up to realise it was still early and we should do a few more laps. This is when one of the staff members stops us to question why we aren’t going in. Lucy thinks his hot but for some reason we don’t take a photo with him. Yes staff know who we are.

We do a few more laps before coming back to Skandanavian bar. We enter the bar downstairs to grab a shot of B52. What gets me is that the shots are 3 Euros where as a glass of wine is 6 Euros. Shots are cheaper than wine.

B52 Shots

We took a shot and entered upstairs to the bar. We immediately claimed our drink before making our way to the podium. We didn’t have to argue about this as we both knew we wanted the podium.

Within seconds we were dancing on the podium. Everything was so familiar. The usual podium crowd haha

Skandanavian Bar AGAIN......

My new Mykonos look with sunnies:

The special guest appearance by our Italian friend:


We danced away and drank our vodka hidden in our water bottles. We couldn’t be fucked heading to the bar so we drank it all. Lucy complained she was too trashed. We decided to head home but first we stopped for another B52 shot. We have to overdose!!!

B52 shot # 2

The below photo kills me. Everyone in the photo looks so shocked! haha

I don’t know why we skipped our pita roll tradition but I think we were both feeling quite sick and needed rest. We crashed the minute we got back into the apartment. Well right after Lucy throws up...