ONE HELL OF A TRAIN RIDE TO LA SPEZIA...

We woke up this morning to prepare for our own trip to La Spezia. We had pre-planned to catch a train from Rome to La Spezia in order to sightsee Cinque Terre. Cinque Terre was a place in Italy that we had heard so much about. It’s five villages linked closely together with amazing views and houses. We had read about it, we had heard about it therefore we knew we had to see it for ourselves.

After much argument as to which village to stay in we decided to avoid staying at the villages and to stay in La Spezia town. La Spezia is a 2 minute train ride to the first village - Riomaggiore.

We packed our suitcases and headed downstairs. We ran into cabbage Patch in the lobby who gave us the cold shoulder. Cabbage Patch was always cheerful in the morning but for some reason she seemed distant and uncaring today. Either she was disgusted with our tip or has been up since crack of dawn shifting the tour group to the airport that she couldn't give a shit anymore.


We continued walking to the breakfast room and to our surprise half the tour group were settled at a table munching away on their breakfast. So much to all the goodbyes we said last night. Here we are still surrounded by these people. I must admit I do miss Diane, Kath and Good Old. This tour wouldn’t have been the same without them. They were amusing and entertaining. Its funny how you get used to the people around you when you do a tour.

Lucy asked the waitress for two coffees. The waitress turned around & asked her "Americano?" Lucy responded with no, 2 espresso's please. The waitress jumped from joy. It was like we made her whole week by asking for espressos. What the hell is wrong with these people? I supppose all the Amercians wanted filtered coffee and here we are asking for local coffees.

After breakfast we headed back to our room to collect our luggage. We stormed back into the lobby with the suitcases demanding a taxi. The guy behind the counter kindly called a taxi for us. This is it. it’s a finally farewell to all the tour group members and to Rome.


The taxi arrives and we rush outside to shove all the suitcases into the cab. Once we fit all the luggage in, we jump into the cab for a short ride to the train station. What was meant to be a short drive seems to be a very long drive. I start thinking this guy is taking us around the block a few times. Apparently Lucy started thinking the same thing. So were both stressing that were getting ripped off again. We drive around Piazza’s that we have been to and question in our mind if this is the right way to Termini Train Station.


We eventually arrive to Termini train station and it seems right. The entire trip cost about 20 Euros, which is what we had been quoted by Cabbage Patch. We unload the suitcases, pay the cab driver and stroll into the train station.


The new challenge is to locate our train line. Once we do we pre-plan what food and drinks need to be brought before we board the train. We grab a croissant and sandwich each before looking for big bottles of water. Eventually we collate all the necessary items and head over to our train when Lucy sneaks in some bag shopping. Within 5 minutes Lucy has made a purchase and is the proud owner of a new Italian bag.

We arrive to the platform to notice our train parked and unattended. We stand opposite the train waiting for the train doors to open when some random person informs us that the train door we are standing outside of is broken. Apparently there is a sign in Italian communicating this. Since both our Italians are not fluent we do not pick this up. Just as well this guy told us otherwise we would have stood here for hours. Meanwhile the train doors open and everyone is storming inside. We look like the only idiots with 15 bags.

Lucy jumps on the train first as I start passing the suitcases to her. Trust me it sounds easier than it is. Luckily some random guy gives me a hand as I struggle with my suitcase. I cant believe that thing is so heavy.


We start walking down the train to find our carriage. Since our tickets are pre-booked we are given a carriage and seat number. When we locate our carriage we realised there is already 4 people in there and they have taken up most of the luggage space above. One of the guys quickly jump up to make space above when he notices our suitcases. Yes we travel light. Here come the next challenge. Actually lifting the suitcases onto the racks above the people. Knowing my luck I will probably drop one of the suitcases and kill someone in this carriage.

The four nutcases sat there watching us and not moving. We manage to get Lucy’s hand luggage as well as my little hand carry trolley onto the rack. We were pretty limited for space as it is. Now we had to some how manage to lift Lucy's suitcase up onto the rack. Here I was thinking one of the guys would get up and give me a hand but no, poor Lucy had to assist while we tried lifting her 20 kgs plus suitcase onto a rack while 4 nutcases are watching us. It's not like we have room to move in there as well. We eventually manage to slam Lucy's suitcase onto the rack. I should have let go of the 20kg suitcase so it can fall on top of the idiots sitting there. What kind of a sick person doesn't help. By this stage I had sweat rolling off my face.

Now we have my suitcase left. We try lifting this up as well but its too heavy and I realise there is no way we will get this onto the rack. If we do the rack will probably snap in half due to the weight. We drag my suitcase towards our seats. Luckily we have window seats so we can keep the suitcase against the window as well.

Above - Most of the rack is our luggage

Lucy was sitting opposite me. Now let me explain there is hardly any leg room once the suitcase is between us. In fact my left leg is jammed into the wall. This should be an interesting 4 hour train ride.

NV's leg room on the train

How did we end up here? Well let me explain. When we were looking at booking train tickets we ended up arguing over whether to go for first class or economy seats. We chose economy. Not because we are tight but because we had a theory.

I had told Lucy that Josh was gassed and robbed on a train in Europe. Some how we got our stories crossed. I was trying to explain this happened to Josh on a train going to Romania. The poor guy had his money, passport and everything stolen. This freaked Lucy out. She thought this happen to Josh on a train in Italy. So Lucy’s theory was if we go for first class the chairs will be too comfortable and we may fall asleep and get robbed. Instead here we are cramped to death in a small carriage with 4 other random people. There is no chance of us falling asleep. Lucy even stated she would sit on the train with a knife in your hand to protect us. I had a plastic knife in the front pocket of my suitcase if things got nasty. Well I don’t know how much damage a plastic knife can do. LOL

The first hour felt like 5 hours already. Lucy and I kept starring at each other speechless. As mentioned before we had 4 strangers in our carriage. 2 guys and 2 girls. I think they were a family of some sort. The guy next to me started falling asleep. Lucy and I panicked this would rub off on us. Maybe it was his way of making us sleepy. We needed a plan and a plan fast. Lucy pulled out her rose water spray. She apparently buys this in Singapore. Its smells like rose water and you spray it on your face. Its very refreshing and handy in hot humid days. Lucy starts spraying me and the guy next to me jumps up in a panic. I think he thought we were gassing the carriage. I don’t know how we avoided a laughing fit but we did.

Above - the sleeping guy next to me

2 hours later I’m ready to pull out what hair I have left on my head out. Its starting to hit lunchtime so I pull out my croissant and start munching away. The entire carriage then starts pulling out their lunch. I think I just made everyone in the carriage hungry. After my croissant I start munching on my sandwich.

Since everyone in the carriage is awake we decide to stand outside the carriage for a while. We spend a few minutes staring out the window while strenching. This is when we notice CHRISTINE wandering around the train…

CHRISTINE losted on a train

Lucy decides to go to the toilet while I head back in to watch our luggage. Seriously were determined something bad is going to happen on this train. I settled back into seat when Lucy comes strolling back. Apparently there is no water in the toilet and you can see the tracks below the toilet hole. Great this should be interesting. Intrigued by Lucy’s toilet story I decide to check out the toilet later.

3 hours later - I start to get excited as were nearly at the end of the trip. Lucy and I start pre-planning the move to the door and how its going to work. We figure we will move to the door a few stops before and once we reach our stop at La Spezia Lucy will jump out first as I will pass the suitcases to her.


In fact we even decide to time how many minutes the train stops for at one of the stops. According to Lucy’s watch we have approx 2 minutes to get all the suitcases and ourselves off the train. I think that’s plenty of time. Were satisfied with ourselves as we have a plan. Nothing can possible go wrong. Come on 2 minutes to get off the train - that’s plenty of time.


Another half an hour to go and we start questioning how many more stops to La Spezia. The family in our carriage don’t have a lot of English but we manage to communicate with them. Lucy asked the woman next to her how many more stops to La Spezia. She practically swore to us in Italian. None of us really understood what she said but we managed to pick up another 8 or 9 stops.


2 minutes later after the entire family had a chat within themselves in Italian, the guy sitting next to Lucy suddenly tells us that La Spezia is the next stop. In a mad panic Lucy and I stand up and start taking luggage down and out of the carriage. There’s no way we are going to miss this stop. We quickly drag all our luggage to the train door and wait patiently for La Spezia train station to appear.



10 minutes later we notice La Spezia train station as the train slows down. Lucy is near the train door ready to jump off once the doors open. I am standing behind her waiting to pass the first suitcase to her. The train stops. The train door doesn’t open. We noticed the other train doors open as people are walking off.


Lucy starts to panic slamming her hand on this button next to the door for the train doors to open. You see Lucy doesn’t usually panic so when she panicked I panicked. Lucy starts screaming “How do I open this, how does this thing work?”. I’m confused and panicking. Were going to miss our stop. I noticed the door is open on the other carriage through the sliding doors.

I scream to Lucy “Fuck it, lets go through the other door” as I slam on the button for the sliding doors to open. The sliding doors open and I start to drag the suitcases through the gate way when one of them topples backwards and falls onto some woman’s feet. I quickly go to grab the suitcase when the doors start to close. I start screaming thinking I’m going to lose an arm to get a suitcase. Lucy slam her hand onto the sliding door button and the doors open and my arm is rescued however at this point due to her panic she knocked over the other suitcase onto the womans foot.



Meanwhile the woman standing there watching us is yelling something at Lucy in Italian Next thing you know Lucy slams the train door button and the doors actually open. Lucy jumps down as I start to practically throw suitcase after the suitcase while I jump off my hand trolley. Lucy and I pull ourselves to the nearest seat and burst into laughter. What the fuck was that all about? The woman who copped my suitcase on her foot and yelled something at Lucy is poking her head out of the train door starring at us. She’s probably thinking what a bunch of lunatics those two are. Lucy managed to capture a photo of her. I call her our angel. She somehow came into the picture and rescued us. Knowing us we would still be stuck on the train.

We continue laughing for the next 5 minutes at what just happened. I don’t get it. We planned it so well that we had it down to the 2 minutes. How the hell we got trapped inside that train is still beyond me. What is wrong with us? We can't even open a train door.

Our Italian Angel...

We start moving inside the train station when we spot an information office. Lucy goes to investigate how to get to the hotel and Cinque Terre while I stand outside the office. While Lucy is away I meet this Asian couple who are from Sydney.

Lucy comes back to reveal all we have to do is go down a long set of stairs and were at our hotel.
We walk out of the train station, cross the road and see the long set of stairs - FUCK. There's over 50 steps here. It cant be that bad. All we have to do is take it slowly. 10 minutes later we are at the bottom of the stairs. We cross the traffic lights and our hotel is like 50 metres up. We enter the hotel and within minutes we are given a key to our room. The lift is tiny so we have to go up one by one. Lucy goes first to our level. I arrive to the third level to find Lucy confused and lost. All the rooms have 2 digits where as our key is a 3 digit number. Lucy heads back downstairs to ask why I start walking around. Before Lucy comes back up I spot the room in a deserted corner. Lucy opens the room and we start dumping all our luggage. Its already been a long day.


Our room isn’t bad for what we paid for. This place was very reasonable compared to the accommodation in one of the villages. We showered and relaxed for abit. At this point we noticed our air con was broken as well. We couldn’t get that thing to shut off when we decided to head out for dinner. It was luke a fridge in here as it is.

We started walking to the main square of La Spezia. La Spezia is a small town with a few shops and restuarants. It wasn't anything that impressive. In fact Lucy was pretty disgusted with it. LOL

Within minutes we saw our first freak. I think we thought she was homeless at first but then realised she’s a local.

Freak in La Spezia

We then saw our first sign of MYKONOS….





After a short stroll down the shops we decided to grab dinner at one of the restaurants. We immediately placed an order for a bottle of red wine. We needed this after the whole train incident. Were not alcoholics, it’s the circumstances that bring us to the bottle.

Much needed Wine




NV pouring more wine

We order calzones for dinner and snip away on our red wine when we spot a Kath look a like. OMG we miss Kath and her forest…

Chick in pink top = Kath look alike

Before the bill arrives we are completely trashed. In fact we don’t even know how we are going to walk back to the hotel. What the hell is wrong with us? We pay the bill and slowly get up. Lucy grabs onto my arm as we start to stumble towards the hotel. Were totally smashed, giggling and walking all over the place.

We do a minor stop at a supermarket to buy water. We grabbed the first bottles of water we saw. It is later that we discoverd that we brought frizzy water. Eventually we made it back to the hotel in our drunkin stage.

The minute we entered the fridge we start dialling. In time like this we need to call Christine. It takes us over 5 minutes dialling all the number. For fucks sake Christine the effort we have to go for you. We check the time and realise its 3am Sydney time. Its perfect. This is what follows:

Lucy - It’s voicemail I think - CHRISTINE CHRISTINE

Me - Is it her or is it voicemail

Lucy passes the phone to me…

Me - Christine I want to suck your nibble

I pass the phone back to Lucy

Lucy - E wants to suck your nibble badly. I miss Susan, Diane, Kath… How does this work, How do I open it?

Lucy gets a response and the call ends.

Lucy starts screaming I got a response, were out of money. We wasted 36 Euros. Christine wasted our 36 Euros.

This is when I start to question. Are you sure you didn’t call reception by accident? Lucy confused looks at me and screams "I got a response". Lucy decides to dial back to check our account balance. A few minutes later she reveals we have one unit left. Christine sucked up all our credit. Christine needs to verify if she got the message or not?

Lucy starts screaming that Christine sucked up all our credit and were not making anymore calls to Christine. Lucy indicates its due to Christine’s long voice message that were out of money!

This leads into a laughing fit and Lucy falls between the beds laughing her head off. I quickly fetch for my camera and take photos. This is too funny. Lucy is lying on the ground giggling while I take snap shots.

Once we pull ourselves together we discover Will and Grace on TV. Its in Italian but we decide to watch it anyway. it’s the episode where Karen is having a birthday party at home and Will, Jack and Grace are fighting in the bathroom. It was still hilarious in Italian.

I cant believe we got so trashed and it was only like 8pm. We eventually call it a night. We need our beauty sleep as there is a lot of sightseeing tomorrow.

Before crashing Lucy decides to set up our security system, since were no longer in 5 star hotels....

I complained how safe this hotel is and within seconds Lucy set this up:

I reckon if someone tried to open the door in the middle of the night and that fell onto the floor I would shit myself.....

Cinque Terre here we come……