SORRENTO BY NIGHT

The bus pulls into the hotel after a short drive and we all rush off the bus to be handed our room key. The hotel looks really nice from the outside. The itinerary did state that the hotel would have views…

We walk into our room for Lucy to start screaming we have a view like a woman in labour about to pop a baby out.

I walk out to a breath taking view:

Picture - view from our balcony

Neighbours on the right - Tammy & Joe

We walk back into the room for Lucy to start a big fuss about the Air Con. That woman needs to start sleeping in a fridge soon to cool down. A big fuss occurs over why the Air Con isn’t working. I’m standing there thinking this is probably want we get in return for a view like this.

Next thing you know Maria who was staying next door starts yelling something to us from her balcony. Apparently we need to close the balcony door and flick up this lever in order for the Air con to work. For fucks sake, can't anything be straight forward. Before Maria finished giving us her instructions on how to work the bloody Air Con Lucy slammed the door in her face and pressed a few buttons. I couldn’t be bothered getting involved in this commotion. I’ll just get ready with my camera incase Maria comes storming over to bitch slap Lucy.

Meanwhile it was time for another view photo:




The plan for tonight was to attend an optional dinner with the lunatics in Sorrento town near the water. We had abit of time to unwine before getting ready to hit the town. We were told by Cabbage Patch to meet in reception as she was organising a number of small vans to the venue. Due to Sorrento’s streets being very narrow we can't use our normal insight bus.

We arrived at reception for Good Old to drag Lucy away somewhere while I had a random chat with Prisonbreak chick and Tammy. Lucy came back muttering something about tits or titties. I didn’t know what she was on about. For a minute I thought she got to touch Good Old’s tit’s or something. Apparently the story follows that the hotel owner brings his dog to the hotel. Somewhere in between Good Old discovered it and attacked it. The dog’s name is TITTI or something. God its too early in the evening for this shit. I still haven’t had a touch of alcohol. Meanwhile Prisonbreak chick and I have started bonding.

The fuckin vans are running late and everyone’s starting to get frustrated. We start walking up and down the same street outside the hotel. Meanwhile someone indicates that there is a free concert around the corner which intrigues half the group.Finally the vans arrive and it’s a major commotion to get people into the vans. People wanted to sit with certain people. For fucks sake people just sit somewhere. Its only a short drive to the venue.

15 minutes later the van pulls into this back alley where we are dumped and told to walk the rest of the way. We follow the group through a narrow street which smelled worst than Florence to end up at the beach front. I think the people on tour who dressed up and wore heels started to worry that we were probably heading to some small kiosk restaurant like Harry’s back in Sydney. Next thing you know we arrive at this really beautiful Italian restaurant by the water.


With an amazing view like this:


We seat ourselves with Diane and Will joining us as usual. God loves those two. The waiters start bring out the entrée - Mozzarella cheese and tomato on a plate -YUM!!!

For some reason Kath looks like she's ready to stab someone...

I still cant get over the view from this restaurant. We can almost spot the Isle of Capri from it. Now that’s something I am really looking forward to tomorrow. Next thing you know the waiter brings out this massive Pizza on a long tray. Lucy races up to get a photo with the remainder of us following her. I’m pretty sure the waiter was ready to stab Lucy as she caused a massive photo queue. You see the people on tour actually think we are professional photographers due to our digital SLR Cameras. So when we jump up for a photo they figure it must be worth taking a photo of.


The magerita pizza was too die for. The crispy crust blended in with the famous Greek tomatoes covered in cheese was one of the best pizza’s I’ve had in Italy. The next meal was Cannelloni with penne on the side. Oh my god! I can still taste this in my mouth to date. This was unbelievably delicious. This and the lasange we had in Florence.

The next meal was Fish. Some of us didn’t want fish so they offered us chicken to which we accepted. Now the chicken arrived and I took one look at it and thought god what is this. Man did I eat my words. I have never and I repeat never had such a delicious chicken in my life. Served with some lemon sauce I was ready to lick the plate off. I heard the fish was very delicious as well. I have to say this experience was well worth the money we spent. Plus the unlimited wine was excellent…

All of a sudden Lucy grabbed my camera and started taking random photos of me. I was screaming for her to stop but she wouldn’t take her finger off the button. We both started laughing about nothing while Diane was staring at us in amazement.

The group started getting pretty smash on the alcohol. Somewhere in between a fuss occurred when big tits got offered to take a walk with one of the waiters along the beach. My god it would have been a less fuss if the waiter asked the 81 year old for her kidney. Apparently the 81 year olds got the shits and wanted to smack the poor waiter from one end to the other.

While this fuss was going on I suddenly turned around to spot Diane with a camera to her face pointing it at me. For some reason I bursted into laughter with tears running down my face. Why the hell is Diane trying to get a photo of me? More importantly I'm luckly I didn't smack my face into her camera. Lucy decided to join this random laughing fit as well as Diane. I don’t think any of us really knew what we were laughing at. I swear this is one of the highlights from the trip. I remember trying to stop laughing but I couldn’t.

Diane & her camera

While recovering from my laughing fit the waiters brought around a shot of Limoncello to everyone. Lucy screamed around the table that everyone had to take it as a shot so what do we do? We listen to her and take it as a shot. God I cant believe we did that but I think at this point it doesn’t really matter.

Meanwhile I think we shocked Cabbage Patch who informed our entire table that we had to in fact sip it slowly. For fucks sake why couldn’t you tell us this earlier woman. I think the Lemoncello took both Diane and Kath over the edge. Diane was having a non stop giggling fit while Kath looked like she was about to vomit.

The night slowly came to an end and we were escorted back on to the van’s drunk as. I don’t really remember how we got back to the hotel or how I ended up in bed. Now that says a lot doesn’t it…?