THE VOLLEYBALL TEAM

For the past few weeks I haven’t gotten any rest from hearing about the new volleyball team that’s come about. Due to Greek and work I haven’t had the time to go watch a game until last Monday.

I rocked over to Broadway with my cameras, not only to watch but also to film the entire game. Hence somewhere along the way I volunteered to be the volleyball analyst without evening know the rules of the game.

To cut to the chase, their team is called Sharkbait. At first I thought their team name was Spiderbait but then realized it’s actually Sharkbait. However lets just call them "Asians on drugs featuring Gus".

The Asian on drugs featuring Gus decides to hit the court for a round of let’s just say "Volleyball". Within the first 50 seconds of the game scarface AKA Vicki managed to slam herself onto the ground onto her knees. The poor girl’s been hit with the ball every week so far and soon requires plastic surgery on her face.

My heart started racing when all of a sudden Oishii started screaming when she hit the ball. I wasn’t sure if she injured herself or what the hell was going on. However soon enough I realized she was screaming majority of the time when the ball came at her. I wasn’t sure if this was to scare the other team or any of her own team members not to touch her ball.

It wasn’t until this defining moment that I realized that the ball headed towards Scarface when she approached the ball and hit the ball and then yelled "Mine". Who the hell yells mine after hitting the ball? Obviously if you hit it, its your bloody ball. What that’s not good enough that you have to parade around saying its mine mine mine. It’s like me filming a scene. The scene ends and I yell "Action". Like what the ?

Within the next few minutes we witness a ball heading towards Alex who was wearing a purple shirt. For some reason Scarface decided to charge towards her and almost smack Alex’s tits with her hands before throwing herself onto the ground to be trampled on. Is it me or is the girl seriously asking for plastic surgery?

Sharkbait AKA "Asian on drugs featuring Gus" have a serious clapping obsession after each ball. They win a point they clap, they lose a point they clap, they serve the ball and the ball goes out and they clap. Who the hell claps non-stop in a game? I understand you need to keep morale up if the team is losing but come on the constant clapping seriously gets annoying after a while.

Bringing me to the famous "Rove Hater Tze" the guy has this thing where every time he hits or touches the ball he fixes his hair. For crying out loud woman get a headband or something. Did you want a mirror as well so that you can pull it out in between rounds to do your hair? By the way by the end of the game hair # 2734 was out of place.

At the 14th minute things started to heat up. The other team serves the ball towards the middle of the court when all we saw was Scarface running like a maniac screaming towards it. The best part was the other remaining team members were left in shock and none of them actually moved or even considered getting to the ball as Scarface had charged at full speed like her ass was on fire. Oh yeah she managed to hit the ball.

Oishii – special thanks to her kneepads is treating the volleyball court like a wet and wild amusement park. I lost the amount of times she was sliding from one end of the court to the other. For a minute I thought I was watching dancing on ice.

Things got interesting when Jenny smacked into Oishii and grabbed her tits. I wasn’t sure if I was watching volleyball or some girl action. At that point Oishii let out another scream. However this only encourage Jenny further to grab on.
My heart went out for Scarface as numerous times she yelled mine at a ball only to have it snatched right under her nose. It was like a candy being snatched from a little kid. She was left with nothing but a sick disgusted look on her face.

Immediately following Scarface’s disgusted look was when the other team served a ball towards Oishii. For some reason Oishii decided to do a 360 degree turn around while smashing the ball not towards the net but towards the front door whilst screaming like a lunatic. Someone needs to tell her that screaming is not actually considered as granting. Regardless she some how managed to throw herself onto the ground yet again laughing at the fact she just spun herself around in a 360 degree format for no particular reason.

The DVD will now be selling at a whopping $5 for anyone interested in a laugh!!!