Mozie the bitch that woke me up at 1:30am!

It’s 1:30am and the hotel phone rings while we are fast asleep. My heart skips a million beats as I jump forward on my bed. In the dark I try very hard trying to pick up the hotel phone to only knock over everything on the table to the ground. I finally found the lamp switch to turn it on. I answer the hotel phone half-asleep while panicking.

I answer to hear some woman on the phone mumbling something. For a minute I thought the Erboy bitch had stuffed up our booking and she was kicking us out of the room. Seriously who else could it be at this time of the morning? Next thing I know this woman starts mumbling something about Lily. I start to panic thinking something’s happen to Lily to only wake up to myself.

The bitch on the phone kept yelling is Lily there. I thought maybe it was Lily’s parents thinking she’s run away from home to Turkey again or there’s been an emergency and they are trying to get in contact with her. This didn’t make sense to me as Lily’s parents didn’t know my number or the hotel number I was staying at. God I’ve only swapped and changed like 5 hotels since I’ve been here.

Feeling too tired and sleepy to deal with this at 1:30am, I pass the phone to Nagasaki to figure this one out.

Prank Caller – Lily?
Nagasaki – What?
Prank Caller – mumbles something about Mum?
Nagasaki – Who is this?
Prank Caller – Lily? Mum?
Nagasaki – What?
Prank Caller – Mum! Its Mozie!
Nagasaki – Who? I don’t know any Mozie
Prank Caller – Mum!
Nagasaki – I’m not your mum
Prank Caller – Is this Istanbul?
Nagasaki – Yes it’s Istanbul but I’m not your mum
Prank Caller – It’s Mozie Mum
Nagasaki – I’m not your fucken mother
Prank Caller – It’s Mozie
Nagasaki – What the hell do you want from me?
Prank Caller – Mozie
Nagasaki – I’m not your fucken mother how many times do I have to tell you

Nagasaki slams the phone down while I stroll to the bathroom in the dark to pee. While in the bathroom I hear my mobile ringing while Nagasaki is screaming something. In a mad panic, I don’t think I finished peeing as I ran half-naked into the room to answer my phone. I answer the phone and all I hear is silence before they hang up. We both freak out thinking something has happened in Sydney.

Who the hell is calling us at 1:30am? Which inconsiderate bitch is waking us up in search of their mother? If I ever lay my hands on that prank caller I will ……………….. BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP