The $40 Dollar woman CLAIMS her spot

The last day in Mykonos.... I still don't know how the hell I got out of bed this morning. We both felt like crap and barely got out of bed before midday. Our throats were killing and noses were running. I reckon we caught something off that tart Kylie. Even though we didn't have direct tongue intereaction with you she must have past around some of her disease.

We slowly drag ourselves to a cafe which we became obessessed with in 2004 due to its Greek coffee and order a breakfast feast that we can barely eat. we ended up with a huge king size breakfast thing. I tell Nagasaki that I'm taking pills today and not drinking tonight when I get yelled out that this is our last night in Mykonos and we have to drink.

After breakfast we decide to work off the feast by chasing the peeing dog again only to give up after 30 seconds because we feel like shit. Instead we start shopping for crap we don't need when it occurs to me that I need to buy an oil painting for someone. Hence we both start heading to the $40 dollar woman's shop.

The $40 dollar woman - 2004 RECAP



Ok I don’t even know how to explain this one but this was an incident the minute we stepped into the store. It all started with the obsession to buy oil paintings of Mykonos. It’s beyond me how I was going to take theses home.We stepped into the store and immediately noticed the owner i.e. the $40 dollar woman chewing away as usual. Every time we see this woman she’s chewing on something.

A person can’t possibly be chewing on gum for this long. Were assuming maybe she’s chewing on pieces of food left in her mouth from the night before or her gums.Anyway we ask her for the price of a small painting and she chews at us and responds 15 Euros.

Then we ask her the price of a slightly bigger painting and she chews at us and then responds 40 Euros. My friend decides to buy the 40 Euro painting. We go to the counter to face the music.

My friend pulls out a 50 Euro note to pay for a 15 Euro oil painting. The woman immediately starts panicking and screams “No money… No money”. I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. For a minute I thought she thought that we were robbing her or something.

In confusion my friend then decides to pull out a 20 Euro. For crying out loud what type of sick person doesn’t pull out the 20 Euros beforehand and save us the whole incident. After handing the money over to the woman she starts to panic again by scream “No No 40 Euros, another 20”.

For crying out loud the woman doesn’t even know the prices for her paintings. Every time we asked her for a price she would wander over chewing in her mouth of course looks at the painting for 40 seconds and then makes up a price for it. What the hell is that about?

Anyway finally we try and explain to her that the smaller painting we wanted to buy she quoted 15 Euros and not 40 Euros. She looks at us like we are a pair of lunatics trying to rip her off and then she starts to smash her hands to her head like 4 or 5 times saying sorry sorry. I was biting my lips to step outside to burst into tears from laughing. The woman is totally insane. This whole Island is full of weird locals.


The $40 dollar woman Strikes again - 2004 RECAP

This one really kills it. Were walking towards the $40 dollar woman’s shop. She’s outside doing something when she spots us coming towards her shop. She runs inside her shop and closes both doors and locks up.

For crying out loud what kind of a sick person sees us coming and closes their shop. She must have been going through her price list before we step back into the shop. Honestly I don’t know what the hell she is on or what the hell she is chewing but that woman has serious issues. Just for spite we went back into her shop that afternoon to buy another painting.Were standing minding our own business trying to select a painting when a light bulb blows up smack bang in our face. For a minute I thought the shop was getting attacked or something. What kind of a sick persons light bulb blows up on us? Were quite lucky the light didn’t explode on us with glass going everywhere.

The $40 dollar woman CLAIMS her spot for 2005!

We discussed whether or not the weeded woman has become the highlight of 2005 but I knew that the $40 dollar woman would reclaim her spot in 2005. This is what happened before hand. We booked all the accomodation for Greece with my credit card, so Nagasaki decided to pay me in Euro's rather than dealing with the conversion rate back at home. So I had huge notes like 100 and 50 Euros on me.

We head towards the $40 dollar woman's shop when Nagasaki takes over the camera and starts filming secreting while holding the camera in hand. All that camera training has paid off finally.
We stroll into the store and head to the back of the shop to check out the oil paintings. This is where it gets confusing. We grab oil paintings and ask the $40 dollar woman how much they are.
After watching the video tape this is what took place.

Scene - $40 Dollar womans shop in Mykonos.

I point to an oil painting.

Me - How much?
$40 Woman - $15
Me - $15?
$4o Woman - Yes $15

Nagasaki decides to put 2 cents in at this stage

N - Did you want that?
Me - I might as well. What about this one?

( I turn to the $40 Woman to ask for a price for a different size oil painting)

Me - How much for this one?

$40 Woman - The same

( The $40 dollar woman walks closer to check out the painting)

$40 Woman - $15
Me - $15?
$40 Woman - $15

(The $40 Woman grabs the painting off my hands and shoves it against the wall to check out the size difference. Honestly what does she think this is? Next thing you know shes going to start weighing the oil paintings like gold to give a price)

$40 Woman - $14
Me - $14?
$40 Woman - $14

(The $40 Woman starts to walk away when I see another oil painting that I like. I point to it and ask her for a price)

$40 Woman - Errrrrrr $14

( She stops and then starts slapping the painting as if she's a butcher cutting up meat)

$40 Woman - Errrrrr $10 $10. I'm sorry. $10

(She's confused and were more confused. So I try and work out what is what)

Me - This one $10, This one $14?

$40 Woman - Same size

(For crying out loud the woman doesnt know her prices)

Me - Ok $10.

After 5 minutes we still didnt know how much what painting was. Some of the paintings had prices scribbed on them in pencil but everytime we asked her for a price she either said an amount bigger or less. Seriously the woman has no idea about her prices what so ever.

I decide to get the $10 painting to end all of this. The plan was to pull out the 100 Euros to her but when I open my wallet I notice I only have a 50 Euro. I forgot the day before the exchange woman broke it into two 50's for me.

So I hand over the 50 Euros and this was the response I got:

$40 Woman - SssshhhhhhhhhUUUUURrrrrrrrrPPPPPPPPP with her saliva. It was like she was a vacuum cleaner sucking out the air.

$40 Woman - No moore money?

Me - (Thinking she's asking me for more money) No more Money?

$40 Woman - This one too many ( She points to the streets) More shops

Me - No money?

$40 Woman - No. No. I'm sorry

(At this stage I'm about to burst out laughing when I try and step back and hide in the back of the shop)

N- I might have $10 or $15 in my wallet. How a look

I manage to grab Nagasaki's wallet some how after it gets pulled out. Becuase Nagasaki is trying to film the whole situation, the focus is on keeping the camera in place. The $40 Woman must think that Nagasaki is disabled or something. Why the hell am I going through a wallet. I manage to find change and we pay the $40 Woman for the painting. She thanks us and opens her cash register to put the money in. Well she doesnt have a cash register but a draw which she opens and throws the 10 euros in and closes it shut. She's made budget for the week.

We storm out of the shop and I can feel my lips being soooooo sore from biting on them to avoid a laughing fit in the shop. We run all the way to Skan. Bar to plant ourselves down to rewatch the footage we have. We got awesome footage to which we start laughing about at the stairs of Skan. Bar with tourist staring at us.

We have closure! She has reclaimed her spot for 2005!