The Golden Terrace Incident - Finally Here...

Food Poisoning waiting to happen......
Nautiboy Productions

A touch of Shish

The day kicked off when I got flashed by a guy pulling his pants down to show his girlfriends his ass smack bang in the middle of the city. I should have taken this as a sign as to what was yet to come…

7:45pm – I nearly have an asthma attack running to the girl’s hotel to jump into a cab waiting. I jump in, do a quick cab search with my eye – no sign of Abdullah. The journey continues as we head to Sydney Rd in Melbourne. The point of tonight was to try a Turkish restaurant in Melbourne.

We arrived on Sydney Rd and we asked the cab driver if he knew of any good Turkish restaurants. He recommended Alasya Restaurant to us. As we were driving to this restaurant, luckily my cousin spoke in Turkish to me. The cab driver turned around and spoke back to us in Turkish. He turned out to be a Turk and we got excited until we figured out that he was trying to screw us over.

The Turk cab driver told us that after all Alasya restaurant isn’t that good because it was recently shut down when eight people were food poisoned. Like oh my god. What a fuckin idiot. Taking us to our deaths in some dodge restaurant. At least if im going to get food poisoned let the man get food poisoned somewhere respectable. Not some little dodge back alley Turkish restaurant.

So finally the cab driver told us that there was heaps of Turkish restaurants here and he dumped us in the middle of nowhere. We stupidly got out of the cab in some deserted junkie neighbourhood. Poor Tracey was nearly in tears at the thought of someone finding her body in this neighbourhood.

We wandered around searching for food like lost puppy dogs. The street, which was supposed to be a party town, was deserted with a few junkie looking people wandering around. Welcome to Redfern people…

As Tracey grabbed a firm hold of her handbag, she convinced herself and me that there was a guy following us. After a few happy laps around Sydney Rd in the freezing cold we discovered a Turkish Club filled with old men playing card games. There was no way I was going in to ask for directions hehe

We finally found another Turkish sounding restaurant called Rumeli. We stood outside this restaurant for about 15minutes arguing whether it was safe to eat here or not. Meanwhile the two guys sitting near the window were checking the girls out; well let’s hope they were checking them out!

At a time like this, what does one do? Lets call a friend to do a background check. On the phone to our mate Bill in Sydney, it took him half an hour to search his database rating on his PC to tell us that this restaurant was decent. Well what did we do? We waited 10minutes and got Tracey to flash a cab down.

We caught another cab to the beginning of Sydney Road. Paid more cab money and once again the cab driver was Turkish. Its either the Abdullah’s screwing us over or the Turkish cabbies.

We stood outside Golden Terrace. Its quite funny how we don’t learn from anything. Recapping some points. Gozde the Turkish chick from Myer recommended a perfectly good restaurant to us but what do we do? We ignore the lunatic even though we asked for her advice.

We walk inside and even though the woman tells us to wait we sit ourselves while the belly dancing show is going on. We catch a glimpse of entertainment!!!

At this point we are all starving and immediately know that we want kebab. We try ordering kebab to find out that there is no kebab at this restaurant. We should have taken this as a sign and walked out when we could of but what do we continue to do? We order shish kebab.

The food arrives. We dig in like we haven’t eaten since leaving Sydney only to discover a hair in the humus and a bone in Tracey’s shish kebab.

The food was fantastic! Next we need some tea...........