LUGANO - SWITZERLAND

We’re back on the Insight bus heading towards the Switzerland border for our next stop – Lugano. When we were at the Autogrill I ended up buying 3 Liters of water for the road. We’re drinking water like no tomorrow here due to the heat. I placed the plastic bag with the 3 Liters of water above us on the top compartment of the bus. Some how the water bottles escaped from the plastic bag while we were traveling. Maybe it’s because I didn’t tie the plastic bag. Oh well!

Lucy starts whining that I should get up and take the water bottles down before they cause a scene. I tell her the water bottles are fine. For the next 10 minutes all I hear is the water bottles moving around and Lucy whining. FFS can’t a man have some peace and quiet. If it isn’t bloody Cabbage Patch talking its Lucy whining. Both of them need to be bitch slapped from one end of the bus to the other.

I couldn’t take anymore whining from Lucy so I jump up from my seat to put the water bottles back into the plastic bag and tie it all up. I sit back down in my seat for Lucy to complain that the plastic bag is seriously on the edge of the compartment and will eventually tumble down. The best part is - if the plastic bag fell the entire 3 Liters of water would tumble on top of the 81 year olds. God, that would be funny. Well actually it would probably be the death of them. We can’t have that now can we?

The bus stops at the Switzerland border and I jump up in a mad panic to move the plastic bag with the 3 Liters of water down to our feet. I swear Lucy had to ruin the fun and save the lives of the 81 year olds. I can see the newspaper headlines – 81 years olds killed when 3 liters of water fall onto their heads. Ok I’m evil, moving right along.

We wait on the bus as Cabbage Patch storms off to get us permission to enter Switzerland. Next thing you know the Swiss guards jump onto the bus and immediate head towards me demanding to see my passport. I pull out my passport and hand it over to him. He looks at it and then looks me in the eye and questions whether I have anything to declare. I was about to say 3 liters of water when I respond with “nothing”. He hands back my passport to me still staring at me while Lucy is holding her passport to hand over to him. He looks at Lucy holding her passport and refuses to look at it. They take a quick glance to the people on the bus and walk off. What the fuck was that about? Why was I singled out? I’m assuming they must have seen me jump up at the border in a mad rush to get the water down and assumed I was trying to hide goods. FFS I have a good mind to slam the 3 Liters of water on Lucy’s head right now.

We eventually enter Switzerland and arrive in Lugano.

We jump off the bus and follow Cabbage Patch to some store where we can use the toilets and get a free spoon. I received this free spoon 3 years ago. In fact we have 3 sitting at home right now. Cabbage Patch makes an announcement that its one sliver spoon per couple. Cabbage Patch hands one to me. I figure since I have 3 sitting at home I should give it to Lucy to treasure. Even though I could make a set out of them back in Sydney.

Were first in line to use the toilets and just as well as there’s only one toilet. I storm in first and walk out for Cabbage Patch to yell out to me. She tells me that we can now have a spoon each and since I didn’t get one she hands over a spoon to me. For crying out loud make up your mind woman. Do I get a spoon or not? Meanwhile another tour group arrives to use the toilets. Its jam packed in there as the store is quite small. I wait for Lucy to come out of the toilet and we decide to storm out and explore Lugano.

Lugano - Switzerland

Lugano - Town square

I came to Lugano in my Europe trip 3 years ago and fell in love with the place. It’s a small town but has amazing mountain and water views. We walk the streets of Lugano when Lucy screams she wants to buy Swiss chocolates. We start a mad search for Swiss chocolate. I point out a chocolate shop to Lucy to only be screamed at that the chocolate shop would be expensive. FFS you either what chocolates or not! Cabbage Patch briefed us stating there was a department store like Myer to buy chocolates from. Some how we had missed the store walking down the main strip.

We walk back to discover the department store. We stroll in and immediately our eyes get caught with the massive Chocolate wall. This is too good to be true.

Swiss Chocolates

Bloody Lucy wanted the chocolates and now I’m spending money buying some. I found a Lindt hardcover packaged box. I figured I should buy some for the hell of it. Only problem was I didn’t know how to convert Swiss Franc to Euros. I took the Lindt chocolate to the counter to ask the chick behind the counter. She looked confused when I asked her. I don’t think she had much English. She scanned the item and responded with 60. I looked at her confused. There was no way this tiny box of chocolates could be 60 Euros right? I walked off to run into the 81 years olds and their daughter Renee. I told them the story and they were shocked. It was like I bitched slapped the whole family in the middle of a department store.

Eventually I saw Lucy drooling all over the chocolates and told her my story as well. She asked if I was sure about this and that it might be 6 Euros. I decided to go back to the chick at the counter and ask her again. She seemed pissed off that I was back asking the same question. Eventually we got to the bottom of this. It was 6 Euros. I quickly rushed back to buy more and informed the 81 years olds who got excited with my current news.

Once the purchases were made and I spent close to 50AU on chocolates we decided to head towards the water to take some pictures. I actually really like Lugano. It’s quite beautiful with its scenery.

Lugano Scenery

Somewhere in between I spotted a kiosk that was selling postcards. When I brought the chocolates the chick gave me Swiss Franc in change. This meant I had to spend my money before I left. Hence I hit the postcard rack and found the perfect postcard for Cherry. Lucy didn’t think it was a good one and hence I didn’t end up buying it.

Potential postcard for Cherry:

Instead Cherry I got you a picture of a posing Swiss Cop:

We started walking along the water towards the meeting point when we ran into Good Old and Ron. Ron decided to show us his new Swiss watch that he spent 150 Euros on. It was a nice watch indeed. I don’t think it was that expensive for a Swiss watch. However we both knew Ron was buying shit for spite now. It’s probably a good pay back to Good Old for wasting money on the Winx doll.

Meanwhile some German guy asked Ron to take a photo of him and his friend. Ron asked Lucy to do it. Lucy took the photo only for the German guy to scream at her that he didn’t like it. I think she took another one and the German guy still didn’t like it so I had to step in and finalize this transaction. FFS these Germans can be demanding.

Once this fuss was over we all walked to the meeting point to be picked up by Umberto our bus driver to head towards Lake Maggiore.