THE PORN PARTY

I can't even remember how on earth I came up with this idea to begin with but I figured it would make life interesting by throwing a PORN PARTY @ my house. It was tipped to be disaster from the word go.

I sent an email out with a Porn attached to it to invite people over and even that caused major headaches for some. Well there was no backing out now.

The setting was set with a directors chair, masks, whips, g-strings and anything else you can imagine as the guest started to arrive one by one.

Directors chair with Pimp hat & Accessories

Of course a Porn Party wouldnt be a party without the famous icon from our uni movie "Hidden Intentions". What may this be? Of course Cherry's G-string. The purple G-string was used in HI to reveal Cherry's one night stand with her lesbian lover Seker (Played by Houri). Even though the actors were unaware of their sexual relation this was carefully plotted by the evil script writers HAHAHAHA

Cherry's Purple G-String

Guests have arrived and the venue was set to party with alot of munchies and of course our famous Greek Salad made to feed half of Africa!

Greek Salad to feed the whole of Africa

With drinks pouring the venue was pumping....

Busted @ a Porn Party

Present @ this special event was Shazza with her "Buffy the vampire layer" video!

A Porn Party wouldnt be the same without our Joshy!!!

We decided to start the evening by showing "Soft Porn". Thinking it would be akward enough for all of us, to my suprise people started screaming they were sick of this and wanted the hardcore porn.

So out came the hardcore porn and we drank to that!

Now notice we are drinking punch here. Oishii tossed together anything and everything she can find to make this punch. I think we used an entire cask of wine plus she managed to soak the fruit with tequila before dumping them into the fruit punch bowl.

It wasnt long before Khan got his greedy hands onto the punch!

During the evening Shazza and I decided to throw on the masks for entertaining!

Drunkin Khan then decided to direct his own Porn!

Things got out of hand and it was everyone grabbing Josh's ass! Christine got a good grab and liked what she had in her hands!

Oishii also had a go! Josh you slut!@

The group enjoyed the hardcore Porn more than the soft porn. The porn party turned into a discussion group with people commenting on positions, structures and lack of speech. Fred insisted that she wanted Porn with a storyline. We had to explain to her there is no porn with a storyline. Get with the porn woman!

Of course Josh was in shock at some of the stuff he saw and his face was priceless!

What was Josh watching?

Some random chick riding some guy! The Porn was getting too much for us and luckily Nez pulled out a cowboy shots bottle from her bag. We immediately chilled the bottle and lined up the shots for people.

With the shots taken by everyone there things started to get alittle shaky!

Fred finally spots Christine's G-String hanging from one of my lights and questions why her Kmart ones isnt hanging off the lights? Some people have issues!

It was getting late and with all the alcohol these people consumed it was time to make some Traditional Turkish Tea with the assistance of Tugcen. The tea boiled and we prepared the cups like shot glasses!

Following the tea fuss people started leaving until we got to the final one - MATT. Matt refused to leave and wouldnt get off my couch. So I had to do what needed to be done. Picked him up, dragged him to the front door, opened the front door and shoved him outside to the lawn. I picked up his sneakers and threw them out the door and slammed the door shut. Right, now were ready for bed.

Luckily I had changed all the bedsheets for the spare beds if anyone wanted to spend the night. I allocated a room each to Oishii, Cherry & Joshy. With everyone in their rooms, lights were out and I was tucked away in bed ready to sleep when the door bell rang.

In a mad panic, trying to think who the hell it was I rushed out of the room in a mad panic. At the same time everyone else poked their head out of their bedroom doors. It was a mad rush to see who it was. I raced downstairs to check the front door and I couldnt see anyone. This is when Oishii starts running upstairs screaming it must be Matt. We storm into the balcony room and poke through the window to spot Matt's car across the street. So I storm into Joshy's room to open the window and see. This is when we spot Matt screaming he wants more Optus lollies on my front lawn at 3am!

Without thinking it was a mad storm downstairs to locate the box of Optus lollies. While Oishii and I are trying to deal with this fuckwit Cherry decides to jump into bed with Joshy!

Back in the room downstairs I'm grabbing handfuls and handfuls of packets of lollies into my arms. I storm to the front door crazily as I swing open the front door and start hurling packets after packets. The best part - some of the packets broke open in mid air and 20 small lollies showered down upon Matt. While Oishii is filming this process with my video camera, I'm screaming and throwing packets of lollies across my front lawn at Matt. Can you imagine if any of my neighbours saw this at 3am? They would probably want to submit me into a mental institution. Yes I know its almost time!

Meanwhile Cherry and Joshy were no help. Nicely tucked into a warm bed together leaving us to deal with the lunatic at hand. Finally I run out of lollies so I slam the door shut. Matt disappears for a few seconds until he pops up to the window to do a blowfish. Fuckin I just cleaned the window today as well!

Hitting rock bottom I lose all thought and race into the kitchen. I dont think the light was on, I cant even remember. I grab the first thing I see on the table being a half filled glass. Thinking its a glass of coke I race down the hallway to the door. I swing the door open and see Matt running like a lunatic so I chase him until I throw whats in the glass on Matt. Little did I realise at the time it was actually wine! Poor thing coped a half filled glass of wine over his white jacket! Ouch!

Luckily I didnt grab the leftover punch bowl! That would have done serious damage.

Thinking that has put an end to this we head back upstairs to notice Cherry snuggled up in bed with Joshy still under the blankets. Thinking its too early in the morning to deal with this shit I start heading to my bedroom to sleep until the doorbell rings again.

Right this was the final straw. It was time for my dad's chainsaw! I storm like a lunatic into the garage trying to find the bloody chainsaw to end all of this. Being unsuccessful in finding it I decide to grab the handsaw and chase Matt down my front lawn with it screaming my head off. And yes this is all on camera my friends. A nutcase in boxers with a handsaw chasing another nutcase at 3am in the morning.

Somewhere in between I remember throwing an empty coke bottle at him. His very lucky I didnt get my hands on him with the chainsaw.

I seriously couldnt take anymore excitment for one night. I dumped the handsaw back into the garage when I saw my dad's torch. I decided to grab it and head into Joshy & Cherry's room to ignore Matt. We enter the room with a torch, video camera to expose their love affair to the world. Even though the footage is 6 years late we can some how use it for HI one day. With both snuggled up in bed together we manage to capture shots of Christines clevage and Josh's butt.

I decided to jump in between them to do my "Hi I'm Dimitri Giotoplous from SMG TV Network report".

Meanwhile Matt is screaming his head off on my front lawn. We peek through the window to spot him picking up every little piece of lolly packet to shove in his car. Some people have serious issues. Who the fuck picks up lollies from someones lawn at 3am.

Matt throws a few lollies onto my balcony before storming off to his car and driving off. This was the best sign. Matt gone! Now we can all get sleep and Cherry and Joshy can do what the hell they want to do in the bedroom.

I crash into bed and block out all noise!