LUCIANA'S SUMMER PARTY
It was Luciana's Summer Party recently. For those that remember Luciana was my Italian teacher. We went to her Winter Party last year in July, ate all her food, drunk all her wine and stormed off laughing our heads off. Christine got so drunk this is when she declared the sex competition that no one knew was happening. Flashback to Christine yelling in the car demanding to know when Oishii last had sex. Right moving right along...
Since this year we weren't sure of whether we were attending or not we made a decision about two hours before hand and only rocked up together. We pretty much had a discussion in the car on whether we would bother to mingle with the others there or pretty much do the same thing as last year. We both knew deep down that there was no way in hell we would bother to mingle and that we were only going for the food and wine. However Oishii did state that we should at least try.
We arrived at Luciana's house and did the usual thing and shoved a bottle of wine into her hand before storming into the backyard to shove food down our throats. We quickly eyed the table to notice alot of dips and munchies. Shoving food into our mouths and avoiding eye contact with everyone else there, this was the moment we had someone come up to us.
Enter Mr too happy to be alive. He walked straight up to us and introduced himself. Within seconds I realised he was gay and hoping to hit on me. Feeling awkward we continued to talk to him realising he works for SBS. I seriously cant remember his name but he was practically jumping with excitment every time he spoke. God I was ready to grab anything sharp to shove in his eye so that he can leave us alone.
To add to this scene, another one walks in. It only gets better. This time it's a girl called Lily. Within seconds I got the feeling she was a lesbian and wanted to hit on Oishii. So this was great. Picture this both of us standing here trying to avoid the whole awkward scene with these gay people, shoving more and more chips into our mouths not to make it obvious. The worst part was the chips were disgusting.
It's actually funny, it's probably the first time we were getting hit on at the same time. Oishii was having her own conversation with the lesbian while the gay guy was trying his best to chat me up. It got to the point where I couldnt take it anymore and I started yelling over to Oishii that she had to listen to this. The gay guy was going on about his travel stories and how he always becomes a victim of a smuggling ring.
Since this year we weren't sure of whether we were attending or not we made a decision about two hours before hand and only rocked up together. We pretty much had a discussion in the car on whether we would bother to mingle with the others there or pretty much do the same thing as last year. We both knew deep down that there was no way in hell we would bother to mingle and that we were only going for the food and wine. However Oishii did state that we should at least try.
We arrived at Luciana's house and did the usual thing and shoved a bottle of wine into her hand before storming into the backyard to shove food down our throats. We quickly eyed the table to notice alot of dips and munchies. Shoving food into our mouths and avoiding eye contact with everyone else there, this was the moment we had someone come up to us.
Enter Mr too happy to be alive. He walked straight up to us and introduced himself. Within seconds I realised he was gay and hoping to hit on me. Feeling awkward we continued to talk to him realising he works for SBS. I seriously cant remember his name but he was practically jumping with excitment every time he spoke. God I was ready to grab anything sharp to shove in his eye so that he can leave us alone.
To add to this scene, another one walks in. It only gets better. This time it's a girl called Lily. Within seconds I got the feeling she was a lesbian and wanted to hit on Oishii. So this was great. Picture this both of us standing here trying to avoid the whole awkward scene with these gay people, shoving more and more chips into our mouths not to make it obvious. The worst part was the chips were disgusting.
It's actually funny, it's probably the first time we were getting hit on at the same time. Oishii was having her own conversation with the lesbian while the gay guy was trying his best to chat me up. It got to the point where I couldnt take it anymore and I started yelling over to Oishii that she had to listen to this. The gay guy was going on about his travel stories and how he always becomes a victim of a smuggling ring.
Gay Guy above to the right of the picture
Apparently he was on a bus from Bulgaria to Turkey where a bunch of cops stopped the bus on the border. They stormed onto the bus and used chainsaws to rip open all the seats to discover that someone was trying to smuggle tea into Turkey! Like what the ?
The stories continue when he was on train somewhere and as they approached the border the people in his train carriage decided to throw bags out the window. We dont know what they were trying to smuggle in but it some how invovles this gay guy once again.
Saving the best till last. When he was in France with his friend he managed to pick up some random gay guy to whom he went to the airport with. His limited time only boyfriend told the gay guy that he had a bag full of dope. The gay guy decided to let his friend and the French guy check in together while he wandered off leaving his friend with the bags of dope. Some how they got away with it but the gay guy didnt tell his friend until after the flight. To which his friend stopped talking to him. The only thing I could think of was if this was Oishii and I, she would at least tell me I was with a drug smuggler before laughing her head off and leaving me there with the option of running off with her. I swear some people are totally fucked in the head.
Thank god Oishii and her lesbian partner came into this conversation as I couldnt take much of this shit. The awkward silence stepped in pretty much after the smuggling stories again. It was more of the chips into our mouths to pretend we were all good. Thank god at that moment some lunatic brought out grilled mushrooms. Oishii practically demanded we grab plates to get food. This was the perfect opportunity to leave these nut cases. Who are we to mingle. This is what happens when we try to mingle - we meet more freaks!
We grabbed plates and stacked enough food on them to look like we needed to sit to eat. Just when we thought we had escaped we managed to plot our butts on the other side of the garden next to this random Austrian chick who took this opportunity to tell us her entire life story.
I regret telling her I was in Marketing as this some how developed into a 10 minute spill about her life. Like I give a fuck woman. I just continued shoving food into my mouth to avoid any random unnecessary comments from me. haha
Oishii, Luciana & Me
To recover from this mess we found ourselves at Haberfield scroffing down coffee and recapping about the nutcases back at the party and how this weekend has been an introduction to Mykonos 2007 yet to come...
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