LOWIE'S 21ST BIRTHDAY BASH

LOWIE'S 21ST

Lowie's 21st birthday bash...

I managed to get us an invite to Lowie's (Craig Lowe) 21st Birthday Bash which was at Luna Park with over 1500 people invited. When I mentioned this to Cherry she jumped at the chance and then decided to screw us over by organising a dinner and dogging us. The second person to screw us over was no other than scarface aka Vicky. Who claimed she had exams to study for but was seen out and about in the city the night before drinking up. Thirdly Gus who replied with a text message requesting who Lowie was and then refusing to come. Inconsiderate people. This was left to Oishii and I to do. We knew the drill.

I met up with Oishii in the City to catch a train to Milsons Point to get to Luna Park. Picking Oishii up she seemed stressed, overworked and basically in a shitty mood. Also the fact she had lack of food in her didnt help.

We arrive at Luna Park where I insist on getting my photo taken in front of the joint. I think by this time Oishii was ready to throw me into the water. We take the photo and walk in to realise there's a GIGANTIC queue. We stand in the queue when I realise that I haven't lined up for a party in years. Oishii questions on whether we can be bothered to wait for this. It's obvious that she's ready to retire and go home to bed.

After waiting for a good half an hour in the queue we reach the top of the line where we hand our ticket over to enter the Big Top. We walk into the party to realise a whole heap of teeny boopers. This should be a fun night.

When we walked in Paulini was on stage performing. We quickly made our way to the front of the stage to grab a photo of her. Usually we squeeze right to the front but either of us could be bothered so we decided to settle for semi close photo's.

We stood there listening to Paulini performed a few songs while the teeny boopers around us were screaming and waving about. Once Paulini finished performing we decided to do a quick lap around the place. It was then that I saw Lowie's birthday cake upstairs. It was a 1.5 metre tower of donuts built on top of one another. Now thats a mad 21st birthday cake. Reminds me of my 24th Krispy Kreme cake that came crashing down due to the inconsistent construction of it.

We did a quick lap around the place when we spotted some people signing autographs. We looked at them and had no idea who the hell they were. So I decided to follow our rule - Take a photo and question who they are later. Oishii stood there in disgust and with a I can't give a fuck attitude. This is when some poor little kid who was probably around 13 years old rushes to the autograph stand asking Oishii in a mad excited panic "Who's signing autographs?". Her response to him was "Fucked if I know".

It was at this time that I knew we needed food or drinks. So we decide to step outside but not before I took this picture. The girls are YUM!!

By this time Oishii seems annoyed and shitty about being here. So we looked at the food being sold at the bar to only be tempted vomitting over it. It looks disgusting. We walk outside to sit on a bench to discuss on why we bothered coming to this. We agree to stay for abit longer as I wanted to watch Ricki Lee perform as well as Shannon Noll. This is when Oishii decides to threaten me that if we have to stay till Shannon Noll comes on there will be hell to pay for.

We walk back into the party and Lowie's doing his interviews with the performers. Ricki Lee is next on stage and I'm quite excited as I love her songs. We merge to the front of the stage slowly and Ricki Lee comes on. We both manage to capture quite a few good shots.

Picture - Ricki Lee

Once Ricki Lee was finished we decided to stay where we were as our spot was quite good. We agree to stay for another half an hour to see who else was coming out. Meanwhile the teeny boopers around us are going psycho. God I wonder If I partied like them when I was their age?

The next performers was a DJ with a hip hop team. I actually enjoyed the hip hop team where as Oishii was ready to rip someone's throat out.

It was all good and well UNTIL Lee Harding came out. This is when the crowd decided to go EXTREMELY PSYCHO... Hence this is where it all gets interesting. The minute this dude came out the teeny boopers decided to be totally insane and treat the front of the stage as a mud wrestling area. They were screaming and kicking and waving their arms about. Some one decided to throw a coke bottle at Lee Harding and smacked him with it. The next thing you know security was on the front gate trying to see who did it. Before he can spot the person another person threw another bottle at Lee. God these people would totally go insane at the tomato throwing festival in Spain. I got caught up in the moment and wanted to throw a coke bottle at Lee as well as I felt left out. The only thing I could spot to throw was Oishii's shoe but I knew there would be hell to pay if I did.

Picture - Lee Harding

We managed to handle the fact that the teeny booper were hitting us in their attempt at screaming at Lee Harding but it all took a wrong turn when Lee finished performing on stage. Once the performers finish performing onstage they head to the autograph table. This is when one of the teeny boopers decided to turn around and push or shove Oishii out of her way so that she can rush to the autograph table. WRONG MISTAKE!!!

Now let me explain this. The teeny boopers in front of us were on alittle higher surface than we were due to the staging. So the teeny booper was pushing Oishii out of her way from a higher surface when Oishii totally cracked. Oishii somehow grabbed her, lifted her up and threw her backwards into the people in front her of. THE BEST PART - was the facial reaction the chick had on her face. It was PRICELESS. She was so not expecting to be shoved back and half way across the room practically. I will never forget the chick's face as she got shoved back. I was practically in tears from laughing.

Apparently I missed the first half of this fight when the teeny boopers friend shoved Oishii somehow and Oishii used here shoulder to jam her back into position. By the time the second shove came Oishii was ready to win the battle.

While I was laughing my head off Oishii was screaming No one shoves me. It was seriously an inconsisterate shove. It wasn't a minor shoving out of the way but a full on grabbing and shoving someone to get to the autograph stand. So in Oishii's defence she did the right thing and put the teeny booper in her place.

Once the teeny booper recoverd from being shoved back she quickly took a different way to the autograph table. Just as well. This could have been war. The way Oishii was feeling and trust me when the womans hungry she needs to eat otherwise theres going to be hell to pay!

I continued to laugh while Oishii had to continue to deal with several other teeny boopers who kept pushing her and shoving her to get to the front. I think a few people will have bruises tomorrow from her elbowing people. For some reason every single teeny booper wanted to stand where Oishii was standing. Once my laughing fit came to a stop this is when I turned around to notice "Fred lookalike" wearing a gorilla suit. Oh my god I have never seem a hairer jumper than this. It was basically a gorilla on her back. The chick was holding onto a glass with wine I assume and partying away while several people copped her wine from her swinging it around.

To add to this was the 40 year old woman. Well at the time I thought there was something strange about her but it was until Oishii pointed it out later that I realised she was right. This 40 year old woman wasn't 40 at her. She was more like 15 or 16 dressed as an old nanny. She had a short bob cut, wore her grannies glasses and pearls. The fact she had so much make up and still 600 pimples on her face explained it all.

It was during this time that we realised why we come to theses things. It was the freaks we saw! On this note we decided to leave the party. Walking out of the party my first words was "I feel refreshed, I so needed that party and laughing fit". I think Oishii agreed as she was all hyped up and ready to hit a club. I think throwing a few people around the room really lifted her spirits. It did the world of good.

We hit the train station and I continue to laugh about the whole shoving incident and the fact the 40 year old turned out to be 15!

Picture - The DIVAS - Paulini, Emily, Ricki & Kate

Picture - Shannon Noll

We get to my car and the deal was to grab dinner now that we were both refreshed from that party. We started to drive to Leichhardt for some Italian when it hit me. If Oishii got into a cat fight with that chick what was I expected to do. Am I expected to film the whole situation or break it up?

This is when Oishii starts screaming that isn't the answer obvious. If she's winning then I'm expected to continue filming. If she's losing then I'm expected to break it up. However this leaves the question of what if no one is winning. My plan would be to grab a random chick from the crowd and throw her in for the hell of it.

Obviouly either the random "Victim" would gang up with Oishii to beat the other chick up so I continue to film

OR

she would gang up with the other chick to beat Oishii up where I would either throw a fourth in to keep filming or break up the fight

OR

If the Victim's really stupid Oishii and the other chick would bash the shit out of the Victim and call it even. I still get my footage.

I'm glad the equation make's it all straight forward. My only concern would be that If Cherry was there I would definafely have to throw her in to support Oishii. However once psycho Cherry's in the fight its a whole new ball game as she's completely psycho and anything is expected once she's in the picture.

Alternatively since Cherry wasn't present at the party my next choice would be the 40 slash 15 year old chick with the pearls. I think I would choose her as I know Oishii will grab onto her pearls and strangle her in the whole situation. Which would be quite entertaining for me.

Oh HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOWIE!!! DON'T FORGET TO TALK ABOUT US ON AIR!!!