SAN FRAN IN A DAY!

It's an early wake up to notice that the windows are frozen. I'm freezing to death. San Fran is sooo cold. The plan for today was to head to Alcatraz for a tour which started at 10am sharp.

For thoses that don't know what Alcatraz is, its a famous prison in San Fran in the middle of the sea. It's a whole island on its own, where no prisoners escaped from.

Leaving the hotel in search of a diner, I found myself in some dodgy San Fran cafe sniffing the smell of coffee. I order my morning coffee to wake myself up. More filtered coffee for fucks sake. Feeling half asleep I read a sign at the coffee shop and for some reason I read it wrong. I thought the sign said you can have refills so I was considering having another cup when I got yelled at by some inconsiderate person that the sign says you can't refill. Leave me alone I'm sleepy.

While this commotion was going on we spot a homeless woman outside the shop. Suddently this woman enters the coffee shop and orders a breakfast meal. Looks like shes not homeless after all. I think everyone needs more sleep!

Heading to the tram stop across the road from the hotel, one tries to figure out how to use the system. How stupid do you look when you have no idea how the tram system works here. By this time I was freezing my ass off. The tram arrives and we all jump on.

The tram pulls up at Pier 39 and we jump off. Cameras are out immediately taking photos of everything. Spotting a store we loose ourselves in there for a good 20 minutes. Random postcards were brought immediately along with jackets and what other essential needs were needed.

I think the best thing I brought in San Fran was the beanie from this shop. The next few hours were freezing and this beanie saved me.

Wandering around the Pier we hear noises. Trying to figure out what this commotion is suddently we come eye to eye - SEA LIONS. I was in shock when I saw hundreds of sea lions lying there.

After a few minutes the sea lions got annoying so we headed back to the pier to join the ferry queue. The ferry arrived and we raced on board avoiding the camera crew who wanted to take souvenier photo's. It was too damn freezing cold to stand around.

Jumping on the ferry the ideal place to sit is of course inside. Within minutes I jump up and stroll to the canteen to purchase some hot chocolate to warm up. I order the hot chocolates and the guy passes me GIGANTIC hot chocolates. I'm excited when I grab it as its boiling hot. I can hold on to it to warm me up.

The ferry pulls into the island and I have to throw the hot chocolate away as there is no food or drinks allowed on the island. I think I had two sips before throwing it out.

Jumping off the ferry I notice a huge crowd gathered around this guy screaming his lungs about the rules on the island. Screw that, I take my camera out and start taking random shots of the scenery.

The tour leads us to this book shop where they screen a film about the history of Alcatraz. I take a seat half way through the movie only to practically fall asleep and by this stage my balls were freezing!

Leaving the film we continue the journey when I notice some guy giving a talk about the inmates of Alcartraz. I stand there for less than a minute when I realise that I need to keep moving. Next stop was the audio tour of Alcartraz.

The audio tour indicates where the go in the prison. The tour starts and I immediately take photos of any cells and every part of the prison. Oh my god this reminds me of Cherry! We need to film HI in Alcartraz.

The audio tour finally finishes and we race back outside to get some far distant scenery shots of the Golden Gate Bridge. After this we race back to the ferry.

After another short ferry ride, I find myself standing on the pier freezing to death. Before the tour we spotted a stand selling Clam Chowder in a bread bowl. Feeling fascinated by it the plan was to go get one after the tour.

I purchase my Clam Chowder and its yummy. Soon I realise that pigeons are wandering around me so I start to feed them. Before I know it I have a whole zoo surrounding me so I do what anyone would do - leave the clam chowder and run for my life.....


Before I knew it, the pigeons are attacking one another to get to it. Their heads are covered in soup. People are stopping to watch them. So I pull out my video camera and start to film this. I have caused a scene in San Fran!!!!!! I'm proud!

Following the Pigeon drama its time to do some shopping. We head back into the stores and I grab some shirts and postcards.

All this shopping was making me hungry. So the next best thing was to head to Fisherman's Wharf to have lunch. Finding myself smack bang in the middle of Fisherman's Wharf I decide to get some fries and calamari for lunch. With limited places to sit I find myself seated on theses dirty steps watching some mime act for the next 20 minutes.

This was all good and well before some band started to set up. So I did what anyone would do. Got the hell out of there before the noise started to rip my ear drums apart.

Next stop was the Golden Gate Bridge.Something that I have always wanted to see in person. Looking at the map, I decide to ask a random local guy who was also looking for the same bus stop. The guy gave us directions but when we double checked the map we told the guy that this was the opposite direction. The guy refused to believe us and stormed off while we went the opposite way.

We find the right bus stop and plant ourselves there until the bus arrives.The bus driver starts screaming at us that his not going to the Golden Gate Bridge and to catch the bus coming behind him. The doors slam in my face!

The next bus arrives 5 minutes later and again the bus driver screams at us to take the next bus to the Golden Gate Bridge. This continued until some bus driver took us on board.